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Trying to find a good woman in her late twenties.


KileOriginal

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I turned 27 today.

 

I've realized a few things.

 

It seems to me, that good woman tend to get taken early in their twenties.

 

All the truly amazing woman I meet are already married, and the single one's I'm either not attracted to or they have some serious issues that I just can't work around. (to be honest, the attraction thing isn't even purely visual, if a woman is fair enough, I find something about her cute and she has a good personality then I'm willing to open the door to get to know her better, but even that is hard to find)

 

I've thought about dating younger woman, but honestly, it's hard for me to connect with them. Maybe the age thing is a big deal. Its as if the things that are important to a young 22 year old girl are completely vapid and pointless to me, and the things that are important to me, make me an old man in her eyes. LoL.

 

It's hard enough to meet people my age. Meeting a good cache seems damn near impossible.

 

I work in a technical field that is almost entirely men older than me.

 

Been trying to be more involved in social things outside of work. However I find that the people I usually find at these gatherings are married couples. I feel weird as a lone single guy in a sea of married couples.

 

I don't like bars and clubs, and the women I've met there in the past are not the type of people I really want to have a relationship with.

 

There may be plenty of fish in the sea but the only one's left to catch are crabs and you're not even that close to the sea to begin with.

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I turned 27 today.

 

I've realized a few things.

 

It seems to me, that good woman tend to get taken early in their twenties.

 

All the truly amazing woman I meet are already married, and the single one's I'm either not attracted to or they have some serious issues that I just can't work around. (to be honest, the attraction thing isn't even purely visual, if a woman is fair enough, I find something about her cute and she has a good personality then I'm willing to open the door to get to know her better, but even that is hard to find)

 

All you gotta do is wait for them to get divorced.

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I turned 27 today.

 

I've realized a few things.

 

It seems to me, that good woman tend to get taken early in their twenties.

 

All the truly amazing woman I meet are already married, and the single one's I'm either not attracted to or they have some serious issues that I just can't work around. (to be honest, the attraction thing isn't even purely visual, if a woman is fair enough, I find something about her cute and she has a good personality then I'm willing to open the door to get to know her better, but even that is hard to find)

 

All you gotta do is wait for them to get divorced.

 

Yup. Or, if you're impatient, date women in the early 30's who are already divorced. BUT, make sure they had some time in their 20's to be the center of attention party girl, because if she didn't get it out of here system them, she will be now and you don't want to be around for that.

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Well, I have to say that I'm definitely not ready to date, trying to heal from the break up of a 6 year relationship. But looking to the future, I do have the same fears about meeting a good man around my age. There are good people out there, but as you say, many of them that I meet are married, or in serious relationships. I'm at the point where no one compares to my ex, and I'm way too fragile to even consider dating someone else while I am still very hung up on him.

 

But, I consider myself a good woman, and 29. I am smart, attractive, funny, have interests outside of the vapid and pointless... And hopefully my confidence is coming back. So we are out there.

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Hello KileOriginal,

 

I can sympathize with you. I am only 24 but ive always had an older way about me. I get along with older ppl much more then ppl my own age and younger. Like you i dont enjoy the bar scene, nor do i enjoy over crowded areas. most of the time i get invited out are to friends places where everybody is "taken" or their trying to set me up with a friend of theirs who, not to be mean, but is in another league then me. I just keep trying to tell myself that the right girl will be there when the time comes. All i have to do is wait and i hope the wait isnt too long.

 

Good luck my friend, the sea is vast and the right type of fish is out there....somewhere

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Have you tried E-Harmony, the relationship site? All people looking for a relationship I think should have a profile on there, it is best to put yourself out there!

 

I think looking to date women in their 30's is a good idea also.

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This is all a bit over-dramatic, I think. There are plenty of people out there in their late 20s, male and female, looking for a long-term relationship who have no serous baggage. I'm one of them. I haven't had a ton of trouble meeting women in the same category either.

 

And about dating "younger" girls, I think you need to shake this prejudice you have, because every woman is different. I've dated a 23 year old who was more mature than almost every 25+ year old I've dated. Age sometimes really is just a number, it's more about how that person was raised and what their life experiences have been.

