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My girlfriend gets mad at me too often...


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I've been with my girlfriend over a year now and it seems like she's changing on me. She became an over sensitive girl that snaps so easily. I cannot argue or disagree with her. I tend to think twice before I say anything. I've become kinda scared of her. Soo f***ed up. Whenever she gets pissed at me, to me, seems like the dumbest reasons. I'm not an idiot. I'm a very easy going guy and I know how to treat a woman. And i've told her so many times that she shouldn't take everything so personaly because I'm only human, my tone or choice of words aren't always the best.

She kinda treats me like she would her mother or brother when I do everything I can to make her happy. Whenever I treat someone this way it's because I'm sick of them. Anything they say or do gets under my skin. It's normal. So I asked her if she's unhappy with me. She said no and that I'm the best thing that ever happened to her. I understand why she can't think before she gets upset and realize that I'm not a jerk, I love her and I'm "the best thing that ever happened to her" !!!

I don't want to break up with her. I just want her to be the girl I fell in love with.

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You may need to toughen up a little more. There's nothing wrong with being a nice guy but only if she doesnt mistake your kindness for weakness. She can only get away with as much as you let her. You need to put your foot down and demand that she treats you with a little more respect and tact. A man should never be scared of his girl.

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You may need to toughen up a little more. There's nothing wrong with being a nice guy but only if she doesnt mistake your kindness for weakness. She can only get away with as much as you let her. You need to put your foot down and demand that she treats you with a little more respect and tact. A man should never be scared of his girl.

 

I agree. It doesn't sound like she has a lot of respect for you. Stand your ground.

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Once I started walking on eggshells with one of my former girlfriends, it was over. I was that classic "nice guy" with her and she started taking advantage. I had to end it to save myself.

 

Several other posters are right, don't let her take advantage of you and stop doing everything you can to make her happy. It is her job to make her happy!

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have you mentioned to her that she seems to have grown a short temper with you?

 

Yeah I have. I also told her that I feel like I need to monitor what I say to her. She said she doesn't want you me to feel this way and she'll make an effort. She also said that she can't help it when something's bothering her. But there's a way of dealing with it with someone you love. She shouldn't get nasty and make me feel like she hates me.

 

When these things happen, I honestly just want to tell her to f*ck off and leave. But will this make things worse or will it show her that she's crazy and she'll lose me if she doesn't change?

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Looks like she talks down to you. Man up and tell her she needs to show some respect like how you show her respect. You should not walk on eggshells around her.

 

Yeah I know, I'll try that next time.

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Next time she snaps at you, say in the most angriest-but-not-yelling tone possible, "That's it. I've had enough of this BS. You need to fix that behavior or we need to break up." And with that, get up to go home and tell her while you leave, "Don't call me, I'll call you in a few days."

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Next time she snaps at you, say in the most angriest-but-not-yelling tone possible, "That's it. I've had enough of this BS. You need to fix that behavior or we need to break up." And with that, get up to go home and tell her while you leave, "Don't call me, I'll call you in a few days."

 

Sounds good...

Thanks

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This is hard to assess. Do you have a couple of examples?

 

The other day I was at a gas station and I picked up a chocolate bar before paying. My girlfriend was outside in the car and I showed her the one I chose. She was trying to tell me which one to get and I refused in a teasing way and starting to play with the candy bar as if it was my penis. She was laughing and found it amusing. Then I opened the door and she opened the car window and I said what the f do you want. But it was all in fun, I said it with a smile. She said forget it and closed the window. She got mad at me for saying that.

 

Another incident happened when I had to pick her up at the train station. It was cold and raining and I was running late because I was busy at work. I rushed out as soon as I could. She told me that she was inside the entrance of a building near the station and gave me the name of the company. I couldn't see the name from the direction I was coming from and it was raining too. I ended up parking next to the station so she had too walk about 50 yards in the rain to my car. She got in all pissed off and pointed at the name of the building as if I was an idiot. I explained to her that I couldn't see it. Then I said, " am you not hear, are you not in my car, isn't everything ok??" Huge explosions... I got angry and raised my voice a little. I told her the she was ungrateful and she treats me like sh*t when I would do anything for her.

