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Thread: "As Friends" ... what the heck does it mean?

  1. #1
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    "As Friends" ... what the heck does it mean?

    So, I've heard the following phrase two times in the past few months.

    First, a woman that was showing interest in me ... I finally asked her out for a drink and we had a really good conversation. I just went through a break up but didn't express that to her. A few days later we saw each other at a party and (because I had talked to my ex that day) I was bummed out. She probably took it as a lack of interest. We've bumped into each other a few more times since but not much conversation. So, two month later I feel much better and I see her at an event and talk with her. Tell her I was distracted before with things going on but that I enjoyed talking with her and would like to get together again. She says, sure ... as long as it's "as friends".

    Second, an ex (only a two month relationship that was a mistake on my part) calls. She broke up with me a year prior and we've had little contact since then. She wants to know if I'd like to go for a drink, do something low key (like bowling) "as friends".

    What gives with the "as friends" line? I took the first as a lack of interest and the second as her wanting to talk and see if anything was there. Any thoughts? Why do girls say "as friends" sometimes.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member rosephase's Avatar
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    They are telling you clearly that while they would hang out with you that it isn't going to be a date. Now that might mean something else underneath. Like the ex might be trying to figure out if she would like to date you again. And the first woman might have been trying to blow you off but what they are communicating is very clear. *if* you hang out they don't what you thinking it's a date.

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    Silver Member loulou37's Avatar
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    men say it too!! she probably says friends so as not to scare you off, she may want more. she may want to talk. i said the same to my ex when we met, and it ended up we both wanted to get back together.

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    I got that last weekend and seem to think it's some sort of trend. Women must know that we have needs too and can get stimulating conversation from our male friends. Sorry but men aren't into meeting new female friends if given the choice unless the possibility exist of something romantic. Sure some exceptions exist but not as a rule like some women seem to think. Oh and we aren't mind readers.

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  6. #5
    Silver Member Juxtapoz's Avatar
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    hmm, because they want to do something as friends. take it as simple as that, don't overanalyze. do you want to be friends with them or not? a strong relationship can build from a simple friendship if you let it.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member Mauxly's Avatar
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    I've tossed that line out when I wasn't sure what I wanted and didn't want the pressure of a 'date'. Two out of three times I wound up dating the guy because once the pressure was off we could have a really good time without trying to impress each other or wonder what we should do next.

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    Platinum Member Day_Walker's Avatar
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    It seems to me that any body could just say "as friends". No matter who says it, it would seem to me that the person is saying it to clear the air and indicate that the outing does not signify any kind of romantic interest. Some people like to put that on the table to ensure that the other person is on the same page.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member oldenoughtoknow's Avatar
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    With the first woman, I would say that you languished for too long and have moved towards the friend zone. You may not be all the way there yet. One "as friends" get-together will probably give you many more clues, or maybe even an answer.

    When an ex calls you out of the blue and wants to get together "as friends," it's usually because they've been thinking about you and would like to see you again. And yes, probably to see if anything is still there. The "as friends" line from your ex is a thin veil she's using to protect herself from a possible rejection.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member lavenderdove's Avatar
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    "As friends" means just that... she wants to be a friend, not date you and have romantic/sexual exchanges when she sees you, nor be taken as being your girlfriend or on the path to being your girlfriend. So basically she wants you to treat her like you're her brother or one of her female friends, and doesn't wants any romance.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member ghost69's Avatar
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    could be anything.

    i've had girls say, 'we aren't having sex.' i say okay. a few hours later i'm putting my clothes back on and leaving. lol

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