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Thread: He won't fight for the relationship?

  1. #1
    geekgirl4
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    He won't fight for the relationship?

    This is out of curiosity from reading other people's posts. What does it mean when the SO won't fight for the relationship? Here's a couple of scenarios:

    1) when you say this is an issue that's really hurting the relationship and your SO says, if you want to break up then you gotta do what you gotta do.

    2) when you are on the verge of breaking up, he just puts up the white flag and lets it happen

    I've noticed that some guys out there think that they are just trying to make you happy by going along with what they think you want to do. That they're going along with it for your benefit because they "love you". I know some people threaten to break up to see if their SO really loves them and wants to fight to make it work.

    Is it a self esteem issue? If they really love them, then wouldn't they fight instead of letting the SO do what they want?

    Just curious!

  2. #2
    Mauxly
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    Quote Originally Posted by geekgirl4 [Register to see the link]
    1) when you say this is an issue that's really hurting the relationship and your SO says, if you want to break up then you gotta do what you gotta do.
    Sounds to me as though he's OK with whatever the issue is, has no desire to change it. Likes the 'issue' more than the girlfriend, sorry to say.

    It would help us to know what the issue is exactly.

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    ellandroader
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    I believe that ultimately, if a person loves you, then nothing can stop them from wanting to work things out. Or at the very least, show some emotion when you leave. Even if it is anger, at least you can't assume they never cared.

    If they don't put up a fight, after several issues, then perhaps they are just not committed as you are. Can you shed any light on the issues?

  4. #4
    InaDaze87
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    This has happened with my SO before and I personally feel like it's a game some women..*correction* girls play. The fact of the matter is if your SO really was fed up and done with you for whatever reason and make it seem that way, then there would be absolutly nothing you could do in your power to change that feeling. I mean you can't make someone be in a relationship with you if they truly don't want to be. Try actually sitting down and actually having a heart to heart without all the tension or anger and more times than not you can get his attention this way instead of playing children's games.

    Typically when you just start getting over emotional about whatever the problem is we tend to take it as nagging or the ever so popular rant and brush it off. Plus I think it's some what of a selfish move to try and play with people's emotions just to get the reaction you are looking/hoping for. Maybe that's why some guys do it!!! Guys tend to be more realistic than romantic in these types of situations. That's my opinion from experience on more than 5 occations!!!
    Last edited by InaDaze87; 04-20-2010 at 05:07 PM.

  5. #5
    Kumatora
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    Quote Originally Posted by geekgirl4 [Register to see the link]
    This is out of curiosity from reading other people's posts. What does it mean when the SO won't fight for the relationship? Here's a couple of scenarios:

    1) when you say this is an issue that's really hurting the relationship and your SO says, if you want to break up then you gotta do what you gotta do.

    2) when you are on the verge of breaking up, he just puts up the white flag and lets it happen
    My response would of been "There's nothing attractive about a quitter." If someone is fed up with "fixing" the relationship or isn't going to change anything to improve it, then you know it's over.

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    geekgirl4
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    Those 2 issues were just ones I heard from other people. I was just referring in general to people who quit too fast. It's true, some girls have self esteem issues and use it as a weapon to test their guys. I'm curious about people who give up during an argument and say, if you want to break up then fine, or some scenario like that.

  7. #7
    pl3asehelp

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    Well one thing I've experienced in the past is a girlfriend NOT bringing up an issue to work on, or if they do it's in the context of X needs to change or we break up, which makes it seem to me that if you're threatening that, then your mind is made up. Much better to just say, 'hey, this is bothering me, can we talk about it' without mentioning breaking up. It seems like an extreme and negative conclusion to a subject that should be broached on more positive terms first - as if you value the relationship. Nobody wants to feel like they live under the constant threat of being left and if you bring it up every time there's an issue, eventually your bluff will be called. I think of it like, if you mention you want to break up, well I have no desire to be with someone who doesn't want to be with me, so adios.

  8. 04-21-2010, 01:51 PM

  9. #8
    InaDaze87
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kumatora [Register to see the link]
    My response would of been "There's nothing attractive about a quitter." If someone is fed up with "fixing" the relationship or isn't going to change anything to improve it, then you know it's over.
    Quote Originally Posted by geekgirl4 [Register to see the link]
    Those 2 issues were just ones I heard from other people. I was just referring in general to people who quit too fast. It's true, some girls have self esteem issues and use it as a weapon to test their guys. I'm curious about people who give up during an argument and say, if you want to break up then fine, or some scenario like that.
    LOL...this is just a thought but what about when the girl is actually fed up with the guy for what ever reason and actually does want to break up? Then the guy starts (in his mind) fighting for the relationship after she has said it's over and means it. Is that attractive enough to make her take him back or is that just being the "Stalker Ex boyfriend" now who doesn't get the picture??? What do women really want?

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