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And about dating "younger" girls, I think you need to shake this prejudice you have, because every woman is different. I've dated a 23 year old who was more mature than almost every 25+ year old I've dated. Age sometimes really is just a number, it's more about how that person was raised and what their life experiences have been.

 

This. I'm almost 24 and I'm established in my career, live by myself, and I'm not interested in celebrity gossip and ponies and rainbows. There are younger women who have their stuff together and are mature. I've been told by folks that in terms of the way I act, I seem more like I'm in my late twenties than my early twenties.

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I think it might depend on what part of the country you live in. I'm from NYC, I'm 28 and single and I've got plenty of single friends my age (mostly "normal"), it does get more challenging to find someone the older you get, but I think that's because you're more sure of what you are looking for in another person and won't accept anything less.

 

When I was 21 I was dating left and right because I was much less selective in who I went out with...perhaps because I was just after a good time.

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Perhaps I should explain my situation more.

 

I do not want to be with a woman who already has kids, or carries alot of baggage from previous relationships (divorce does this alot) or is just crazy. I also don't want to be with a woman I'm simply not attracted to.

 

I want a woman who I can connect with, who wants to have a family, share's my basic values, is someone I can find attractive and above all is some one I actually want to be with.

 

At this point I have worked very hard to build a career with good future prospects, I've avoided or beaten bad habits like tobacco or drug use, I've kept myself in good physical shape, and I've tried to be a good person with alot of life experiences.

 

I've tried the whole eharmony thing. I felt like I was prostituting myself. The sad thing is that I was completely honest online, the people I met would literally do all the stereotypical online dating schemes. Such as posting a picture from years ago that doesn't represent what they look like now. (my picture was taken a week before I signed up for the dang thing) In the end I just did not connect with anyone I met in person and just felt cheap.

 

Going to a bar may not make you unmarriable, but the population you generally meet in the bar or club scene really is not what I'm looking for.

 

I've gone to church events which are nice and all, but there the people near me in age are all married with kids.

 

I guess if I ever will meet some one it will likely be random. I do meet people who really strike my interest but more often than not I quickly find out they're married or in a serious long term relationship.

 

Perhaps I'm being too arrogant. I just don't feel like I should be forced to settle for less when I have accomplished so much at this point in life and have so much to offer.

 

I've tried making work and research the greatest passions in my life, but I'm just not built like that. I don't want to give up on the first great dream of life just yet, the dream of family and relationship with some one I actually love and desire.

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So if you are looking for something serious, have you totally blocked out women in their early 30s as possibilities?

 

There are plenty of early 30 somethings out there who are not married, no kids - and never been married, but been in some serious relationships.

I am one of them, and we aren't such a rare species!

 

But you know, when I meet men who have the attitude of "well if she isn't taken by now, there MUST be something wrong with her" lol, it's a def. turn off.

 

Some people just weren't ready for marriage and all that in their 20s.

 

If women in their 30s is 'too old' for your preference or whatever, that is fine. But I wondered why you didn't even mention 'em in your post. It's mightly limiting that a woman needs to be so very close in age to you. (and I personally prefer men close to my own age, but why limit the possibilities too much right).

 

Maybe you have an attraction to taken women? That wouldn't be such a rare thing either.

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To Anotherday: Focusing on myself is what I've been doing. I'm tired of not having some one to really share the incredible things I've seen and experienced with. I feel like I'm building a house but their is no one to live in it.

 

To itsallgrand: I don't avoid woman in there thirties, I just don't actively seek them out. I have a dated a wonderful woman who was thirty, but for various reason it did not work. It's not like I ask a girl I'm interested in her age when we first meet.

 

I'm just making the observation that the best catches seem to get married in their early twenties, and those still single as I get older tend to have more past issues or are just not what I'm looking for. I'm not saying its hopeless, just that it is becoming increasingly difficult to meet a good woman I would want to date that is reasonably close in age or point of life development.

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like i said, none of my friends are married and we are all in our mid 20's. None of us have children.None of us are divorced. Some of us have just been unlucky with love, others arent ready for that yet. Doesn't mean that we are all used up or have issues. I really find this thread odd, because at least where I am from it is not uncommon AT ALL to not be married or have kids in late 20's.

