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Thread: Boyfriend Groped Me While Sleeping

  1. #1
    Platinum Member WomanWriter's Avatar
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    Boyfriend Groped Me While Sleeping

    I just need someone to talk to. I feel very crappy and alone and I know it's partly my fault for staying with this guy, but last night I spent the night over my boyfriend's (of 4 months) house. We met at church and he told me that he wanted to wait until marriage to have sex, which I agree with. We both have sexual pasts but we wanted to it right this time.

    Anyway, he had groped me and masturbated me before (last month) while I was sleeping. He didn't know I was actually awake. I told him I was angry at him and he better never do that again. He admitted it was wrong but did not apologize.

    Last night he was being really frisky when we were hanging out (which is weird because he just told me last week that he wants to be even more strict about doing anyhting sexual). I reminded him that he wants to wait and asked if he's changed his mind. He said that no, he did not change his mind. I told him that I do not want to do anthing sexual either and I just want to sleep next to him if he can handle that. He agreed.

    Well, this morning, I felt him touching my breasts, vagina, butt, feet, etc. AFTER I TOLD HIM LAST NIGHT NOT TO DO THAT! I am so angry that he betrayed me!

    I had a doctor's appointment near my house which he walked me to. I told him I was very angry at him and he admitted he messed up and asked me to pray for him. But I am still pissed because he did not say he was sorry and he LIED!

    I think of it as rape because I specifically said NO and he did it again. I have to face him tonight because we are taking our youth group out to dinner with our church. I feel like calling in sick because I am so sick of him.

    He was trying to be all nice to make up for it but I'm pretty sure I am done with him. In any case, I am taking space away from him until and unless he gets some help. I can't believe someone did that to me!

  2. #2
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    I think you guys should stop sharing beds and showers if you want nothing sexual to happen. I am sorry I think he is a normal guy with normal sexuality. If you both want to wait for sex, stop providing opportunities for sex to happen.

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    Platinum Member Fudgie's Avatar
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    Agree w/ Victoria.

    I know your intentions are good, but it's very naive to expect a normal, healthy, frisky young man NOT to be sexual when he's sleeping in bed with the girl he loves. Of course something is going to happen. He may not mean to, but it's going to happen.

    This is why people who typically don't have sex before marriage usually don't sleep together before marriage. There is a reason for this. You guys may be able to sleep in the same room but I would suggest separate sleeping areas.

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    Platinum Member guynextdoor's Avatar
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    Why didn't you say something or stop him once he had his hands on your boobs? Why did you let him go as far as touching your butt and vagina afterwards?

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    Platinum Member Crazyaboutdogs's Avatar
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    You have had endless problems with this guy..his lying, cover ups, disrespect. He doesn't have a phone and a computer so you can only get in touch with him at Church. Just because someone professess to be religious doesn't mean they are fine upstanding individuals. There are many snakes who hide behind religion. This guy groping you while you are sleeping is revolting. He made the rules of no sex so that he could portray himself as a good Christian...but good Christians do not grope people while they are sleeping. I think with all the issues he has this should be the last straw for you. He is downright creepy.

  7. #6
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    You just laid there awake and let him do all this to you?

    Why not open your eyes jump up and scream at him to get his hands off you?

    Unless you really wanted him to do that.

    He knew you weren't asleep, you can't fake that.

  8. #7
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    Originally Posted by Victoria66
    I think you guys should stop sharing beds and showers if you want nothing sexual to happen. I am sorry I think he is a normal guy with normal sexuality. If you both want to wait for sex, stop providing opportunities for sex to happen.
    uh, yeah. I agree with Victoria.

    I can't imagine why you would share a bed with him after the last time, AND knowing he'd been frisky that day...

    Are you sure you're not TRYING To create drama to justify ending this relationship?

    I have to say, from the small amount I've read, it seems like you're fighting awfully hard for something that, most of the time, just pi$$e$ you off. And I don't understand why.....It almost feels like you LIKE to be angry, and being with him gives you the opportunity to lash out at someone..I hope that's not the case.

    Sorry, I don't mean to be harsh, and he deserves to feel like an a$$, but you are really blurring the lines when you invite your frisky boyfriend to sleep next to you, regardless of the words you speak.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member teabee's Avatar
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    It could have been prevented (ie not sharing a bed and allowing the opportunity to even arise) but it's still not your fault. That's really awful and I would feel horribly violated. I would not trust that man after the first time, never mind the second time. That's sexual assault.

  10. #9

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    This seems like a recipe for disaster... since there is a hugely religious component, can he seek counsel from a person at church about this? I agree though, sleeping in bed together makes it way too easy to do what natural sex-drives want to do.

    I'd like to add, given Taikero's point, that it seems like this is hugely shame based and not a real decision on his part. That is never going to work.

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    Originally Posted by FarthestEdge
    It almost feels like you LIKE to be angry, and being with him gives you the opportunity to lash out at someone..I hope that's not the case.

    Sorry, I don't mean to be harsh, and he deserves to feel like an a$$, but you are really blurring the lines when you invite your frisky boyfriend to sleep next to you, regardless of the words you speak.
    This is what a lot of people have been telling you countless times and it is so very true, please consider it. You deserve to be happy like anyone else!

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