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Thread: Does this count? or am I fooling myself?

  1. #1
    shygrl
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    Does this count? or am I fooling myself?

    met a guy on an online video game. we bacame fast friends, but only talking if we were online/playing. A few months in and we were now friends on a social networking site. This graduated to exchanging phone numbers ( but were only limited to sending mass texts/jokes to a large group of friends).

    Anyway, 5 months later, we became boyfriend/girlfriend. Its been 6 months since becoming official. Ive heard of people finding their s.o online, but never before actually meeting. So sometimes I wonder if im being silly.

    Note:
    1. He is 20, Im 25. Although he is mature, in the working world and does not party, he lives at home with his parents ( so do I though).
    2. We talk on the phone every day without fail, give or take a day here and there.
    3. text throughout the day including pictures of eachother.
    4. webchat
    5. He has only had 2 girlfriends in his life. Both were long term/serious. I have had One serious relationship.
    6. He has joked about marrying me in the future. Not sure if hes serious though
    7. He pretty much said " i love you" a month after dating ( although he had known me 6 months by then)
    8. He had to cancel meeting me twice because he didnt have enough money ( is it really that hard to scrounge up a measly $300 ticket?)
    9. he wants to move to my homestate next year.

    So : is this a real relationship, or am i living in la la land?

  2. #2
    Nerdyjock
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    Online relationships CAN end in a real relationship. I wouldn't invest too much into this, though, until you meet in person.

    I would say more often than not, meeting people from online doesn't work out in the end. However, there is a growing number of statistics of people "meeting" online then ending up together for longterm relationships. If you feel it's right, go for it!

  3. #3
    shygrl
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    you say can END in a real relationship, right? it wont be real until we meet kind of thing? I dont think I'll actually see him in person until next year ( yikes!). I should be turning down dates cuz I have a boyfriend right? ( even though ive never met him)

  4. #4
    Nerdyjock
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    You can call it a relationship now, sure. Nobody can define what a real relationship is for you. Are you fulfilled with it? is he? if so, it's a relationship. Talk to him and see if he is on the same page. You can ask what he would do in a situation if he were asked out in real life (would he turn it down or not?). People will tell you that you can't trust him if he's online because he could be dating around, etc... but tons of people who are married don't even know if their husbands/wives are fooling around behind their back, so I say the logic fails in this case to say an online relationship isn't real.

    My advice is just to MAKE SURE you don't plan your life around this guy until you meet and make sure he is sincere and true =]

  5. #5
    ibu
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    I'm a believer in online relationships developing out of online friendships...but you can't just continue this online...at one point or another you guys have to meet.

    The thing I'm worried about here is that he cancelled meeting you...twice.

    I figure that if he really really wanted to meet you, he'd find a way to get the money. Sure, I do understand that there are circumstances that make meeting impossible for a while, but $300 for a ticket seems very reasonable.

    If you're really serious about each other, why not splitting the costs of a ticket?

    How about you going out to meet HIM? Have you talked to him about that? Is it possible at all?
    For example take some friends with you and meet him in public first to see what he's like?

  6. #6
    oldenoughtoknow
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    You've received some good advice. All I can say is you should be really, really careful with your heart and try to see this for what it is. You guys haven't met in person yet. But you're tossing around works like dating, relationship. boyfriend and girlfriend, I love you...do you see what I'm getting at? Right now, it appears you're looking at this as more than what it is.

    I'm not saying this is a disaster. I'm not saying this will never work out. I'm not saying you should end this right now. Just, please, try to step back and get some perspective on this "relationship." What would I see this as? A really nice, hopeful possibility for the future - nothing more and nothing less.

    Long distance relationships are difficult enough, even for people that HAVE met in person and DO have the means to see each other regularly. Please, don't put your life on hold over this. Please don't turn down dates with local, living, breathing guys who live right in your back yard. Hopes and dreams are great things to have in your life. But sometimes that's all they turn out to be. Please don't bet your heart and your future on a dream.

  7. #7
    sff123
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    it's real. it happens. and it can go wrong like any other relationship . also if it's hard for him to get 300 dollars why havent you visited him?

  8. #8
    shygrl
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    Well I cannot at this moment as Im about to go out of the counrty for the rest of the summer. Our window to meet was a couple months ago...
    Also, he lives with his parents as do I during the summer months ( I have my own place during school months)

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