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Definitely depends on where you are. I lived in nyc for a long time and none of my friends got married in their twenties. However, in the small state I grew up in, people did get married in their early twenties. I could have been married three times over before I was 25, and they were not the right matches for me, so I chose not to do that. I am 38 and have never been married, but I've found plenty of guys to date. I don't think all the "good" people are taken early; some actually focus on other things at that stage and there's nothing bad about that.

 

For the most part, I've found that anything in life is as difficult or as easy as you perceive it to be. If you keep telling yourself it's hard, it will be.

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OP, like other's have said. It may very well be where you live. Where I live and in most major cities in my country, women having children in their late twenties is not the norm - most are still getting established in their careers, etc.

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So where are all these late twenties girls hanging out at? Seriously where do you meet them?

 

I don't want to be cold, but maybe you are all single for a reason.

 

I do occasionally meet single woman near my age, its just there is often something that pushes me away, whether its personality, attractiveness, life goals or something that I just can't get around.

 

It honestly seems like the best woman get picked out early, and if they do become single again they are usually damaged by their past relationships.

 

That's horrible, but its the honest truth of what I see empirically.

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OP, like other's have said. It may very well be where you live. Where I live and in most major cities in my country, women having children in their late twenties is not the norm - most are still getting established in their careers, etc.

 

You have to consider we may be talking about totally different social groups. I know where I can find woman in their late twenties, but finding a woman you would actually want to marry. That's a different story.

 

You and I may look at the same person and judge their value as a life partner completely differently.

 

Perhaps for what I desire most in a woman it is a little too late and I have no choice but to either compromise my heartfelt standards or make the choice to live alone. Granted no one is making me make that choice right now, but I do not see it getting easier the older I get.

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So might you.

 

Point taken, and I have thought about this.

 

I've been in relationships the last few years, but none that really felt like they were going anywhere and I had to end them.

 

I felt like there were two people in my life I could have truly been happy with and I pretty much screwed that all up ages ago.

 

I keep looking, keep hoping. I've tried different approaches, attitudes, places and methods. It all seems so hopeless and even demeaning. Meanwhile the people I do meet seem less and less what I'm looking for.

 

Then I meet some body that totally takes my breath away and I notice them and decide I have to get to know them better. Then I figure out that they're married or engaged. Another great cache already claimed.

 

I think those last two sentences really speak to the essence of what I'm trying to say.

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I'm looking for marriage, children, etc etc. My boyfriend of 3.5 years left me because he decided that marriage and children werent for him. that was the reason. so just because i may have had previous relationships doesnt mean that I am all washed up or jaded or dont want to settle down. it just means that like you, i havn't found the right person yet. I think you need to be a little more openminded.

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So where are all these late twenties girls hanging out at? Seriously where do you meet them?

 

I don't want to be cold, but maybe you are all single for a reason.

 

I do occasionally meet single woman near my age, its just there is often something that pushes me away, whether its personality, attractiveness, life goals or something that I just can't get around.

 

It honestly seems like the best woman get picked out early, and if they do become single again they are usually damaged by their past relationships.

 

That's horrible, but its the honest truth of what I see empirically.

 

This is absolutely untrue. I think this is the reason why you're having a hard time finding what you're looking for.

 

Do you think the same way about men - that the best men are taken early, and the rest are damaged?

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So where are all these late twenties girls hanging out at? Seriously where do you meet them?

 

I don't want to be cold, but maybe you are all single for a reason.

 

It honestly seems like the best woman get picked out early, and if they do become single again they are usually damaged by their past relationships.

 

That's horrible, but its the honest truth of what I see empirically.

 

Of course we are single for a reason. In my case, I could have been married, and chose not to be. It wasn't the right situation and I was incredibly immature. I cannot imagine the mess I would have made of a family if I had gone down that road.

 

I think we need to define who the "best" women are. The twenty-something single women I knew were in a huge city working on their careers, educations, and traveling while they still had that freedom. They realized that realistically they had a very long time ahead of them for marriage and children, so they took advantage of that.

 

Do you see something intrinsically wrong with that?

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