Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 4 of 4 FirstFirst 1234
Results 31 to 38 of 38

Thread: "It wasn't meant to be"

  1. #31
    Member Aleina's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Location
    Bruxelles
    Posts
    10
    Gender
    Female
    It makes me furious too. What is actually means is that the dumper no longer wants (the relationship) to be..

  2. #32
    Platinum Member Hermes's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Location
    Ireland
    Posts
    5,497
    Gender
    Female
    Stu:

    First of all let me say I am no cynic, but I don't permanently wear the rose-coloured spactacles either!

    I mean people get married, and live happily ever after right?
    Of course they do, no one said otherwise. Many people make happy marriages, many do not.
    The decisions we make today, this minute, do configure the outcome of the "tomorrow". But, in relationships, what can seem like a right decision at the time, may well prove to be a "bad" (inappropriate) decision.


    H

  3. #33
    Platinum Member Hermes's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Location
    Ireland
    Posts
    5,497
    Gender
    Female
    HMWK:

    Chance is the main factor in so many situations.
    Quite so. Same thing, just expressed differently.

    H

  4. #34
    Platinum Member Hermes's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Location
    Ireland
    Posts
    5,497
    Gender
    Female
    link removed

  5.  

  6. #35
    Bronze Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Location
    UK
    Age
    45
    Posts
    264
    Gender
    Male
    I think we may be going off topic here a wee bit, but nevermind!

    Aleina, they are horrible words to hear, but bear in mind that the person saying them may not be great at communicating and they are trying to let someone down gently. It is cliched, but what it means is the person no longer wants to be in the relationship, doesn't feel it's working and therefore thinks it should come to an end. It is more than likely not the real reason for the split. The thing is, would you like to be in a relationship in which the other person just isn't that into you? In one sentence my ex said "maybe some things just weren't meant to be", in the next "we could've had something good, but lost it / missed it" and "I think we had a window and we missed it" and "we ticked all the right boxes, we just didn't make it work" and "Even though we've only known each other a short time, I feel as though I've known you for years". Her words, not mine.

    Hermes, I reckon I used to be a cynic, as I'm 36 now, have never had a SO or a LTR. Not to say I've not done my fair share of dating, I just haven't met anyone that absolutely rocks my world like she did. So I'm no longer a cynic. I do believe there is "the one", but not the only one on the whole planet who we are destined to be with, but "the one" out of all the people you have met so far, or people you are likely to meet, due to where you live, your social life, and your chances of meeting suitable people.

    Another example of why "we just aren't meant to be" is a load of baloney is the way we met. It was online, I'd been on 3 dates in the previous 10 days, none of which floated my boat, and I was feeling a bit deflated by the whole thing, and almost cancelled our first date through apathy. But I CHOSE to go along, and the rest is history, just like I CHOSE not to call her while she was on holiday as I thought absence would make the heart grow fonder. She CHOSE to stop fighting for us, hence the breakup. This has nothing to do with things being "meant to be". I even think a break of a few weeks rather than a breakup could've healed any problems.

    I think I've actually forgotten the point I'm trying to make here to be honest!

  7. #36
    Platinum Member Hermes's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Location
    Ireland
    Posts
    5,497
    Gender
    Female
    I think I've actually forgotten the point I'm trying to make here to be honest!
    Don't worry Stu. You and me both! Must be that "intellectual laziness" someone above mentioned LOL.

    H

  8. #37
    Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Posts
    38
    My dear fellow sufferers and Brownstone,

    You can 'work at it' all you want, you can 'make the right decisions', but 'it takes 2 to tango'. Sorry,another cliche. Looks like our beloveds do not want 'to work at it' and they made their decisions.

    If they loved us, we would not be here. People died for love, sacrificed everything for love - I am sure all of us here would. So, let's stop finding excuses.

    Earlier in this thread, DIGG was talking 'compatibility'.... this elusive thing that makes us want some and not others. That elusive thing cannot be 'worked on'.

    The key to all of us continuing living is to realise it. It will take a lot of heartache and pain to accept it. We know we are doing ok, when we can hear these unpleasant cliches with only a touch of sadness.

    As you can see from the date, I have been at it longer than most of you and I guess I being a little cruel.... take your time. I really do wish us all speedy recovery - it's a hell of a hole to get out of.

  9. #38
    Member Aleina's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Location
    Bruxelles
    Posts
    10
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by stu1973
    Aleina, they are horrible words to hear, but bear in mind that the person saying them may not be great at communicating and they are trying to let someone down gently. It is cliched, but what it means is the person no longer wants to be in the relationship, doesn't feel it's working and therefore thinks it should come to an end. It is more than likely not the real reason for the split. The thing is, would you like to be in a relationship in which the other person just isn't that into you?
    Stu

    I see what you mean and I completely agree. It seems like it's no one's fault really, just such is life. When all has been said and done, the only thing that matters is that the other person no longers want to be in a relationship with me. Although a part of me does not like/agree with this, the other fully realises that the issue is totally out of my control. I read somewhere that love is not a democratic thing, the break-up is not up for discussion, it simply is and one has to accept it.

Page 4 of 4 FirstFirst 1234

Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •