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Thread: I am curious.

  1. #1
    Platinum Member -Sanguine-'s Avatar
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    I am curious.

    How often does your partner say romantic/sweet things to you? (you're beautiful/handsome, etc.)
    How important is this to you?

    How often does your partner do romantic/sweet things for you?
    how important is this to you?

    How often do you do/say romantic or sweet things for your partner?

    How long have you been together?

    EDIT: Adding a question..

    Do you think it's fair to ask your partner to try to be more romantic or sweet if it's something you feel is lacking?
    Last edited by -Sanguine-; 05-09-2010 at 01:36 PM.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Firiel's Avatar
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    He says romantic things most every day. I love it. It means the world to me.

    He does romantic things far less... if I'm really upset or have had a really bad day, he'll often do something very sweet. Sometimes when we are walking in the store, he'll just tell me to pick out flowers. I sometimes wish he'd do romantic things more often, but it's not even enough of an issue for me to bring it up.

    I say romantic things every day. I do romantic things... maybe a little more often than him, though my "romantic" things tend to be practical like making him dinner or something.

    We have been together for two years, and we are also long distance (which affects the number of sweet things we do for each other).

  3. #3
    Platinum Member ToF's Avatar
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    How often does your partner say romantic/sweet things to you? (you're beautiful/handsome, etc.)
    -Not very often. Maybe once a week or so.
    How important is this to you?
    -It's not all that important to me in a general sense, but when I do hear it, it does make me very happy.

    How often does your partner do romantic/sweet things for you?
    -He's not one for traditional romance, but he does sweet things for me pretty often. Little surprises, gestures, etc.
    how important is this to you?
    -The "little things" are very important to me. It's what keeps us going when things aren't at 100%, and even when we're doing fine, it's how we communicate our caring for one another.

    How often do you do/say romantic or sweet things for your partner?
    -I say nice things a little more often than he does. I'm more verbal, and he's more actions. But I'll surprise him with small gestures here and there as well.

    How long have you been together?
    -About six months, and we live together.

    EDIT: To answer your last question: I think you can ask your partner whatever you want to. If you're unhappy with something, then there is no reason you should not be able to bring your concerns to them. However, this is often something that a person cannot change about themselves. I know from experience that asking someone, even someone who loves you very much, to be more romantic, often doesn't change a thing.

    It's like asking someone who can barely draw a stick figure to please learn how to paint a masterpiece. It's just not something that comes naturally to everyone.
    Last edited by ToF; 05-09-2010 at 01:43 PM.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Dako's Avatar
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    I can't imagine being in a relationship without those affirmations. Maybe he should hear you need more than sex. It's not just a woman's need. He might learn to like it.

    I get those sorts of comments when chatting with my ex wife or ex GF and it really feels warm and fuzzy. And they dumped me. LOL!

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member _Asti_'s Avatar
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    He tells me daily. Some days more than others, but generally he is very vocal when it comes to saying things about me and how he feels about me. As for showing me and doing sweet things, it happens quite often, atleast weekly there's some sort of 'above and beyond' gesture he does, and many times its just small things as opposed to a large scale gesture.

    I'm sort of the opposite. I say it several times a week, or when I feel it at time stronger than other times, the mood is appropriate, etc. I find for me, its easier to show it and have much more fun doing things for him, than vocalizing it.

    I really don't know if it's important to me. Since we began dating 6 years ago, he's always told me those things. So maybe in a way I don't know any different.

    I think maybe because I feel secure in myself, in him and my relationship, that I don't necessarily need to say it or hear it. I think our actions speak loud enough, and that hearing it once in a while is nice.

    But for him, he wants me to say it all the time, as much as I can, and I suppose its almost related to how frequently he says it to me. But since I know he appreciates me saying it, I make much more of an effort to be more vocal, to write it out, express myself in cards, texts, emails whatever and really put the effort in on certain occassions.
    Last edited by _Asti_; 05-09-2010 at 02:40 PM.

  7. #6
    Member glucoze's Avatar
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    Well.. I still speak to my last boyfriend. I'm not even sure if we are getting back together or not. But he still speaks to me romantically.. says I am beautiful, stuff like that.
    I think it's sweet.

  8. #7
    Gold Member citymouse's Avatar
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    We have been dating four and a half months. We see each other two or three times a week and I think pretty much every time I see him, he tells me he thinks I look beautiful.

    I think it is sweet and I appreciate it... it does mean a lot to me. I know I'm far from perfect so I think it is sweet that he only sees the good in me.
    : )

    I give him a lot of compliments too and let him know that I think he is amazing and inspiring in so many ways.

