Ask For Advice
Results 1 to 7 of 7

Thread: Can't make a funeral

  1. #1
    pumpkinmoon
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Posts
    5,061
    Thanked
    1

    Can't make a funeral

    I wasn't sure where to put this but I thought this might be the most relevant place.

    I am meant to be going to a funeral today but when I agreed to go around a week ago, I didn't realise that I had other engagements that I can't cancel.

    It's the funeral of the mother of my friend at work and while I was there for her after the death, I was kind of invited to go to the funeral by her daughter.

    I don't know what to say to my friends about it. I don't want to lie and make up some excuse, I can't tell the truth because it seems lame. I just want to break it gently.

    Does anyone have any suggestions about what I could say?

  2. #2
    Stella Sleepwalks
    Platinum Member Stella Sleepwalks's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    England
    Age
    34
    Posts
    1,168
    Gender
    Female
    Hi Shoe,
    To be honest, the funeral is going to be a blur for the family. The last thing they are going to do is look for people who turned up/ didn't turn up.
    I would simply call or text and say that they'll all be in your thoughts today but you can't make it and that you will go for coffee sometime this week. If she asks why you can't go, then just say that you can't get out of a personal appointment, and reinstate that you'll be thinking of them at the funeral.

    I can't see her being preoccupied with your absence, she will have her head somewhere else today.

  3. #3
    pumpkinmoon
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Posts
    5,061
    Thanked
    1
    Thanks Stella,

    Thats the thing too. I know she is going to be all over the place and will be surrounded by her family. I just didn't want to come off as not caring about it.

    This is the reason I wasn't going to go before it was mentioned to me. I have been there to support her but didn't think it was appropriate to go to the funeral anyway as I had never met her mother and didn't know her. I would have gone to support her if she had wated me to but I was asked if I was going by her daughter.

  4. #4
    Stella Sleepwalks
    Platinum Member Stella Sleepwalks's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    England
    Age
    34
    Posts
    1,168
    Gender
    Female
    Its natural for you to feel guilty, but I honestly hand-on-heart don't think she'll be fazed by it. Like I say, either call them up or pass on your condolences to someone else you know is going.

    In my experience, I don't agree to go to the funeral of acquaintances families anymore. I have no place there and don't feel comfortable. I will only go for family and friends.

  5. #5
    pumpkinmoon
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Posts
    5,061
    Thanked
    1
    Thanks again that has helped me to feel better about it. I know what you mean too, I would have felt uncomfortable going.

  6. #6
    _Asti_
    Platinum Member _Asti_'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Age
    30
    Posts
    4,326
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    3
    I agree that when it comes to a funeral, it doesn't really matter who is there and who isn't. To this day I don't know who attended my Mother's funeral and who didn't. And truthfully, don't really care.

    Maybe send a floral arrangement to the house, or a fruit basked with a "Will be thinking of you today.." sort of thing and leave it at that.

    I wouldn't even express that I cannot attend. Odds are you aren't the only person she invited...I think its the day to day support you do that matters more.

  7. #7
    nimisaj
    Bronze Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Posts
    146
    Gender
    Female
    I only think you should go if you closely/not so closely knew the person.

  8.  

Top Threads
Grieving Boyfriend
Hi all! So I wanted to ask for some advice and I don't know who to turn too. Here's a little back story.. My boyfriend and I have been together

Featured Threads
Parent and relationships problems
So clearly i need help sooo i will get right into the story.....sorry its so long I am a 25 year old male who is in a relationship with my 19
My boyfriend is trying to date other woman on online dating site.
I really need help. I am so confused. My boyfriend is on online dating site. He said he wants to date other women. We were on and off relationship
My wife left me without having even a talk
Hi everybody, I wonder if this is normal just to leave a marriage of 7 years without having a proper talk before moving on? It happened to me that
Confused about FWB
Last weekend my FWB and I made plans to meet up. He drove down from his place to go to a party with friends, afterwards he was coming to spend the
Everything is just JUMBLED
I have an extremely, EXTREMELY screwed up life. At least from my point of view it is. At least I think I'm the only one that knows my own
Getting over someone to be with them again later?
Long story short, my ex broke up with me after 4 years because he said he was immature and needed to grow up without me and part of that was meeting
Need Advice - it's urgent for me
Hello Everyone, I meesed up my life and I take full responsibilty. I ned advice and what to do to remedy the situation immediately and prevent it
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •