0000001 Posted May 18, 2010 Share Posted May 18, 2010 I seem to have missed that particular boat. I turned 25 recently and, despite hundreds of hours of therapy, several hospitalizations, a palette of brightly coloured pills and many different changing life circumstances, I'm just as suicidal as I've been for each of the past ten years. What gives? Link to comment
digger11 Posted May 18, 2010 Share Posted May 18, 2010 hormones, brain chemicals, extra tumultuous times in life. everyone is different Link to comment
HeartGoesOn Posted May 18, 2010 Share Posted May 18, 2010 Are you currently getting treatment? Link to comment
Pinnsvini Posted May 18, 2010 Share Posted May 18, 2010 Because in your teen years you're going through that transition from childhood to adulthood which is very taxing mentally. All these new responsibilities are being thrown upon you, mixed with the crazy hormones associated with puberty bring you down a serious amount. Link to comment
0000001 Posted May 18, 2010 Author Share Posted May 18, 2010 why do you feel suicidal? No particular reason. I just feel like I'm living for the sake of others. It's been years since I enjoyed anything or found meaning in anything, and I feel like a complete idiot whenever I put effort into something. There is nothing in particular that I want to change about my life because I can't visualize what a 'happy life' might look like. When you think about it, staying alive takes a lot of work. Keeping the rent paid takes a lot of work. Not flipping out on a stranger and getting arrested takes a lot of work. Eating a balanced enough diet that I can buck the family history of type-2 diabetes for a few more years takes a lot of work. Where's the reward? What does life offer that I'm supposed to want? Why doesn't EVERYONE kill themselves? Are you currently getting treatment? I've decided to take a break from psychoanalysis, which wasn't helping after six years, and try some cognitive behavioural therapy, which might not be helping either. Link to comment
dragon lady Posted May 18, 2010 Share Posted May 18, 2010 I think that it only seems that way because people stop talking about it once they get into their 20s. People tend to become less open with their feelings. It's seen as immaturity to do otherwise. The reason I say this is because the median age to commit suicide is around 40. Link to comment
Jeen Posted May 19, 2010 Share Posted May 19, 2010 No particular reason. I just feel like I'm living for the sake of others. Where's the reward? What does life offer that I'm supposed to want? Why doesn't EVERYONE kill themselves? Stop living for others! Set yourself goals in life not for anyone but yourself, people will always be part of your life, while you work toward your goals in life. Life is a team effort we all need help in life to reach our goals, we also give in life and help in life sow others can reach their goals but it should not destroy your dreams or goals. Where's the reward? To feel good and happy within yourself. To be able to smile and to see someone else smile. To enjoy life with all it's faults. What does life offer that I'm supposed to want? To look at life and to know, I had a good day, week, month, year, life. Why doesn't EVERYONE kill themselves? Because our journey is not yet finished, we are all pieces of a puzzle that still need a place to fit, we are all unique and need to wait our turn to find our place, it can't be rushed, it is the puzzle of life we all are a part of. Hugs. Link to comment
0000001 Posted May 19, 2010 Author Share Posted May 19, 2010 we are all unique and need to wait our turn to find our place, it can't be rushed, it is the puzzle of life we all are a part of. So...hang in there another fifty years, continue to live for others, and hope the solution reveals itself at some point? Link to comment
Jeen Posted May 19, 2010 Share Posted May 19, 2010 So...hang in there another fifty years, continue to live for others, and hope the solution reveals itself at some point? Why live for others? Do you have to look at other people to be happy, you should look at what really makes a person happy, you are no ones slave or competition. Link to comment
0000001 Posted May 22, 2010 Author Share Posted May 22, 2010 Why live for others? Do you have to look at other people to be happy, you should look at what really makes a person happy, you are no ones slave or competition. Well...what DOES usually make people happy? Sex? I could take it or leave it. Money? I don't like to shop. As long as the lights are on and food is in the fridge, money's not worth discussing. Helping others? ....it depends on which others. My friends take me for granted these days; a little reciprocation now and then would be nice. Religion? I'm not any more likely to find God than some people you probably know are to become atheists. Artistic self-expression? Been there. Done that. Waste of time. Patriotism? Nonsense. The satisfaction of a job well done? HAHAHAHAHA Pets? Eww, no. True love? Impossible. Mastery of a skill? Possible but unlikely. Link to comment
teabee Posted May 22, 2010 Share Posted May 22, 2010 Well...what DOES usually make people happy? Sex? I could take it or leave it. Money? I don't like to shop. As long as the lights are on and food is in the fridge, money's not worth discussing. Helping others? ....it depends on which others. My friends take me for granted these days; a little reciprocation now and then would be nice. Religion? I'm not any more likely to find God than some people you probably know are to become atheists. Artistic self-expression? Been there. Done that. Waste of time. Patriotism? Nonsense. The satisfaction of a job well done? HAHAHAHAHA Pets? Eww, no. True love? Impossible. Mastery of a skill? Possible but unlikely. I wouldn't understand the point of living if I had that attitude either. Everything seems to be a waste of time or nonsense to you, and as long as you think that way, no, life will not feel like it's worth living. Link to comment
Jeen Posted May 22, 2010 Share Posted May 22, 2010 You are forgetting the most important one! Respect, forgiveness and love for yourself! "Believing in yourself and excepting you are only human" A persons will to live comes from within a person. Link to comment
kyivish Posted May 24, 2010 Share Posted May 24, 2010 Well to me its like this, suicidal behavior comes when life seems to difficult to face, whether thats relationships, family life, school pressure or whatever. Teens usually have very little life experience and are for the most part sheltered, so something minor like being rejected for prom and cause suicidal thoughts. Once out of highschool that person quickly but steadily learns more hardships and learns just how cruel life can be. They get through each challenge and get stronger and can face even tougher challenges next time. Link to comment
JulianaF Posted May 27, 2010 Share Posted May 27, 2010 I missed that boat too. I am suicidal on a daily basis. What I realized though is that the impulse to kill myself isn't me; it's some sort of disease, some mental illness; a persistent, unwelcome houseguest in my mind. I would never do it. It is always there, though, kind of like a tic; my brain periodically suggests to me that perhaps it would be nice to be dead. I'm working on getting to a place where I don't feel that way again, but in the meantime, I don't mistake it for an actual emotion of mine. I realized that when I was 25, and I'd finally accomplished this amazing thing (to me), something I'd wanted to do all my life, and suddenly, out of the blue, out of nowhere, I wanted to kill myself. I knew then it wasn't me, and never had been. It's a disease. Link to comment
doityourself Posted May 27, 2010 Share Posted May 27, 2010 I also missed that boat, even though I live a pretty good life, I continually think of suicide. Also have days where, I hate everyone Dont want to get out of bed Dont want people to talk to me Hate, Hate, Hate Anger, Anger, Anger Think the whole world is against me The list goes on and on....... What helps me is knowing that only me, myself and I can change my life, how I see and feel things. So what am I waiting for??? Who knows but Im still here trying to figure it out. Is it me, am I doing something wrong, what If happiness and calm are right around the corner. Im staying to find out, what else do I have to lose. Hope your today was better than your yesterday. Link to comment
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