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Thread: "It wasn't meant to be"

  1. #1
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    "It wasn't meant to be"

    Am I the only one who gets annoyed at that statement.

    Why do people say it wasn't meant to be? Surely it was meant to be for a while?

  2. #2
    Silver Member MalibuOne's Avatar
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    I've always hated that phrase too. I think people somehow abdicate responsibility for what they themselves might have done to impact the relationship when they say stuff like that. Or sometimes people say it to other people to try to lessen their sadness. To me, it's almost as bad as "there's other fish in the sea." Duh! I know that, but I wanted that particular one!!

  3. #3
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    I hate "it wasn't meant to be." It's annoying and doesn't make any sense. Is anything really meant to be? I mean, come on. 100 years ago people got married young and usually never dared divorce. Were they all meant to be?

  4. #4
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    Yeah, it annoys me too.

    People say it as a way to get you to move on. If it "wasn't meant to be," then you can just move on and stop thinking about them because some cosmic force doesn't want you to be together. It implies that someone/something has set out a plan for you, so you shouldn't really worry about anything. This very much conflicts with my beliefs and human nature, so I just nod and smile whenever I hear that.

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  6. #5

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    I suppose I've always taken it more as trying to say that it's okay to move on because if you're at this point then you obviously weren't right for each other, therefore it's better off not being, rather than hanging on to something that's dying because you hope that person is the one - but if they were the one, you probably wouldn't have broken up.

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    Do you hate it because of the inherent truth of it?

  8. #7
    Platinum Member lavenderdove's Avatar
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    People always feel awkward around death, breakups, really bad news when something bad happens to someone else, and they don't know what to say, because really, sometimes there is nothing to say other than i'm sorry that happened.

    So they come up with phrases like that to try to make you feel better, but it doens't usually work. So they are just social stock phrases like, sorry for your loss, or don't worry you'll find someone else or he/she wasn't worth it etc. They have to say something when confronted with your pain and loss, so those things pop to mind.

    It can be annoying to hear, but they are usually said with the best of intentions (i.e., the person is trying to make you feel better or minimize your loss).

  9. #8
    Platinum Member CatsMeeoow's Avatar
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    You know there is no magic words to say when you've had your heart broken... would you rather your caring friends say "suck it up and deal?"

    I think the phrase "it wasn't meant to be" when it comes from a really good friend who loves you is = I'm really sorry you are hurting so much, I really have no way to make it better but know I'm on your side... I'm here and maybe its really best that that person isn't anymore... at least for now. I don't have better words to say than that. I know it doesn't make it better but I haven't left you.

    Appreciate that someone took the time to acknowledge that right now you are so unhappy about things. Appreciate you have someone to be there with you.

    Don't knock what was actually said... not everyone has away with words but I can assure you that is a better statement than... "well he was hoping he'd find better than you..."

  10. #9
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    i don't think there is such a thing as "meant to be"
    you can make any healthy non-abusive relationship work but you have to be willing to put EFFORT into it.

    people give up too easily

  11. #10
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    Originally Posted by hmmwhoknows
    I hate "it wasn't meant to be." It's annoying and doesn't make any sense. Is anything really meant to be? I mean, come on. 100 years ago people got married young and usually never dared divorce. Were they all meant to be?
    hahah i love you

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