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Thread: Getting better...but how could she move on SO fast?!

  1. #1
    scheme00
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    Getting better...but how could she move on SO fast?!

    Me and my ex broke up 2 monhts ago after a rocky 2 year relationship. Im 29, shes 20. The same night (maybe sooner) she met someone else (her age) and they got physical. 2 weeks later they were officially a couple and now they hang out like every single day and look like they are so in love its crazy. Now I know for sure she did love me while we were dating but what I dont understand is how she could just swap those feelings directly over to him. I would love to give it the "rebound" label...but each day that goes by it seems like thats not the case. We've been NC for 1.5 months...all I can do is respect they are together but it sucks so bad just wondering how the hell someone could get over us so quick. Even at her age....I showed her so much and gave her everything I could and that I have learned from past relationships. I flew us to San Francisco in March for our anniversary. I used to make her brownies and we would be happier than anything even laying in bed with no tv on just horsing around. Now he gets all that and didnt even have to work for it like i did. Jeez...

  2. #2
    jennb0benn

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    Well, it seems like she may have gotten lucky and found someone right away. I highly doubt she's completely over you...I bet she still has feelings and is using her new relationship to get over her old one. Don't beg, don't contact. Just move on and do your own thing.

  3. #3
    sunday2010
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    well it happens with my breakup from 2 montsh back he wa seeing somebody 5 weeks after the split so go figure.

    from what I've learnt they alreay have somebody lined up in the back-round usually and they don't usually leave unless theres somebdy else already..

    thats from everything I've learnt so far.And that I'm sad to say is fact usually .

    I've been through the finding out and it sucks.I just keep thinking oh well that new so and so can have him as hes stubborn, mean and uncompromising so let her deal with it and see how far they get.

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    dancingcolors
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    My guy was 57 and did the same thing. He was "involved" with some one else 2 weeks after he left me, and is still with her 15 months later. He came to look for me with her a month ago, for the first time. I don't know why really. We were together for 2 years too. Same sort of thing. We could spend 7 hours together just hanging out and it seemed like 7 minutes. I don't think the age is the reason. I don' know the reason. I just don't get it.

    I just read the post before me. I think he had her in the background too, because he met her at work. It's horrible to think that I was still with him and he was checking her out, and who know what else. He gave me a dozen red roses, a washing machine and dryer, and said I was the only one and I was in his soul, the week before he left me for her.

    And when he came to see me with her, she freaked out and ran away, so she obviously knew about me, and probably knew she was stealing him from me, when they got together, or she wouldn't have reacted like that.

    He aged really bad this year and seemed really sad, when I saw him. He said I was with him every day, so go figure.
    Last edited by dancingcolors; 07-09-2010 at 12:02 AM.

  5. #5
    Sparkly Eyes

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    She might have checked out of your relationship emotionally a long time ago. Did she break up with you? What was her reasoning? I believe if she did, she did it to get with this new guy.

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    GenoGeno
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    Yeah I never understood how your ex can get over you so fast either...I'm almost 5 months now broken up too. It sucks big time. When she broke up with me about 2 weeks later she said could you write me a letter about what would be different....I did and gave it to her. I poured my heart out into it with no avail. She seems super happy without me now and I just don't get how she moved on so fast.

  7. #7
    sunday2010
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    Quote Originally Posted by GenoGeno [Register to see the link]
    Yeah I never understood how your ex can get over you so fast either...I'm almost 5 months now broken up too. It sucks big time. When she broke up with me about 2 weeks later she said could you write me a letter about what would be different....I did and gave it to her. I poured my heart out into it with no avail. She seems super happy without me now and I just don't get how she moved on so fast.
    god that sucks.I believe thats waht happened with mine.they just have checked out earlier than you think.

  8. #8
    FootofGod
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    I feel the same and am in many ways in the same predicament. And, yeah, I actually couldn't think of a *less* deserving guy than this bloke, and to think he gets all the good stuff. I know how sweet and loving she can be and it's just so painful sometimes, not just that I don't get it anymore, but that he, of all people, gets it. And I'm sure she's happy, at least most of the time, giving all of her love to him. I already know she's spending virtually the whole day with him.

    She's got to come back here to school, up here with me, away from him. By that time it'll have been over 3 months. I have no clue what's about to happen, but when I think about it I get these weird feelings, like my intuition knows there's something underlying all this madness and all the pain. Like there's a reason it all doesn't make sense and it's going to come full circle. I try not to be hopeful, but it's just one of those thing where when you feel like you know something's up, you know it's up and you can't shake it. Usually that's a bad thing, but this one is all good. I don't know that that means we'll get back together or anything like that, it's just this feeling that things are going to come full-circle, complete themselves, and I'm finally going to get what I need.

    I'm crying right now. It's just so weird, and knowing people are going through the same thing. And I just watched something that was very emotional and it hit me deep - season finale of a show I love. Big separation of characters.

  9. #9
    peanutbutterandjelly
    Gold Member peanutbutterandjelly's Avatar
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    a couple of things could be happening...

    ... she could have checked out of the relationship a long time ago and was ready to move on

    .... she could have been eyeing him while you were still together and left because she thought the grass was greener

    ... she could be rebounding and using him to get over you.

    ... she could have waited to have another guy inline before she broke up with you so she wouldnt have to feel lonely and single.

    my ex was with a new girl 2 DAYS after he broke up with me and is still with her 8 months later. I have no idea which of these things was true, but i think it was a combination.

    either way though, she's not over the breakup instantly. even if she checked out a long time ago, she is more than likely in some kind of pain. some people will do anything not to be alone.

  10. #10
    Carus
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    I guess I'll add my name to this list, just so we all know that we are not alone and this is not an isolated incident....

    For me it was so fast...After 3 years together I got "I dont love you anymore, I love him>>>".....and off they went......Still together a year+ later now too...

    So please dont put too much creedence in the Rebound Theory...I held onto that for wayyy too long*.....

    But in life there is good and bad...This is obviously bad, but yep, it happens*

    And lastly, the posters here are correct. They have been secretly doubting the RS for a while before we even find out about it....Ergo, its a massive shock for us, but not for them....They seemed to have moved on so quickly because they were already moving before they left....

    And if your beating yourself up thinking that they are joyfully happy in their new RS, think again. ALL relationships go through 5 stages. The first one being that honey coated Honeymoon Stage*

    Stay Strong Everyone.....We have something they do not: A great support network here at ENA*

    Kalgan*
    Last edited by Carus; 07-09-2010 at 07:24 AM.

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