Ask For Advice
Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 29

Thread: So, your boyfriend wants you to talk dirty.

  1. #1
    cazmoore
    Gold Member cazmoore's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Location
    Ontario, Canada
    Age
    33
    Posts
    495
    Gender
    Female

    So, your boyfriend wants you to talk dirty.

    My boyfriend wants me to talk dirty to him. When we're having sex, he talks dirty to me and it turns me on and I love it, although, I have a hard time doing it in return. I never have done it. The funny thing is, we have a great sex life and we both like experimenting and trying different things to keep our sex exciting, but with THIS, I have hit a complete wall.

    The annoying part is, is when we're having sex he says to me "say something dirty" and this is to make him climax.. and I'm totally stuck thinking "WHY can't I SAY something?".

    What bugs me too.. is that I'm having sex, in the moment and he puts me on the spot by doing that and I kinda get annoyed. The last time that happened, I couldn't have an orgasm because I was distracted and I told him that putting me on the spot like that ruins the mood for me. If anything, lets try the dirty talk before it gets down to us being naked so I could gradually work my way up. I don't know. I tried looking for stuff online, but I'm not sure if it's just something some people do it and it comes naturally to them or what. I think when I start talking like that, I feel a little funny and embarrassed and I want to laugh. For those that do it, do you have any advice? I think my sexual vocabulary is very limited, too... so I worry about repeating the same things over again and stuttering... haha.

  2. #2
    Catdancer

    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Age
    43
    Posts
    4,124
    Gender
    Female
    The best advice for talking dirty is to practice when you are alone. Figure out what he likes and what would blow his mind. Think of it now, and practice it, so that when he asks you can blow him away and not distract yourself.

    For example, I love dirty talk. And I know what my (I will use my ex as an example) partner likes. I would say..."fill my pretty little pink hole with your hot cum"...or "oh, I want to feel all that hot cream inside of me"....or "I can feel every single inch of your penis (use the c word here instead of penis) sliding in and out of me".

  3. #3
    IphigeniaSaysHi

    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Posts
    3,561
    Gender
    Female
    I can totally relate to this, I think it is common. Being put on the spot really does halt things and makes it even more difficult to get in that mode. I agree with practicing, maybe try saying things on the phone first just to be playful.

    Once you're comfortable saying the things, you can get comfortable in the moment.

  4. #4
    In the Dark
    Platinum Member In the Dark's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Location
    Somewhere to the right of Australia
    Age
    37
    Posts
    5,001
    Urgh....feel like a bit of a perv saying this....

    What turns me on is hearing what they like and the thoughts of what they like getting done to them.
    Their own personal turn ons and fantasies.

    Saying it in the way you would create an image in their mind.

    Also talking about certain things which had been done in the past which you and your partner did.

  5. #5
    cazmoore
    Gold Member cazmoore's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Location
    Ontario, Canada
    Age
    33
    Posts
    495
    Gender
    Female
    Quote Originally Posted by In the Dark [Register to see the link]
    Urgh....feel like a bit of a perv saying this....

    What turns me on is hearing what they like and the thoughts of what they like getting done to them.
    Their own personal turn ons and fantasies.

    Saying it in the way you would create an image in their mind.

    Also talking about certain things which had been done in the past which you and your partner did.

    No, no. That's not pervy at all. I don't really think there's any right or wrongs as far as sex goes.

  6. #6
    cazmoore
    Gold Member cazmoore's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Location
    Ontario, Canada
    Age
    33
    Posts
    495
    Gender
    Female
    And thanks guys, I will try it. It is quite annoying for me, and I'd like to be able to do it (not really just for him, but just because I want to for myself) without lying there and wanting to run out the room when that's been sprung on me.

  7. #7
    KG
    Platinum Member KG's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    2 miles east of Hicksville
    Posts
    6,111
    Gender
    Male
    "Fill me up".

    "Bang me, bang me".

    "Do....not...stop".

    "Yes, yes, yes, like that....more, more".

    "Deeper, lover, deep as you can go".

  8. #8
    FathomFear
    Platinum Member FathomFear's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    Canada
    Age
    38
    Posts
    4,647
    Gender
    Male
    I think a lot of this comes down to how so many of us still see sex as dirty/shameful. That's the message that we hear while growing up. Heck, that's where the phrase "talk dirty" comes from.

    To get passed this, I think you'd need to start seeing sex for what it is. As not dirty, as natural, as something that adults enjoy to get closer to each other. Once you genuinely see sex that way and think of it that way I think the natural aversion will go away.

  9. #9
    cazmoore
    Gold Member cazmoore's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Location
    Ontario, Canada
    Age
    33
    Posts
    495
    Gender
    Female
    Quote Originally Posted by FathomFear [Register to see the link]
    I think a lot of this comes down to how so many of us still see sex as dirty/shameful. That's the message that we hear while growing up. Heck, that's where the phrase "talk dirty" comes from.

    To get passed this, I think you'd need to start seeing sex for what it is. As not dirty, as natural, as something that adults enjoy to get closer to each other. Once you genuinely see sex that way and think of it that way I think the natural aversion will go away.
    Well, I don't see sex as dirty at all, ever. There's nothing I'm embarrassed about as far as it goes with being physical, and I have no shame putting my face anywhere and getting down with whatever. I guess it's almost just like stage fright or something.. I'm not sure what else I would call it other than 'dirty talk'? I just wanna be part of the action without feeling silly and wonder what ways I can over come it...

  10. #10
    FathomFear
    Platinum Member FathomFear's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    Canada
    Age
    38
    Posts
    4,647
    Gender
    Male
    Quote Originally Posted by cazmoore [Register to see the link]
    Well, I don't see sex as dirty at all, ever. There's nothing I'm embarrassed about as far as it goes with being physical, and I have no shame putting my face anywhere and getting down with whatever. I guess it's almost just like stage fright or something.. I'm not sure what else I would call it other than 'dirty talk'? I just wanna be part of the action without feeling silly and wonder what ways I can over come it...
    I'm not saying you consciously think it's dirty. I'm saying it's likely that you subconsciously do, such that you still have a mental aversion to speaking about sexual acts without freezing up.

  11.  

Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Top Threads
Boyfriend never wants to have sex and it's becoming a problem for me.
I'm 27, my boyfriend is 22 years OLDER than me. Been together 9 months now. In the beginning sex wasn't an issue, now it's becoming an issue because
Mismatched desire levels...how to cope?
My wife and I recently went through a little situation where I told her I wasnít satisfied with the state of our relationship, mainly when it comes
Chlamydia question
Hello all. I have been very happily married for 12 years and my husband and I dated for 5 years prior to getting married. We were each others
Amazing guy..... Erectile dysfunction
Hey all The title says it all, I am a 39 year old women and I've been with an amazing 41 year old man for 1.5 years now. We have a lot of good
Newly wed, and no sex
I have been married to the woman I love for almost two months. We had good chemistry and our sex life was great before our marriage. She had a high
Question about how sexual arousal works for men in this case?
Basically I have to take Cialis when it comes to having sex. I posted about it before in this thread on
At the end of my rope
I met a beautiful woman 4 and a half years ago and she was really fun! I fell head over heels almost immediately let. After about 2-3 months, our sex
Featured Threads
Red Flag if the guy on first date does not pay for my food?
A guys asked me out to a dinner and picked the restaurant. Toward the end, when the waiter came to drop off the bill, the waiter leaned toward the
narcissistic ex - help/ how to get back at him
So this is a post about a narcisisstic, immature ex. Not an ex boyfriend, not an ex boy, but something in between. It was something in between
University freshers fling?
[B]Hey there! [/B] Thank you so much for reading this. I just [I]REALLY [/I]need advice as it's SERIOUSLY affecting MY LIFE
Should you call out your ex when you find out they've been cheating on you?
Just some thoughts guys. Have you been cheated on? What did you do? Did you call your ex out on the lies and deceit? Or go on with your lives?
Ex is being so angry and hateful
I was in kind of relationship for almost 6-7 months but unexpectedly we broke up. He dumped. Just on a fight. Just day after our breakup. I went back
How to avoid checking up on ex social media?
Hi friends, Iím finding that posting here and seeing so many of us in the same boat is proving rather helpful in my own journey to move on. That
Break-up
Hi, I've recently just been broken up with by my girlfriend of two years, she has stated it wasn't all my fault and she is part to blame, but would
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •