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Thread: She cheated on me and we have a child

  1. #1
    Butchannon
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    She cheated on me and we have a child

    Hello,

    here is my story... I found out about 5 months ago that my girlfriend cheated on me in the beginning of our relationship. I found her chat history on MSN where it was described what she had been doing with boys. She also took her naked pictures and sent them to other boys and she had webcam sex also. We have been together for about 2 years now and we had a beautiful daughter of 8 months old. She had sexual intercourses with a couple of guys for at least 6 months in the beginning of our relationship. I think that this time was even longer. Yes, it is true that we were not seeing each other often but I think that there is no excuse for affairs.

    So, after 6 months of dating we move in into appartment which I have rented. I have to drive 5 hours a day to work in both directions because I rented appartment in the city in which she studied. She said that after that time when we moved in she had no more affairs. Then she got pregnant and when the baby was born in September 2009 I took parenting holiday to help her so she could study.

    All this time went well till December 2009 when I found out all that stuff. We were at her parents' place that time. I lost my mind, I didn't even knew if the child is mine so I told her to take her things out of our appartment. She took her things and went to her parents then things began to complicate. I came next day when I calmed down to her parents place to solve the problem. But her father said that I have only 10 minutes left to see my child and then I had to go out of their house. He didn't want to listen to me of about his daughter has done to me. The very next day they filled the form for aliments and custody issues. They didn't wanna talk to me at all.

    So then I made a paternity test and tnx god the daughter is mine but I can see her for only couple of hours one day a week. When I come to see her every week to their place, nobody wants to talk to me, they ignore me. I tried to apologize but it didn't work, they didn't wan't to reconcile. They said to me that I didn't have to react impulsively and that I should talk to her. But she didn't want to confess her affairs in the beginning even she knew that I had a proof. She confessed a day later.

    So, when I am at their place, nobody talks to me except GF and her father who come to me to say hello. Her mother doesn't talk to me at all. My GF wants to reconcile but she is afraid of her parents so she told me to give their parents some time to calm down. We hear each other every day by phone and we are in some sort of relationship each week. But she has started to look for another guys on net again. She said that this is just for fun... But it hurts after all she and her parents have done to me. I can't go back to my work cause my holiday should last till August. So I lost my income... I want to reconcile with all, I have waited for them for 5 months already now, don't know what to do... I think I could forgive her affairs cause I love her and we could start over so our daughter will have both parents... Don't know why they treat me like a junk.. I come to their place every week to see my daughter and I bring her things that she needs... Don't know what to do, now I have feeling that this is all my fault... Don't know why they don't wanna talk to me and solve a problem?

  2. #2
    DN

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    It absolutely is not your fault and you did the right thing in getting a paternity test. Now you should get a lawyer to sort out better visitation rights to your daugher - ask for joint custody.

  3. #3
    OptomisticGirl
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    Don't apologize to them. You are her father, you weren't the one who cheated. Get a lawyer and sue for joint custody. Do not get back together with her if she is already looking again.

  4. #4
    In the Dark
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    Pisses me off when parents back up their children even though they are the guilty party.

    Just like when you are made to feel bad when it is their fault but this time even their parents are in on it.

    I would not take the side of my own child if they were the guilty ones.

    NO ONE!
    Should ever be made to feel like they are the ones who ruined the relationship.

    For what it's worth you are in the right and they are all in the wrong.

  5. #5
    Butchannon
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    Do you think there is a possibility her parents will get over it?

  6. #6
    Butchannon
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    I think that I overreacted

  7. #7
    In the Dark
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    Some parents will believe their child and or even take their child's side regardless if they are the ones who crapped in the nest or not.

    Some will even take their child's side just so their child will not hate them and disown them.

    I know for sure ^ is a possibility because I have been through it.

    I would not count on her parents taking your favor until you get the opportunity to talk with them rationally.

    That's if they will.The only way you can do that is test the waters with them.
    Hear what they have heard then here what they have to say.
    To see if their actions are down to what your ex said or just to take their child's side.

    If it's the latter you will not have a chance to explain or negotiate.

    No one is able to negotiate with people who do not listen to reason.

  8. #8
    Baily
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    You were emotional...so what! When someone cheats on you...that's what the body does....you didn't overreact.

    Her meeting guys on the net 'just for fun' right now is garbage....she's out looking for other men.

    Her parents will never take your side....they can't...that's their child and their grandchild...if they want to see their grandchild they have to side with her.

  9. #9
    Butchannon
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    She says now that she wanna future with me and our daughter. That she wanna move in and buy a new car... But I just can't imagine this happens because of her parents' control. I don't think they will accept that.

  10. #10
    Butchannon
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    Quote Originally Posted by Baily [Register to see the link]

    Her parents will never take your side....they can't...that's their child and their grandchild...if they want to see their grandchild they have to side with her.
    But I think they should consider that their grandchild will need a father and it wouldn't be okay if she will have to grow up without father.

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