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You have got to accept that you have a role to play here.... She will act her you allow her to.... If you never walk away and say enough.! she wont stop... but moreso.... treading on eggshells is rship suicide. I know from experience. tell it like it is and you'll see her true colours. she is obviously the one with the problem about said things.... not you.. dont carry her baggage. throw it right back on her and yeah....... man up.... you dont need ot be cocky... just dont tread on eggshells.... and if she is acting like a child maybe sit her down and talk about it calmly.. you catch more flies with honey than you do with vinigar...

and sadly...lastly... best thing might be to give her the old heeve ho.......... if she really giveing you the *****.

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So, when she got mad at you for the first incident, how mad was she?

 

For the second incident, define huge explosion. Did she yell at you? How late where you? When you saw her, why didn't you bring the car around?

 

I'm not blaming you at all .. I'm trying to get a better picture of the situation.

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I wouldn't like it if my husband said "what the F do you want" to me either. Even if he was being sarcastic. Some people just don't like being talked to that way, like they're you buddy and nothing more. I wouldn't get angry, I just wouldn't like it. Her reaction did sound a bit over the top.

 

I really think this could be a case to case thing. There might be times that she over-reacts, but if you've told yourself enough that she always over-reacts and and you've done nothing wrong, than thats how you will read/see everything. Whether that's the case or not. It's like having sh** goggles on. Im not saying she doesn't over-react, I don't know, Im not there, just be careful to not over simplify it.

 

Another thought, Is it possible that she's feeling over stressed about something that has nothing to do with you? I know I can get a little lippy when Im stressed. It's not an excuse. But sometimes it's what triggers these behaviours.

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So, when she got mad at you for the first incident, how mad was she?

 

For the second incident, define huge explosion. Did she yell at you? How late where you? When you saw her, why didn't you bring the car around?

 

I'm not blaming you at all .. I'm trying to get a better picture of the situation.

 

She didn't talk to me for about 15 minutes of the drive. Then I palmed her leg and said "common i was kidding baby" and pulled her toward me for a kiss.

 

With her, huge explosion to me is when she doesn't talk, gives me nasty looks. She didn't yell. I was about 15 minutes late. I couldn't bring the car around because there's heavy traffic in that area. It would have taken so much longer for me to go pick her up for that point. She had to walk to little in the rain. It didn't seem like such a big deal to me since Iv'e picked her up so many other times.

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She didn't talk to me for about 15 minutes of the drive. Then I palmed her leg and said "common i was kidding baby" and pulled her toward me for a kiss.

 

With her, huge explosion to me is when she doesn't talk, gives me nasty looks. She didn't yell. I was about 15 minutes late. I couldn't bring the car around because there's heavy traffic in that area. It would have taken so much longer for me to go pick her up for that point. She had to walk to little in the rain. It didn't seem like such a big deal to me since Iv'e picked her up so many other times.

 

Ok, I think now that you have explained the context, I have a little more empathy for her feelings. I think for one thing, you need to recognize her relational pattern is to grow silent when she's upset. That is not likely going to change anytime soon.

 

I think my suggestion would be to be sensitive to her sensibilities whilst still respecting yourself. If she's mad, give her time. Maybe give her 10 minutes or so and then start talking: "I notice that you seem upset, perhaps about me being late. I was tied up at work and xyz. I hope that you can understand and appreciate the fact I came here to get you despite the difficulties." Standing up for yourself doesn't mean she can't get silent. I suspect it's likely her way to deal with or process her feelings.

 

Telling her not to get mad won't make her not mad. What if I were to tell you that you shouldn't tell off-color jokes or be late? It's going to happen. But I think if you can learn to incorporate these things better into your relationship, you are going to feel happier.

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