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Thread: Is phrase "change of life baby" rude?

  1. #1
    newwave

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    Is phrase "change of life baby" rude?

    I know someone who is pregnant at almost 50 with her first baby. I didn't ask if it was natural or not (none of my business) but she did tell me she was still getting menstrual cycles. I know a few other women in their 40's who are pregnant. I am 39 but hope in a few years to have a child if things work the way I want. The guy I like even talked to me about us eventually having a child (and marrying) but this is at least 2 years away or more, which will put me in early 40's.

    Anyway, I was talking to a mutual friend about all these other women (she knows them too) and she mentioned "oh they are all having change of life babies". At first I didn't give it much thought but then I thought it was rude because they aren't going through menopause so how could it be change of life babies?

    Late babies run in my family too and all of my great grandmothers had babies late, in fact a few had babies when they were already grandmothers! In this way I understand the term because they were going into a change (change here being a grandma), but not the others. Unlike in the past, these were all planned pregnancies by women who realize their time of getting pregnant is coming to an end.

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    sophie274
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    What did she mean by "change of life" babies? That phrase means nothing to me - not sure I understand it - so I can't say whether it's rude or not. I've never heard it used before.

    Hmm, a quick google seems to say that it either refers to:
    - any baby born to a woman over 40
    - or when the mother already has older children and has a new baby and starts the parenting cycle over

    It's possible she was implying she thought those women were too old to have children, but it's not obvious. It's not the kind of thing I think you should spend too much time worrying about. A lot of women in their forties are having children these days, so you won't be a black sheep if you're pregnant at 41/42.
    Last edited by sophie274; 05-13-2010 at 05:28 PM.

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    newwave

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    Generally speaking change of life babies means the woman has them as they are reaching (or assumed to be reaching) menopause. Sort of almost like a surprise (as they were in the past). It's a common term here and used to fit but really doesn't now.

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    Mauxly
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    I don't think it's that rude.
    How about this for rude? I'm 39 and was talking to a younger woman about having kids this late, she says, "Oh...but by now all your eggs are rotten aren't they?"

    I just laughed.

  5. #5
    lavenderdove
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    Change of life babies used to mean 'surprise' babies for women in their 40s. Many woman had their families young, and sometimes there would be a surprise pregnancy later in life, with the other kids grown or almost grown. This was do to when you get in your 40s in perimenopause, your periods can be quite irregular, and birth control may be harder to implement and fail if the woman misjudges her fertility or fertile days.

    Even women who were very regular/predictable when younger, can have surprise fertility changes/spurts in their 40s.

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    annie24
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    i've never really heard that phrase. but i understand it. i can imagine some women think they might not be able to get pregnant because they stopped getting regular periods, but then comes a baby! ooops!

    i guess it can be considered rude to inquire about the status of a woman's periods. lol. probably not a good thing to talk to her about unless you know her well enough to know she wouldn't be upset.

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    newwave

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mauxly [Register to see the link]
    I don't think it's that rude.
    How about this for rude? I'm 39 and was talking to a younger woman about having kids this late, she says, "Oh...but by now all your eggs are rotten aren't they?"

    I just laughed.
    That is rude. Reminds me of what my aunt and cousin (both had babies in early 20's) said. They were talking about this woman who had a baby at 37 and they said "I didn't know a woman could get pregnant that late, isn't that when menopause starts?". Another time they said my eggs are all gone, which the doctor told me they weren't.

    Btw, the woman who told me about her menstrual cycle shared that with me because we were talking about later pregnancies. I told her I am still considering children and she said that she was worried but still got regular cycles so knew it could happen (she wanted it desperately and finally found mr right). I would never ask another women about that. In fact the only time I actually asked anyone about regular periods was when I asked my mother when she stopped getting regular periods (she said 50's). This was only to see if I was years away from menopause because most women follow their mother in this respect (a mother with early menopause will likely have a daughter who also has early menopause).

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    Crazyaboutdogs
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mauxly [Register to see the link]
    I don't think it's that rude.
    How about this for rude? I'm 39 and was talking to a younger woman about having kids this late, she says, "Oh...but by now all your eggs are rotten aren't they?"

    I just laughed.
    If your eggs are rotten then I can imagine that my eggs must have lots of fuzzy multicoloured mold on them by now!

  9. #9
    Mauxly
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    I just thought it was funny. I'm assuming that I'm sterile because I have endro, I'm 39, and I haven't used BC in 10 years. But I still have my regular cycle.

  10. #10
    Batya33
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    I went off the pill at age 38, and about two years later my cycles all of a sudden were regular - before I'd been on the pill, and when I was off the pill, they were irregular. I got pregnant (by trying, naturally) when I was almost 42. I always thought change of life baby was where the woman thought she was too old to get pregnant again and had an accident with her husband.

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