Jump to content

She won't even kiss me anymore...


Jester1586

Recommended Posts

I've been in a relationship with my girlfriend for over a year now. At the start we were having sex all the time, and after a few months it dropped to a lesser amount, as expected. Over the past five or so months, we've barely had any physical contact at all.

 

And when I say physical contact, I mean everything. And it's not for lack of trying on my part. I've tried to get her in the mood, but she just doesn't want to do anything. It's a chore to even get her to kiss me, let alone make out with me. She usually lets out a sigh and give me a quick peck and turns away.

 

I've tried a change of scenery. We usually hang out over her house, and but lately we've been coming to my place more often. We even went away for the weekend a couple months back, and nothing.

 

I've tried talking to her about it, and I've expressed to her that I feel a good sex drive is important to our relationship, but nothing's changed. She continually tells me that it's nothing that is my fault and that she doesn't know why she feels that way, and assures me nothing is wrong. She even says nothing else is wrong with the relationship, and I don't want to keep prying into it. Every time I bring it up she acts like all I want from her is sex. Every time we talk about it she tells me she'll work on it, but the next time I bring it up she tells me she hasn't really thought about it at all.

 

 

I really love this girl and I want to try to make this work, but I've run out of ideas on what to say or do. It just seems like she doesn't care about it at all.

 

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Link to comment

It's hard to see how 'nothing else is wrong with the relationship' - I bet you don't feel that way.

 

Does this date back to anything? Christmas? A bereavement? DId you try something in bed she wasn't perhaps too keen on? Is she depressed or under stress out in the world some way?

Link to comment

She may have just gone off you.

You were new at first but now just the same old magazine no matter how you rearrange the pictures and articles, it's still the same.

 

If she's still in love you she would still desire to have sex with you.

 

Otherwise it it's the term "Loves you but not in love with you.

Link to comment

Unfortunately, I think you need to sit her down, relax her as much as humanly possible, be calm, be gentle, and ask her, emphasising that she must be honest above all else, whether or not she's still attracted to you. I say unfortuantely, beacuse I suspect if she's honest the answer will be no. That's no comment on you; people do lose their attraction for other people sometimes, regardless of how the other person is. It's a tough scenario. I do hope I'm wrong, though.

Link to comment

This is not a relationship. It will probably be a waste of time talking to her but if she won't even touch you it seems too far gone to salvage. If I were you I would move on because loving someone isn't enough without a good sexual relationship as well. Don't let her guilt you into 'you only want sex' because that is nonsense.

Link to comment

It might be time you take a step back from this relationship. Basically setting an ultimatum. Tell her that you have thought about what has been going on with your relationship, and that you think it is best you two part ways. This will give her a bit of a jolt and hopefully will trigger her to try a bit harder, if she even wants to. If she makes no such attempt, then I think your answer is clear that she isn't attracted to you anymore.

Link to comment
It's hard to see how 'nothing else is wrong with the relationship' - I bet you don't feel that way.

 

Does this date back to anything? Christmas? A bereavement? DId you try something in bed she wasn't perhaps too keen on? Is she depressed or under stress out in the world some way?

 

Yeah, I don't see how nothing is wrong, but she assures me nothing is, so I can either believe her or assume she's hiding something.

 

And I don't think it dates back to a particular event, but maybe I'm wrong. As for stress, I first thought that was it. She was in her last semester at college and had finals, but she's graduated, and been done with it all for over a month now.

Link to comment

Sorry man this is a HUGE warning sign that trouble is on the horizon. Don't be surprised if you soon get the line "I love you but I'm not IN LOVE with you". This has happened TWICE to me and both times the girl has wanted to break up. The first thing to go is ALWAYS the physical love.

Link to comment
She did change her birth control, but it's also been a few months for that.

 

It could really be affecting her. Has she complained about it? I know I've been on pills where I don't want anyone to touch me; I had a three foot bubble I didn't want people in. Never mind kissing or being sexual. Sometimes it takes longer for changes to be seen (like, not immediate).

 

I think you're just going to have to ask her though. It could be one of a million things.

Link to comment

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...