Ask For Advice
Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 23

Thread: I haven't been on a date in a year

  1. #1
    lady00
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Age
    32
    Posts
    9,498
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    14

    I haven't been on a date in a year

    The year just kind of...flew by. So much has happened in the past year, so many transitions in my life. I just realized recently that I have not been on a single date this entire time. It's almost like that part of myself has been turned off as I've been trying to figure out other aspects of my life. And the weird thing (for me) is...I don't miss it. I've always been concerned (since high school) about finding "the one," getting married and having kids. If you met me in high school I would have insisted that I would meet my husband in college, get married at 26 (my age now) and have a child on the way. I feel weirdly not like a full person sometimes because this whole part of my life is non-existent and for the first time I really don't care. On a Friday or Saturday night, I'd rather watch tv by myself than go on a date. If I get a free weekend, I'd rather go for a walk alone. I don't have any revelations to share. I didn't really have an "aha" moment out of all this. I just find it all a little bit curious.

  2. #2
    littlestar
    Platinum Member littlestar's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    Somewhere in the world.
    Age
    33
    Posts
    3,572
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    2
    You are a full person and you are whole as you are. People make the big mistake thinking they NEED someone in their lives to make them whole, this is so untrue and a trap to many people fall into.

  3. #3
    Jetta
    Platinum Member Jetta's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Location
    The lovely Midwest
    Posts
    4,913
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    42
    Well we all go through periods in our life where guys take a back seat, but you're realization means they're about to move into priority status. You're getting older, you need to think about settling down and finding the one. Maybe you got burned and needed time to heal but it's time to open yourself back up to dating. Get out there, before it's too late to have kids. It takes about 2-3 years to build a relationship, a good solid one so the time is now.

  4. #4
    Crazyaboutdogs
    Platinum Member Crazyaboutdogs's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    Canada
    Age
    53
    Posts
    25,673
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    20
    There is nothing wrong with feeling like that. I think society pushes this whole notion of being coupled up so that people feel like they have to put themselves out there. There is nothing wrong with not wanting to date and just wanting to focus on other things in your life. When you are ready to get back into it you will..be it a few months from now, another year from now or whenever.

  5. #5
    orchidrose
    Platinum Member orchidrose's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Location
    USA
    Age
    30
    Posts
    2,285
    Gender
    Female
    I'm kind of hitting this point, too, and honestly, it feels great. It's timed out that I've been on about a date every three months or so since I broke up with my last boyfriend. Nothing's panned out, and after every date, I'm kind of thankful that's the case. I like spending time with me. I like investing all of my time and energy into making myself a better person and doing things I enjoy.

  6. #6
    annie24
    Super Moderator annie24's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Age
    36
    Posts
    46,163
    Thanked
    1332
    i felt like that too until a week ago. i had no intention of dating. then i went to a birthday party of a female friend, where i met this fabulous gay man, who took me to another party, where i wound up meeting a straight man i now have a crush on, lol. I think just keep your options open, and hang out with people.

  7. #7
    BellaDonna
    Platinum Member BellaDonna's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Location
    U.S.
    Posts
    9,139
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    16
    On a Friday or Saturday night, I'd rather watch tv by myself than go on a date. If I get a free weekend, I'd rather go for a walk alone. I don't have any revelations to share. I didn't really have an "aha" moment out of all this. I just find it all a little bit curious.
    Hi lady00. I think it is completely normal to feel what you are feeling. Your job seems to be taking up so much of your energy these days that you probably just want to use your free time for yourself, to relax.

    Aside from dating, just be careful not to socially isolate yourself (in general) too much. Are you finding that you spend less time than you used to with friends and family as well?

  8. #8
    Go Habs Go

    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Age
    28
    Posts
    647
    It's been about a year since I've been on a date myself. It doesn't bother me.

  9. #9
    renaissancewoman101
    Platinum Member renaissancewoman101's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    the land by the sea
    Age
    43
    Posts
    10,365
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    18
    I haven't gone on a date in over a year and it doesn't really faze me any more. I do eventually want to date but it isn't high on my priorities right now. Since I lost my job, besides job hunting, I have also concentrated on improving my life by working out and losing weight.

    I think I will be ready to date when feel more comfortable about myself and my looks.

    Eventually, you will get to a point though, that you want to meet a guy. Remember, when you are happiest with yourself, is when a guy usually shows up in your life.

  10. #10
    BriarRose
    Platinum Member BriarRose's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Posts
    7,570
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    6
    Quote Originally Posted by Jetta [Register to see the link]
    Well we all go through periods in our life where guys take a back seat, but you're realization means they're about to move into priority status. You're getting older, you need to think about settling down and finding the one. Maybe you got burned and needed time to heal but it's time to open yourself back up to dating. Get out there, before it's too late to have kids. It takes about 2-3 years to build a relationship, a good solid one so the time is now.
    I agree with this. While I completely understand not wanting to be out there, let me tell you the time flies. Don't let it fly for too many years. I mean, if you want to be alone, that's fine - but if you feel that one day you would like to have a partner, don't get stuck in a rut where you completely stop going out. That's all I mean.

  11.  

Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Top Threads
Met a girl on POF last night and was turned off by this question
We chatted online for a bit and then exchanged phone numbers. Then we talked for the first time last night and it was something about this question
Dating a guy but so far no sex - is it normal?
Some of you may know the beginning of this story with the climbing guy. Now it's been date .. 6. We spent both Christmas eve and a Christmas day
He asked if I've ever been abused!
So this is a continuation of a previous thread I posted. A brief background is that I met a guy last month and he seemed to be rushing our
He doesn't want a relationship, but wants to keep dating
So I've been going on dates with this guy for 7 months. I'm 28, he's 29. To give some background, we both have very intense jobs & personal
I have a date! First in four years I can explain!
So I know, I know! The last thread was about taking myself out of the dating scene. I just feel like I need to meet people and get out there. It's
Most embarrassing thing EVER
So I just started seeing someone. ... he came for a sleep over for the first time. I took a shower before bed. And went pee before l showed....I'm on
Question about OLD etiquette
I'm a male, 39, who has been participating in the world of OLD for the first time in my life for the past couple of months. I got my heart broken

Expert Advice
Featured Threads
Why don't guys express themselves
I just want an understanding as to why a guy will hold in all or majority of their emotions and feelings when it comes to their girlfriends... Not
Part 2
Apparently I am rife with confusion over this gentleman. So he and I had a perfect date yesterday. We have a great amount in common, and our
Tinder is making me hate women
I thought I'd set up a Tinder account again. This time I tried to take better photos, with my face clearly shown, with myself at a party, and a photo
Kissing
Why does my boyfriend kiss me with his eyes open?
Resentment towards bf..
Lately I have been struggling with wanting to have a healthy relationship with my partner however things in the past are constantly being brought up
Boyfriend of 3 years had been sleeping with escorts and going on dates
I've always had an unexplainable feeling that my boyfriend might be unfaithful but I always chalked that up to my own insecurities. I know it's
Is there a future?
I'm 22 and about to enter my PhD at an Ivey league University. I've been dating the most patient, understanding, affectionate, funny, and adoring man
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •