Ask For Advice
Results 1 to 8 of 8

Thread: Just act like you don't care.

  1. #1
    evan123
    Member
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Posts
    12

    Just act like you don't care.

    I am finding that the more I act confidant, act like I am dating a few men, don't seem to eager to go out, tease, act like I don't care so much, let them bring up relationship stuff, and act totally unpredectable and mysterious the more the guy is interested.

    Whenever I act needy, talk relationship stuff, seem to really care and make myself very available the guy I am seeing gets turned off.

    It's so hard to act the first way when you truly are into someone, but sad to say I am finding that I have to or a man will loose interest. I have tested this time and time again and it is the case. Now when in an exclusive relationship it's a little bit different but somewhat the same to keep the spice going. My friends, men and women agree as well.

    Do you agree? Is this just men or women as well? Is this just the way it is and human nature working at it's best??????
    Last edited by evan123; 07-21-2010 at 12:23 PM.

  2. #2
    Esteller
    Silver Member Esteller's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    434
    Gender
    Male
    i found out that im going to be who i am. i am a sensitive guy. and i know there are things i need to work on and of course it takes time. i cant change myself to please someone else. i can work with it but thats who i am. you will find someone that will accept you and understand you for who you are. thats what i look for.

  3. #3
    lana111
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    Nyack, NY
    Posts
    1,762
    i ALWAYS think its a good idea in all aspects of life. well, not acting like you dont care... rather, in the words of vince lombardi, act like youve been there before.

    im embarassed for people who gets so excited over something it makes them look like XYZ never happened before.

    so when you go out, dont act like this is the only person in the world who desires you hahaha.

  4. #4
    Flint_Wood
    Bronze Member
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Location
    CA
    Posts
    214
    There needs to be a good balance of hot and cold, acting like you don't care is a turn off for me. But going too fast is just as bad, for either men or women.

    I've found it best to live in the moment, have fun. Don't focus on labels, don't get jealous or insecure, just enjoy the time you have together, and if it's working well, neither partner will want to leave.

  5. #5
    BriarRose
    Platinum Member BriarRose's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Posts
    7,570
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    6
    I agree with all of it. And nothing ...short of a magic potion....makes a man want you more than knowing other men are interested in you and he might lose you. Assuming he has feelings for you in the first place, of course.

  6. #6
    geekgirl4
    Platinum Member geekgirl4's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Posts
    1,497
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    2
    I think acting like you don't care might get men interested but you get the WRONG men interested. You'll get men who think you're a challenge, rather than being attracted to the person you really are. You shouldn't lay all your cards on the table either. A poster said it right, its a balance. Don't keep everything in, but don't lay it all out either. A relationship is a steady dance in getting to know each other. Too much can tip the tray and too little will leave it empty and false.

  7. #7
    sarahpuff21
    Member sarahpuff21's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Location
    California
    Age
    29
    Posts
    40
    Gender
    Female
    Funny we are talking about this in another thread "a man chases a woman until she catches him"...I think it is absolutely true. I also would say not to act like you "don't care" but it's more like doing everything that you don't want to do. Don't call, don't text, (unless they gave you their number and it's the first time you're calling them or they told you to call them), don't ask them on a date. Leave it up to them. Show the guy that you have a busy life of your own and you don't really need them. You don't want to be rude though. This is the hardest thing for me because it just feels so wrong. It takes a lot of discipline and self-control. But in the end, it's worth it.

  8. #8
    Cheetarah
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Posts
    5,059
    Thanked
    1161
    Apathy is a turn-off, a bit of mystery can be exciting. It's just human nature. All things in moderation.

  9.  

Top Threads
I Just Don't Get It
I've been seeing this guy for a few weeks now, things seemed to be going well. He lives 2 hours from me, so we've been meeting up in the
Why can't things be easy and consistent?
I started talking to a man I knew from years ago. We didn't date, we were just acquaintances. We reconnected recently and went for coffee. We both
Getting Closure
Thought I'd start a discussion on getting "closure" in our relationships; I've heard differing opinions about it and have been thinking about it a
Did I make the right decision?
Been out on 3 dates with this woman and I noticed that in between all of those dates, she never contacted me first whether it was text or phone
Would you be annoyed if...
Would you be annoyed if you were meeting up for the first time and still didn't know an exact time or location. I'm meeting him tomorrow and still
First date follow-up
Hello! So I had this great first date with a girl on Friday, I felt we had chemistry and we kissed a few times. Even though the date only lasted
Have you Ever ghosted on a date? What would you do?
Okay so there's this girl I have only been out on 2 dates with so far over the span of roughly like 5 weeks (with 2 of those weeks being one where

Expert Advice
Featured Threads
The ex that wouldn't go away
I am engaged to the woman of my dreams. After a couple dates I told everyone I was going to marry her. She told her friends the same. My only hang up
Crying
IM A 63 YEAR OLD WOMAN ,and my life has turned upside down. I cry day and night. For some damn reason I'm lost , alone and just cant figure things
SO (girl of 23) doubting our relationship, won't let go of ex
So currently going through a very complicated situation with my SO. I started seeing this girl in November of last year, while she was still with
My friend has no life...No job and currently lives at home. At nearly 30
One of my very good friends has always been the impressionable type. When I encouraged her to have stronger boundaries, to be less passive and to
Ex is getting married
Hi, I went into no contact with my ex around 14 weeks ago. I had decided that there's nothing left for me to do or say that would bring her back to
Friendless and Lonely
Hi all, I've decided to turn to an online forum for advice on a current friendship issue. I want to say thank you in advance to those who take the
Swapping childcare, she stopped responding...
Background: I struggle with intimacy and relationships in general. Coming from abuse and neglect means I've always struggled with trusting others
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •