"faking it"??

ladies, have you ever faked an orgasm? if so, why?

every time me and my boyfriend have sex i end up faking it. its not that he doesnt do good, it feels great, but i guess i just feel like, it would take me a while to orgasm and i dont want him to get tired, etc. i dunno. maybe i just cant relax enough. not sure...

Yes, I faked it a couple of times with my last boyfriend.

It wasn't because he was "bad" though, because he wasn't. I have sexual side effects from some meds and it makes it difficult, sometimes impossible, to orgasm, regardless of how good the sex is.

The goal in sex is to have fun, not to orgasm. If you're having fun and feel satisfied without an orgasm, then that's fine. Just because you don't orgasm doesn't mean it's bad sex.

You may need to explore yourself and find other places on your body that he hasn't stimulated yet, like maybe your clit? that's a huge sensitive spot.

i think you need to figure this problem out!!!! don't fake it. he probably think he just gave you the best orgasm of your life and you're thinking "laaame...". he'll keep going until he's satisfied you, and it will be soooo worrrrrth it

I faked it once I think. But I don't want to do it ever again. It really hurts guys egos if they find out you did this to them.

The goal in sex is to have fun, not to orgasm. If you're having fun and feel satisfied without an orgasm, then that's fine. Just because you don't orgasm doesn't mean it's bad sex.

Yep, I agree.

I think a big part of the problem around "faking it" stems from the straight guy culture around sex. Just look at any cover of Men's Health--it's guaranteed you'll see some variation of "Make her scream!" The success of a straight guy in sex is centered around "getting off" and making a woman scream/squirt/etc, like a musical instrument to be played. Incidentally, it creates an obsession not only around orgasms--but subsequently around erections.

I've never faked it. I don't even think I'd be able to do it. If I can't orgasm, I just tell them so.

No, I've never faked one. I accept going without once in a while, particularly in the beginning but I pretty soon help the guy give me one.

Well, since faking is lying, I don't see how anybody would appreciate it.

Would you like if he internally thought you were ugly or had lost his feelings for you but stayed with you anyway for the easy sex?

If you can't get off or it's going to take longer than expected, just let what is be what is. I promise the guy will try his hardest if he cares anything about you, and when it does happen you'll be glad you didn't fake it because you'll get what you actually wanted the entire time.

I don't know, i don't think faking is THAT bad as long as you are happy.

The goal of ORGASM is ingrained into the heads of some guys. You can't undo it. They won't take "no orgasm" as an acceptable answer, even if you say that you're still having fun.

The sex I had with my last boyfriend was the best sex I had. I just didn't orgasm all the time. But he was very dead-set on having it happen, I figured to just fake it and enjoy the ride instead of having his feelings be hurt. But I still had a good time!

once, i wanted him to feel good about himself... since he tried really really hard. he just stopped, gave me the * * * look and just got up and left. he said it was obviously something he wanted to do... and i ruined his mood lol. so ya, never again~

Just let him know you enjoyed it very much. Don't need to fake it. Surely you would want your man to enjoy it too without faking it right?

I don't know, i don't think faking is THAT bad as long as you are happy.

 

The goal of ORGASM is ingrained into the heads of some guys. You can't undo it. They won't take "no orgasm" as an acceptable answer, even if you say that you're still having fun.

 

The sex I had with my last boyfriend was the best sex I had. I just didn't orgasm all the time. But he was very dead-set on having it happen, I figured to just fake it and enjoy the ride instead of having his feelings be hurt. But I still had a good time!

I do understand that. Although, I suppose I couldn't be with a guy who could only view sex from a male point of view anyway.

I don't know, i don't think faking is THAT bad as long as you are happy.

 

The goal of ORGASM is ingrained into the heads of some guys. You can't undo it. They won't take "no orgasm" as an acceptable answer, even if you say that you're still having fun.

 

The sex I had with my last boyfriend was the best sex I had. I just didn't orgasm all the time. But he was very dead-set on having it happen, I figured to just fake it and enjoy the ride instead of having his feelings be hurt. But I still had a good time!

The goal is to provide pleasure, and the easiest way to know you gave that to someone is by them having an orgasm. That's why the culture is the way it is.

Having said that, I'd rather try my hardest and "fail" honestly and still have a good time of it rather than try for a while and succeed falsely.

I am a giver when it comes to sex. My main goal is to please my partner as best as I can. Admittedly, it taps into the ego when I am told by a girl that she did not orgasm, especially if I gave it nearly my all. But it is worse to know that she has been faking them. Stop faking your orgasms. Stop being obsessed with trying to achieve one. Just relax and enjoy sex. If you stop feeling so anxious about faking the orgasm, your mind can relax enough to pay attention to what your partner is doing. I guarantee that if you can keep that focus on what your partner is doing for your pleasure, you will have much better sex...and even orgasm.

Is it a frequent discussion amongst you two? Does he ask you regularly if you are having orgasms? This might point out some insecurity on his part, which if not addressed, can lead him to lose his sex drive and a huge drop in self esteem. Talk about different ways of spicing up your sex life. Try different locations, various positions or introduce items such as food and toys. Maybe a little jolt in your sex can help you reach the orgasm, although you only want to concentrate on enjoying yourself. Talk things out and be open minded to try things. If something you try doesn't feel right, or you don't enjoy it, simply Stop.

