What I have to do.

So here's my plan.

Since finding out that my boyfriend had been talking to another girl behind my back saying things like "I wanna cuddle you to sleep, Miss you, and you'

re so pretty" - things he hardly says to me anymore, I have been a wreck.

I don't want to break up, but if somethings don't change that is what will happen. I feel so down and I don't even want to eat. He is gone til sometime today but I need him back here asap. I need to talk to him about this because he will be gone for the next 3 weeks and that is exactly what I do not need.

According to him, he was going through a weird time when he did it. I had noticed him pulling away - sex, emotions, etc. but he said it wasn't me. Well, I knew he needed more space and I was having a hard time with it but I did give it to him. Perhaps that's what drove him to do it. Still, that's not right at all.

Within the past few weeks he has been back to normal. I thought things were going so great, I was on cloud 9 again. And then I check his skype and find out that a month ago he was talking to this girl.

He apologized 3 times, said I probably thought he was dirt now.

I told him it will take me time to get over it.

But there is more that I need to know.

I need to know WHY he did it, and if there was more than just what I saw on his skype, AND if there were other girls. And I don't like to be like this, but I am going to be make it very clear to him that if he talks to her again we are over.

I never ever had a problem with him talking to girls before. But now I feel so very paranoid. He is always having girls as FB friends and the majority of people who comment on his stuff are girls. He went to a beerfest thing and one of the girls who is a beer model added him and that makes me nervous.

It never used to. But I might have to tell him to tone it down a bit.

I also need to know if he is 100% into this. Because if not, what's the point?

I am into this completely and I see a future with him. I am not sure if he feels the same way. I need to know he loves me and cares for me and is in it for the long haul.

And lastly.. I want to know WHY he can say sweet things like he did to that other girl (like he did in the beginning of our relationship) but not to me! It frustrates me so much.

I am crying again, great. I probably will when/if I see him today. He was going to stay another night with his friend and watch her baseball game. I would not think that wise of him. I would not be happy. In fact, I would be an emotional wreck.

I just want this to be over with. I can't even talk to friends about it.. I don't know why. I don't want to cause a big fuss. Ive learned my lesson about venting to friends.. with one anyone. Anytime I told her anything she would give me her opinions and if I didn't agree we fought. So this time I am dealing with it on my own and I feel so alone either way.

SO when he gets home I am going to ask him these questions I have.

And if all goes well he will give me honest answers and we will recover from this and I will see differences in his behaviour toward me. If not, he will bethe same as before and I will have to end it.

The thought makes me sick.

Aww, sweetheart. I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. (((BIG HUG)))

It's good that you're putting your foot down and being direct with him. But I just gotta say, he may not have clear/comforting answers for you. I mean, what kind of answer can you give when asked, "How could you say these things to this girl but never say them to me anymore?"

Remember: people who take their relationships seriously will work through their rough patches together. They don't seek out thrills with other people.

This is a situation where you have to try to be logical and listen to your head more than your heart. See if what he says actually makes sense and doesn't sound like BS.

Good luck!

Aww, sweetheart. I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. (((BIG HUG)))

 

It's good that you're putting your foot down and being direct with him. But I just gotta say, he may not have clear/comforting answers for you. I mean, what kind of answer can you give when asked, "How could you say these things to this girl but never say them to me anymore?"

 

Remember: people who take their relationships seriously will work through their rough patches together. They don't seek out thrills with other people.

 

This is a situation where you have to try to be logical and listen to your head more than your heart. See if what he says actually makes sense and doesn't sound like BS.

 

Good luck!

Thanks for the support.

I realize that question might be hard to answer.. but I just wish I understood. Is it the thrill of talking to someone new? I just don't get it.

I am going to try so hard not to cry tonight when I see him, but I can't make any promises.