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Thread: My boyfriend and I got into a fight and now he's ignoring me. What do I do?

  1. #1
    Bronze Member Sweetkisses22's Avatar
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    My boyfriend and I got into a fight and now he's ignoring me. What do I do?

    I really don't understand my boyfriend sometimes. We're doing the long distance thing and it seems like it's causing us to fight a lot. Yesterday we were on the phone trying to figure out how to pay for the hotel we wanted to stay in. There was a problem with the payment because we were both going half. Anyway he origionally was able to get us this nice hotel very cheap with his connections because he knew the guy. Well since we were having such a hard time trying to figure out the payment I tried to make light of the situation by saying "what happened baby, I thought you had connections." I said it laughing but in a sarcastic funny way just so he'd lighten up. He FLIPPED out on me saying never to say that when he was the one who got us the hotel and blah blah. I kept telling him I only said it as a joke which I did and he said I'm a liar and that I meant it!

    I don't understand how he even took it that way! I was clearly joking and he just is too serious sometimes! So we got into this big fight and he said he had to go take a shower (an excuse to get off the phone with me). So I got mad and said "okay bye" and I hung up.

    Well I let about 3 hours go by so that we could let off some steam because I HATE fighting with him, I love him. So I call him, he doesnt answer. I wait another 4 hours, I call him again..doesn't answer. I left him a message saying "baby call me back I miss you." This way he knows I wasn't calling to fight. Never called back! So this morning I text him saying whats his problem that he's being so stubborn ignoring me acting like a child. And all I want to do is fix this. He never responds. Then I called him an hour later, doesnt pick up. I text him saying to just talk to me and stop being like this. Doesnt answer! Then I called him 4 hours later STILL DOESNT ANSWER. I told him that i love him and want to fix this and to please call. That is the first time ive ever told him I loved him! He's said it to me before but this is the first time ive said it. And guess what..STILL DOESNT ANSWER.

    At this point, I just give up. What do you think this means? Whenever we get into fights he always ignores me like this and it makes me so upset because i never do this to him ever. I think it's so disrespectful. If he doesn't want to be with me tell me don't just get up and leave with no word. ESPECIALLY when we are in a LDR so I have no idea whats going on.

    What do I do??

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Sanesoul's Avatar
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    I'd say to back off until he contacts you.

    The ball is in his court.

  3. #3

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    Send a text that says "I guess this means you don't want to make this trip work, so I'm going to do XYZ, maybe we can figure something else out for another time." The key is actually finding something else to do with your time.

    Personally, I think you should just end it though. If he's always like this, and you won't be in the same place anytime soon, it's better to just save yourself the torture, and maybe you can try again when you're closer.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member TechResQ's Avatar
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    He sounds VERY immature. I would just not call him anymore. It he can pick up his bottom lip off the floor and stop pouting and act in a mature way, then talk to him, otherwise, I would just let it go and NOT call him anymore. Let him call you.

    Sorry this happened, I know how frustrating it can be.

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  6. #5
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    I think usually, when people blow up over little things like this, there is something much bigger lurking underneath.

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    I had an ex do this to me over and over... and over. It would greatly upset me, as it is upsetting to have you SO do this to you, however it is a complete power trip and form of emotional abuse...

  8. #7
    Platinum Member savignon's Avatar
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    I agree with digger that this is a power trip. In order to regain some equality and maintain your dignity, I'd express your hurt and let him know that the next silent treatment will be permanent. It's immature, disrespectful and a game. Don't play.

  9. #8
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    In situations like this, people can have a hard time understanding it as a joke- it doesn't make either of you right or wrong.

    Next time his feelings get hurtlike this, when you are joking and he is taking it too serious, try apologisig for hurting his feelings but DONT feel the need to apologise for joking.

    By apologizing for hurting his feelings, you will accomplish a few things. First, you'll be comforting him WITHOUT sacrificing your sense of humor or your pride (since you didn't do anything wrong by joking, no need to apologise or that). Also, by doing this, I think it's a back door route to making him calm down. You see, if he is offended and you insist it was just a joke, he may think you're saying he's wrong for being hurt- you don't want him to feel there is a right or wong, you just want him to know you didn't mean itthat way.

  10. #9
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    I also wanted to add to my response that his silent treatment is definitely very childish and immature. My response was more preventitive than it was solving of the silent issue. My apologies

  11. #10
    Member BeatinMyHeart's Avatar
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    Give him space. You have done more then what you should have done.
    if he truly cares for you, then he needs to get oveer this. It seems like his action may stem from something more, something built up. Once he talks to you, sort it out. See if there is anything else bothering him. But for now, leave him be.

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