    He almost always brings a gift of some sort, usually flowers or wine, or a gourment treat. I don't have a lot of money so I try to reciprocate by cooking him dinner or cooking goodies for him to take home, whether blueberry muffins or chocolate chip cookies...

    There has been some talk between us about being together for the long haul...frankly I am head over heels and feel like he is the one I want to be with forever. I think the affection between us, those little compliments and simple gifts and tokens of affection go a long way toward making each other feel appreciated.

    Originally Posted by -D-
    Do you think it's fair to ask your partner to try to be more romantic or sweet if it's something you feel is lacking?
    Fair? Perhaps.
    Realistic? That's a good question.

    I think these things should come naturally and from the heart. If you ask for it, and your partner complies, will he really be speaking these words and making these gestures from the heart? Or will he be doing it more from a sense of duty? And if the latter is true, is that really what you want and is that going to meet your needs?

    I think sometimes when we are close to someone who doesn't express affection the way we need it -- we must either learn to accept that person as he/she is, or re-evaluate whether this is a relationship we want to be in.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member Jd1983's Avatar
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    How often does your partner say romantic/sweet things to you? (you're beautiful/handsome, etc.)
    My bf tells me romantic things on a daily basis.

    How important is this to you?
    It's very important, because although I know that he loves me, it's still nice to hear it from time to time.

    How often does your partner do romantic/sweet things for you?
    He does romantic things for me all the time. Whether it's getting me my favorite food, holding the door for me, carrying all my bags, buying me something, going to places I want to go, defending me when someone upsets me.

    how important is this to you?
    I think it's important because it shows how much he's willing to do for me.

    How often do you do/say romantic or sweet things for your partner?
    I'm not as romantic with him as he is to me. Although I do show him from time to time that I love and care about him. He tends to express himself a lot better than I can.

    How long have you been together?
    We've been together for two years.

    Do you think it's fair to ask your partner to try to be more romantic or sweet if it's something you feel is lacking?
    Absolutely. At one point, I told my bf that he wasn't as romantic as I'd like him to be. He told me that he was a very romantic person, but he didn't want to overdo it with me, because he wasn't sure how I'd react to it. It was all a little misunderstanding, but if I hadn't mentioned it he never would have known.

    I also failed to realize that romance doesn't necessarily mean flowers (which I'm not too big on) and chocolate and sunset on the beach, but it's the things that he does for me on a day to day basis. Romance could be me not listening to him to bring a jacket when it's cold outside, and him offering me his sweater while only wearing a t-shirt, just so I won't get sick.

  10. #9
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    How often does your partner say romantic/sweet things to you? (you're beautiful/handsome, etc.) How important is this to you?


    I get something sweet on a daily basis, and it means a lot to know that he's attracted to me and that I'm appreciated.

    How often does your partner do romantic/sweet things for you?
    how important is this to you?


    Not daily, but it happens when I least expect it, which makes it even more special. It's his way of showing he's thinking of me, so I really appreciate those little moments.

    How often do you do/say romantic or sweet things for your partner?

    I'm an incredibly mushy person. I wake up saying something mushy and I fall asleep saying something mushy. I lay his uniform out when he's in the shower, pack him a lunch, generally have dinner ready when he gets home. Stuff like that mostly.

    How long have you been together?

    8 months? 7 months? Something in there.



    Do you think it's fair to ask your partner to try to be more romantic or sweet if it's something you feel is lacking?


    I have asked, and it has made a difference. I see nothing wrong with asking. You never know unless you try, right?

  11. #10
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    How often does your partner say romantic/sweet things to you? (you're beautiful/handsome, etc.) How important is this to you?
    Pretty often. He often says "hey beautiful" when greeting me, and he tells me he loves me at the end of every conversation (so at least once a day). It is important to me to hear that he loves me (since we are LD and I can't see it through his actions), hearing that he thinks I'm cute/beautiful is nice too but not as important to me.

    How often does your partner do romantic/sweet things for you?
    how important is this to you?

    Also fairly often. They are mostly little things like good morning texts wishing me a good day and to say that he'll be thinking about me today, leaving me notes on post its for me to find, etc. This is very important to me, I have only dated guys who are very sweet/affectionate and it is a quality I look for in a potential boyfriend.

    How often do you do/say romantic or sweet things for your partner?
    Quite often, I'm very romantic by nature.

    How long have you been together?
    3.5 years

    Do you think it's fair to ask your partner to try to be more romantic or sweet if it's something you feel is lacking?
    Yes if they used to be romantic/sweet in the beginning but stopped over time. If they have always been like that then it is more likely it's just their personality and it's harder to ask someone to change their personality for you.


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