Am I wasting my time?Please help

First off, I'm 19. I've been living on my own since I was 15, and when most people meet me, they guess my age as 25 or 26 years old, as they find me quite mature and i look a lot older then I really am.

My boyfriend is 37 years old. He has two kids and lives with his girlfriend. He tells me that they are separating because his girlfriend has been cheating on him for a while and has a boyfriend, although she tries to hide it. Since me and him have gotten together he admitted that he had sex with his girlfriend once.

He is getting a place in the city near my house sometime this month, or so he says.

However, he tells me he's scared to love me because he doesn't want to turn his back on his family. He tells me he does love me and care about me.... and he is going to be meeting my family soon.

But I am confused.....

Am I just wasting my time ???

Does he really want to be with me? Or is this just a phase he's going through. Am I always going to be the other woman?

Please help. I am so confused.

Every man in my life so far has been either been abusive, a liar, or a cheater. And I am so scared of getting hurt again, but I already care a lot about him so I don' tknow what I should do.

Its so hard to walk away, when you care so much about a person....

Please help me.

Yes, you are wasting your time. Even though they are not married, he is an unavailable man. The line "I'm going to leave her..." is about the oldest one in the book. He is not going to leave his kids and their mother.

If all your relationships were with abusers and cheaters...well, he is cheating on his girlfriend, so here is another.

I would seriously consider counseling or other forms of help to break the cycle.

The age gap part doesn't really worry me but he is still living with the mother of his kids? Wow...that's not good. I don't think you should get involved until after she's out of the house. If he keeps stalling, then he's a dud. He should be moving out NOW.

The fact that he has kids is really tricky. You need to think about them. Are you sure you want to be involved with a guy with kids? That would include a lot of compromise and thought.

Think carefully and go with your gut.

He's twice your age, living with his family & still gets to have sex with you? Lucky man.

As for your question, of course you're wasting your time. Silly question But you're young and still have time to waste. Run with it, enjoy, take it for what it is: a temporary fling.

Just don't go opening a joint bank account.

Yes, you are wasting your time. Even though they are not married, he is an unavailable man. The line "I'm going to leave her..." is about the oldest one in the book. He is not going to leave his kids and their mother.

 

If all your relationships were with abusers and cheaters...well, he is cheating on his girlfriend, so here is another.

 

I would seriously consider counseling or other forms of help to break the cycle.

I agree here. This is rather cliche. He's telling you what you want to hear, yet going back home to his family.

Get rid of him. There's nothing but heartbreak around the corner. He won't leave her for you. He will leave you once he gets caught.

Not to echo but Yes, you're wasting your time and just going to get hurt.

If he really wanted to be with you he wouldn't have another girlfriend. You'd be his only one. I've been in a situation just like yourself except with someone married. I'm sure you've heard many of the excuses I've heard. "I'm leaving, just waiting for the right time." or "Please be patient it's not easy because of the kids." Before you know it the time will have flown and the excuses still exist and he's still with his girlfriend with you on the side. Meanwhile, your life is placed on hold because you care and love this man.

Save yourself further pain and heartache and don't go through with it. Even if he were to leave what is going to stop him from doing this to you? You've heard the saying "Once a cheater always a cheater" I am sure.

Don't go further into this, find a man who actually cares enough about those around him and not just himself. He doesn't care about his family. If he did he would have gone about it the proper way of breaking up with his girlfriend and moving out without having another one already lined up.

Hopefully, you haven't met his kids already. Please don't. Imagine the confusion and pain it will cause them.

Please get out of this as soon as you can. It will be hard, you will be hurt and upset but in time you will get past it and find someone who respects those around him and not just himself.

I went through the same junk for a year and a half, heard all the excuses and went through hell because I thought someone loved me just like you believe he loves you. In truth, I went through that hell because I was stupid. Don't make the same mistakes I did.

Yes, you are wasting your time. He's living the high life by having a girlfriend, and a side dish at the same time.

If you continue to allow this, he'll tell you that "black is white" and then go on to prove it. Do yourself a favor, and find a man that is available to you, and to you only.

Yes, you are wasting your time. You are trying to get with an unavailable man. The age gap doesn't bother me, but the fast that he still lives with his ex and has children does. Plus you were the other woman. When a girl is the other woman and then her and the guy get together, statistically those relationships never last. If he cheated with you, he probably will cheat on you. Cut your losses and move on. There are better guys out there.

He's twice your age, living with his family & still gets to have sex with you? Lucky man.

And has had (and possibly still having) sex with the woman he is still living with.

I know its not what you wanted to hear but I agree with everyone else .... you are wasting your time. I agree with fudgie, you should end things now until this guy actually takes some action as regards his situation. If he was really unhappy with his current situation and really wanted to be with you then that would be his incentive to do something about it. If he doesn't then I don't think he ever will.

This guy sounds like a player to me. I think he's trying to have two girls at once (who knows how many others there could be too). You are wasting your time sadly. But I'm sure you can find a nice guy if you keep looking.