"coming out"

So i kinda need help i guess.

Bit of background info.

-I'm 19 years old, female, single and live with my parents

-I've known i liked girls since i was 12 (which made me think that i was bisexual).

-Since the age of 17/18 i have noticed that i prefer women to men and now consider myself to be a lesbian.

Anyway now im not too sure. I find girls and guys both attractive, but i tend to like girls more and i see myself being with a woman in future rather than a man... this is my first question i guess. does this make me bi or a lesbian? i know its not good to have a "label" i would just like to know what people think.

The second question more related to the title of my post is that. Sooner rather than later i would like to "come out" to my parents. WHich also helps if i knew whether i was bi / lesbian. I told my mum about 2 years ago, whilst at a pub, that i was a lesbian, and her reaction was

" you could at least of waited till i was not drunk to tell me so we could sort this. i know you are NOT gay. you are just saying this because your friend(who had just recently "come out") is gay." *she then spent the rest of the evening in the toilets at this pub crying*

I guess maybe it wasnt the right thing to do, but i wanted to do it when i had had a drink or 2 so that i wasnt as nervous. Now i finally feel ready in myself to tell her and my dad. But because of that night im really scared of their reaction, especially my mum.

Just wondered if anyone had any helpful tips for me?

P.s if you need to know anything else, ask

Leah xx

If you're attracted to both, you're bi.

Edit - just realized you already said you lived with your parents. Can you wait til you're supporting yourself to come out to them?

Hi thanks for your reply...

I am attacted to both, but i prefer women a lot more.

and i suppose i could wait, but i feel like ive been waiting forever as it is.

i just feel like the time is right now

Just dont know how to do it

x leah

You've already come out to your Mother and she reacted badly.

Why do you want to put yourself through it again? why do your parents need to be told?

As for whether you're Bisexual or a Lesbian, I guess you can call yourself whatever you want. I am Bisexual, but prefer women. The label Bisexual tends to get misunderstood though, and I think a lot of people when they hear that word assume I'm more into guys. A lot of women who are Bi but like women a lot more call themselves Lesbians, and it makes their lives a lot easier, but I could never lie like that.

Maybe you should just call yourself "Bisexual, but I prefer women."

You know your parents best. I've just seen parents respond badly and kick their kids out. If your mom flipped out about it, then to me the possibility of being kicked out is a concern in my mind. If there's any chance of that, I'd wait til either you're supporting yourself or have some place to go.

If there's no chance of that, then tell them however you want to. You already know its going to upset them, though, and you've already told your mom, even if she chose not to accept it. I don't really see the point of a repeat. People hear what they want to hear sometimes.

You really shouldn't get caught up in labels but I agree with the "I'm bisexual with a strong preference for women" comment if you must use one. I didn't have the luxury of "coming out". When I was 17, my mom found out through an incident. Its been three years and we never, ever talk about my sexuality. She's a baptist housewife who just wants her only daughter to be girly and straight like her. So she and other relatives didn't take it too well. I'm not making this about me, I'm just telling you I know where you're coming from. I strongly agree with the previous suggestion that you should wait until you are out of your parents' home to come out. It is safer in case things don't end well. They'll be fine to wait. I strongly advise against alcohol being involved in the coming out. IF you don't want to wait (which you really should), do it confidently, politely, and with a clear head. Anticipate questions they may ask and words of discouragement they'll probably throw at you. They may accept it gracefully, or they may continue to be in denial like in the pub, kick you out, or not know what to do. I'm trying to tell you to consider all of the outcomes, not trying to scare you. Its totally okay that you're not sure how to go about this. However, that is a clear sign indicating you should wait.