I got myself wound up last night, after my boyfriend who was too busy and stressed with work over the weekend and next week, casually called me all bright and breezy (unusual at the moment) saying how he was off for a drink with one of his mates.... I couldnt help but let jealousy get the better of me.... I've been dealing with it fine for a while, this all stems from him having cheated on me last year with one of his best girl friends (who he still sees, talks affectionately of, she now has a bf) ANYWAY... what got to me last night, was that he can never make plans to do stuff with me, aside from a last minute, fancy coming round to mine after work (we work together) yet he can always seem to commit to his friends... like last night.... he had been moaning constantly over the last few days about work and how rubbish it was and how he's got no time, how he's too tired... yet last night he saw his mate... and I felt more rubbish about it because I'm really unwell and would have liked for him to offer to come look after me, cook me dinner or something, like I would do him.
Anyway... we had a bit of a spat, he said he'd call later..... he never did.... and he's not been in touch today at all............ I know he's at work, but he knows I'm really unwell, he'll know I MIGHT be annoyed he didnt call.... thing is I'm now going out of my mind that he spent the night with someone last night........why didn't he call me... or text to say he was home... and if he was back so late he couldn't, one he knows I always have my phone on silent when I go to sleep, and two why is it he and I always have to have 'early nights' when he's got to be on a job really early... yet if he's out with his friends he can be out as late as he wants??
He's not really making me feel very confident, when he should be trying to help with my jealousy..... surely??
URGH - I've never been like this before with any boyfriend... he's done this ot me and he's not prepared to help me or look at why I feel this way.
I really don't want to call him as I don't see why I should.... I just don't get why he hasn't.... it's almost like he's testing the waters to see how I'll react and he'll expect me to be totally fine with him on the phone.
What's he thinking?? How do I deal with this??