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Thread: What does it mean when an ex contacts you out of the blue?

  1. #1
    Traveler27
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    What does it mean when an ex contacts you out of the blue?

    Just as the title asks: what do you think are some of the possible reasons why an ex-boyfriend/girlfriend suddenly contacts you after a prolonged period of no contact after a break-up?

    My ex-boyfriend just sent me a random text message out of nowhere last night and I have ignored it, but obviously it is bothering me. Why do they do it? Is it manipulation? What motivates them to reach out after so much time has passed? I am tempted to reply, but he hurt me quite badly and I think he must just be bored or lonely. What are others thoughts on this topic?

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    ElleB
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    Ha, if we knew that we'd not be on this forum.
    What did the text say? How long has it been since you heard from him, and since your break up?

    I have yet to have my ex "reach out" as it were, but I would imagine feeling both elated and bloody pissed off. Hard to know what their intentions are... friendship, guilt alleviation, reconciliation, boredom, loneliness... who knows!

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    pumpkinmoon
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    What did the message say?

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    BriarRose
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    Usually because someone just dumped them.

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    Traveler27
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    Quote Originally Posted by ElleB [Register to see the link]
    Ha, if we knew that we'd not be on this forum.
    What did the text say? How long has it been since you heard from him, and since your break up?

    I have yet to have my ex "reach out" as it were, but I would imagine feeling both elated and bloody pissed off. Hard to know what their intentions are... friendship, guilt alleviation, reconciliation, boredom, loneliness... who knows!
    Precisely. I do feel elated and pissed off both at once -- mostly pissed off though. It feels like an annoyance more than anything. It's been about 4 1/2 months since break-up and there has been no contact since then, however, it was only a 2 month relationship that moved very quickly and got quite intense emotionally and physically speaking. I deleted his number shortly after break-up, but obviously he kept mine. This is screwing with my head now.

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    Traveler27
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    Quote Originally Posted by Misskitty16 [Register to see the link]
    Usually because someone just dumped them.
    This makes sense as well....

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    Traveler27
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    Quote Originally Posted by theshoefairy [Register to see the link]
    What did the message say?
    It said: "Hey hope you are ok? Sorry x"

    And he added a sad face as well manipulation?

  8. #8
    Cheetarah
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    Sadly, it is usually because they were just dumped. I've got an ex that does this everytime he's single. E-mails about how we had this special 'connection' and a lot of other phony sentimental crap. Sometimes I read, sometimes I delete. I never respond. I never felt elated more like..."Ugh...you again?"

    And I have to admit, I have done it for that very reason. Newly single, vulnerable, just plain old reaching for something familiar.

  9. #9
    pumpkinmoon
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    It's hard to tell what he is feeling or what he wants from you. Possibly loneliness, looking for someone to talk to, guilt, trying to open communication again for some reason.

    How do you feel? Are you over it? Do you want him back?

    Why did you break up?

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    ElleB
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    Haha, "ugh, you again" ... bout right!

    People think of and use others as safety nets and it's so not cool. I'm really trying not to do that now because of how it feels.

    Exes can be such eejuts can't they?

    What time was the text sent..? Might he have been drunk? I honestly think if they want reconciliation they oughtta put more effort in .... Other than that it's like, a fly buzzing around, annoying.

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