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Thread: 6 months and no I love you

  1. #11
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    This is something that I will NEVER in my whole life, get.

    I don't know why people demand to hear it so much, or why people are so chintzy with handing them out.

    The only thing I can think of is, this guy doesn't want to be exclusive with you. To me, it is disrespectful to say that when you're boffing someone else, but "I Love You" does not mean "Will you marry me?" or even "Will you live with me?"

    But 6 months of exclusive dating? Why not? I just don't see this magic threshold between, "I like you a lot and want to be serious and exclusive with you" and "I love you." I think guys just won't say it if they aren't really into you enough to be exclusive. Surely everyone knows there's always a chance of a breakup?

  2. #12
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    Maybe I came accross wrong - but I really don't want to break off my relationship just to go sleep around on my contiki tour, I was never one for one-night stands. In fact the idea of a year off being single is appealing right now.

    I think we work better as friends rather than lovers, anyhow we're going to talk tomorrow night about it and I hope I don't end up hurting him. But I guess that's the risk you take when you enter a relationship - getting hurt/disappointed.

  3. #13
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    I understand that your feelings are hurt. Up until recently, I was in your shoes. My boyfriend told me he loved me after 1 year and a month. There were times when I felt frustrated, or wondered if he really cared at all because those words mean a lot.

    However, because he waited, I know that he means it and it wasn't said to appease me or because he felt it was what he was suppose to do. He SHOWS it and SAYS it now and it's great.

  4. #14
    Platinum Member geekgirl4's Avatar
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    Uhm, I could be wrong, but somehow I get the feeling that you're considering the single status for the contiki trip as a way to deal with the pain from not hearing I love you. Are you really thinking about singledom because you don't think it will work out or it is because it's easier to not care and drop it all?

    And everybody has different speeds in terms of the I love you. Guys are quite often either the fastest or the slowest (usually slowest). It's unfair to ditch the guy just because the only thing missing to you is the spoken "I love you". If he is awesome in every other aspect, then you are hung up on the wrong things in a relationship. Let him reach that point at his own pace.

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  6. #15
    Platinum Member uncomfynumb's Avatar
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    Yes, you are being unrealistic to expect him to love you after 6 months.

    Love is a committment. True love means I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Are you ready to spend the rest of your life with him?

    If he is worth it, he is worth waiting for? I have a feeling your trying to manipiulate this to confront your own insecurities about what he will do when you two are apart. If that is the case, then you don't have the foundation for love just yet. Remember that love is built upon trust among other things.

    Why nip it in the bud before it has a chance to grow?

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