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Thread: So, your boyfriend wants you to talk dirty.

  1. #1
    cazmoore
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    So, your boyfriend wants you to talk dirty.

    My boyfriend wants me to talk dirty to him. When we're having sex, he talks dirty to me and it turns me on and I love it, although, I have a hard time doing it in return. I never have done it. The funny thing is, we have a great sex life and we both like experimenting and trying different things to keep our sex exciting, but with THIS, I have hit a complete wall.

    The annoying part is, is when we're having sex he says to me "say something dirty" and this is to make him climax.. and I'm totally stuck thinking "WHY can't I SAY something?".

    What bugs me too.. is that I'm having sex, in the moment and he puts me on the spot by doing that and I kinda get annoyed. The last time that happened, I couldn't have an orgasm because I was distracted and I told him that putting me on the spot like that ruins the mood for me. If anything, lets try the dirty talk before it gets down to us being naked so I could gradually work my way up. I don't know. I tried looking for stuff online, but I'm not sure if it's just something some people do it and it comes naturally to them or what. I think when I start talking like that, I feel a little funny and embarrassed and I want to laugh. For those that do it, do you have any advice? I think my sexual vocabulary is very limited, too... so I worry about repeating the same things over again and stuttering... haha.

  2. #2
    Catdancer

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    The best advice for talking dirty is to practice when you are alone. Figure out what he likes and what would blow his mind. Think of it now, and practice it, so that when he asks you can blow him away and not distract yourself.

    For example, I love dirty talk. And I know what my (I will use my ex as an example) partner likes. I would say..."fill my pretty little pink hole with your hot cum"...or "oh, I want to feel all that hot cream inside of me"....or "I can feel every single inch of your penis (use the c word here instead of penis) sliding in and out of me".

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    IphigeniaSaysHi

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    I can totally relate to this, I think it is common. Being put on the spot really does halt things and makes it even more difficult to get in that mode. I agree with practicing, maybe try saying things on the phone first just to be playful.

    Once you're comfortable saying the things, you can get comfortable in the moment.

  4. #4
    In the Dark
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    Urgh....feel like a bit of a perv saying this....

    What turns me on is hearing what they like and the thoughts of what they like getting done to them.
    Their own personal turn ons and fantasies.

    Saying it in the way you would create an image in their mind.

    Also talking about certain things which had been done in the past which you and your partner did.

  5. #5
    cazmoore
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    Quote Originally Posted by In the Dark [Register to see the link]
    Urgh....feel like a bit of a perv saying this....

    What turns me on is hearing what they like and the thoughts of what they like getting done to them.
    Their own personal turn ons and fantasies.

    Saying it in the way you would create an image in their mind.

    Also talking about certain things which had been done in the past which you and your partner did.

    No, no. That's not pervy at all. I don't really think there's any right or wrongs as far as sex goes.

  6. #6
    cazmoore
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    And thanks guys, I will try it. It is quite annoying for me, and I'd like to be able to do it (not really just for him, but just because I want to for myself) without lying there and wanting to run out the room when that's been sprung on me.

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    KG
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    "Fill me up".

    "Bang me, bang me".

    "Do....not...stop".

    "Yes, yes, yes, like that....more, more".

    "Deeper, lover, deep as you can go".

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    FathomFear
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    I think a lot of this comes down to how so many of us still see sex as dirty/shameful. That's the message that we hear while growing up. Heck, that's where the phrase "talk dirty" comes from.

    To get passed this, I think you'd need to start seeing sex for what it is. As not dirty, as natural, as something that adults enjoy to get closer to each other. Once you genuinely see sex that way and think of it that way I think the natural aversion will go away.

  9. #9
    cazmoore
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    Quote Originally Posted by FathomFear [Register to see the link]
    I think a lot of this comes down to how so many of us still see sex as dirty/shameful. That's the message that we hear while growing up. Heck, that's where the phrase "talk dirty" comes from.

    To get passed this, I think you'd need to start seeing sex for what it is. As not dirty, as natural, as something that adults enjoy to get closer to each other. Once you genuinely see sex that way and think of it that way I think the natural aversion will go away.
    Well, I don't see sex as dirty at all, ever. There's nothing I'm embarrassed about as far as it goes with being physical, and I have no shame putting my face anywhere and getting down with whatever. I guess it's almost just like stage fright or something.. I'm not sure what else I would call it other than 'dirty talk'? I just wanna be part of the action without feeling silly and wonder what ways I can over come it...

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    FathomFear
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    Quote Originally Posted by cazmoore [Register to see the link]
    Well, I don't see sex as dirty at all, ever. There's nothing I'm embarrassed about as far as it goes with being physical, and I have no shame putting my face anywhere and getting down with whatever. I guess it's almost just like stage fright or something.. I'm not sure what else I would call it other than 'dirty talk'? I just wanna be part of the action without feeling silly and wonder what ways I can over come it...
    I'm not saying you consciously think it's dirty. I'm saying it's likely that you subconsciously do, such that you still have a mental aversion to speaking about sexual acts without freezing up.

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