I don't fake it. If I don't have one it's no big deal and often I'm not even trying to have one. I can understand why some women do fake though. As long as it's occasional it's fine. He won't learn what you like if you fake ALL the time though.

Yes I think a big part of it IS how relaxed you are. Are you comfortable with him? Are you really focused on having an orgasm? Thinking about it too much can make it harder to have one. Have you had one before with a guy?

I didn't fake it per se, but I didn't really know what an orgasm felt like with my ex, so I didn't pretend to have one, but when he'd ask if I had one, I'd say "yeah, I think so." But then I had a real orgasm and realized that I wasn't having them very often. I think women have a harder time reaching orgasm than men, especially when it's not self-induced: With my new boyfriend, when he's touched me down there (no intercourse yet), I come a lot faster than I did with my ex fiance, which has little to do with being more turned on, but maybe I'm older or more relaxed or the technique is better. My current boyfriend is more gentle whereas my ex was rough and pressed too hard.

Anyway, knowing what an orgasm now is, I always tell the truth about it. My ex thought he was so good in that department...little did we BOTH know I was lying...lol

Some guys feel like their manhood is called into question if they do not give their gf an orgasm. For some, it is very important. I can orgasm fairly easily but sometimes it's just not going to happen. I'm having a great time but sometimes that is not enough for the guy so I fake it. Not all the time but I would be really surprised if less than 99% of women didn't fake it once in awhile. It's for the sake of the guy's ego. I think it would be shame, though, for a woman to always fake it and never have an orgasm. Then she would be cheating herself and the guy.

Never faked it. Sex isn't about the orgasm to me. It'd be nice if I could but I'd rather have great sex and foreplay with no orgasm than an orgasm alone.

I am not going to pad his ego or treat him like a child that gets his feelings hurt if I don't tell him what a good job he's doing. Because, an orgasm is A) Not the measurement of his ability and B ) he's not crazy sensitive.

As a guy I have even pulled the old Josh Hartnett, '40 Days and 40 nights' Orgasm lol

I can't speak for other guys, but here's how it is for me.

I'm really, really unhappy and frustrated if I have sex and don't reach orgasm. It's happened to me several times, it's not just women who experience this. Even though orgasm is definitely not the best part of really good sex, not reaching orgasm rather ruins the whole experience for me. I don't doubt this is biological hard wiring, for obvious reasons.

I tend to project that on to my female partners. I have absolutely no idea at all what sex feels like from a woman's point of view, so naturally I generalize from my own experience. Ergo it's difficult for me to accept emotionally that a woman is happy with only part of the experience, even if I can accept it intellectually.

While I definitely prefer it if my partner reaches orgasm, I can accept it if she doesn't, if she's OK with it. It's not an ego thing. But I do need positive feedback, some tangible evidence that she's enjoying it. Having sex with someone who doesn't react, well, it's like kissing someone who won't kiss back. It's a huge turnoff. Overall, I'd rather masturbate than have sex like that, at least then I can pretend in my head that my partner is enjoying it.

For example, I've been with women whom I could bring to climax manually, but who didn't seem to get anything at all out of intercourse. Pretty soon I was unhappy about the idea of having sex with them at all.

I'd hate to have sex with a man who did that. =/

I need a guy to be vocal and active in sex and foreplay. If he's not making noise when I give him a blowjob...that ruins the whole experience. I'd rather a guy not cum during a blowjob than not make any sort of indication that they enjoyed it.

I have done this.

I went through a stage where I became really silent during sex except for some heavy breathing.

I just changed the way I behaved due to a couple of things.

One was other people in other rooms close by or next door and her stating that they could probably hear and the other which is a more longer running one is facial expressions because it is just wrong to see them having an orgasm at the same time and then pulling a face.

Then I start to orgasm and laugh at the same time.

So I started to control as much as I could.

Resulting in being a bit silent at times and finding ways of disguising the laughter heard and or seen in my face.

So.

I can see concern if the man or women begins to be concerned that they are not satisfying their partner when they are not reacting the same as they used to.

Can be pretty scary and worrying guess if they were vocal in the first place.

It just needs to be said and understood what the exact reasons are and to reassure that this does not mean they are going to leave them to find satisfying sex with another person.

The goal is to provide pleasure, and the easiest way to know you gave that to someone is by them having an orgasm. That's why the culture is the way it is.

 

Having said that, I'd rather try my hardest and "fail" honestly and still have a good time of it rather than try for a while and succeed falsely.

There are plenty of ways of still show pleasure without having an orgasm. See, when I "fake", I don't really try to "fake", it just happens naturally. My skin gets flushed and I get loud and squeeze harder, but I don't orgasm. But I don't think that makes it any less pleasurable. I know that there are other women like me.

I don't know but that's me.

Even though I went through a breakup with my boyfriend, I NEVER told him and I never will. He'll never know. I knew if he did "fail", he'd feel bad for no reason and I just didn't want to deal with it.

I wish we could fake orgasm's to get back at you but the problem is that there's visual evdenence of a mans orgasm.

I have never orgasmed in my life and am not even sure if I can so honestly, don't know what to do about it. At a certain point I don't blame myself if I were to fake it. Yeah.. don't know what to do about that. I'm staying single right now though so it isn't of concern for me currently.