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Thread: "faking it"??

  1. #11
    Platinum Member guynextdoor's Avatar
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    Just let him know you enjoyed it very much. Don't need to fake it. Surely you would want your man to enjoy it too without faking it right?

  2. #12
    Platinum Member greywolf's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Fudgie
    I don't know, i don't think faking is THAT bad as long as you are happy.

    The goal of ORGASM is ingrained into the heads of some guys. You can't undo it. They won't take "no orgasm" as an acceptable answer, even if you say that you're still having fun.

    The sex I had with my last boyfriend was the best sex I had. I just didn't orgasm all the time. But he was very dead-set on having it happen, I figured to just fake it and enjoy the ride instead of having his feelings be hurt. But I still had a good time!
    I do understand that. Although, I suppose I couldn't be with a guy who could only view sex from a male point of view anyway.

  3. #13
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    Originally Posted by Fudgie
    I don't know, i don't think faking is THAT bad as long as you are happy.

    The goal of ORGASM is ingrained into the heads of some guys. You can't undo it. They won't take "no orgasm" as an acceptable answer, even if you say that you're still having fun.

    The sex I had with my last boyfriend was the best sex I had. I just didn't orgasm all the time. But he was very dead-set on having it happen, I figured to just fake it and enjoy the ride instead of having his feelings be hurt. But I still had a good time!
    The goal is to provide pleasure, and the easiest way to know you gave that to someone is by them having an orgasm. That's why the culture is the way it is.

    Having said that, I'd rather try my hardest and "fail" honestly and still have a good time of it rather than try for a while and succeed falsely.

  4. #14
    Gold Member fLuiD's Avatar
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    I am a giver when it comes to sex. My main goal is to please my partner as best as I can. Admittedly, it taps into the ego when I am told by a girl that she did not orgasm, especially if I gave it nearly my all. But it is worse to know that she has been faking them. Stop faking your orgasms. Stop being obsessed with trying to achieve one. Just relax and enjoy sex. If you stop feeling so anxious about faking the orgasm, your mind can relax enough to pay attention to what your partner is doing. I guarantee that if you can keep that focus on what your partner is doing for your pleasure, you will have much better sex...and even orgasm.

    Is it a frequent discussion amongst you two? Does he ask you regularly if you are having orgasms? This might point out some insecurity on his part, which if not addressed, can lead him to lose his sex drive and a huge drop in self esteem. Talk about different ways of spicing up your sex life. Try different locations, various positions or introduce items such as food and toys. Maybe a little jolt in your sex can help you reach the orgasm, although you only want to concentrate on enjoying yourself. Talk things out and be open minded to try things. If something you try doesn't feel right, or you don't enjoy it, simply Stop.

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  6. #15
    Platinum Member teabee's Avatar
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    I don't fake it. If I don't have one it's no big deal and often I'm not even trying to have one. I can understand why some women do fake though. As long as it's occasional it's fine. He won't learn what you like if you fake ALL the time though.

    Yes I think a big part of it IS how relaxed you are. Are you comfortable with him? Are you really focused on having an orgasm? Thinking about it too much can make it harder to have one. Have you had one before with a guy?

  7. #16
    Platinum Member WomanWriter's Avatar
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    I didn't fake it per se, but I didn't really know what an orgasm felt like with my ex, so I didn't pretend to have one, but when he'd ask if I had one, I'd say "yeah, I think so." But then I had a real orgasm and realized that I wasn't having them very often. I think women have a harder time reaching orgasm than men, especially when it's not self-induced: With my new boyfriend, when he's touched me down there (no intercourse yet), I come a lot faster than I did with my ex fiance, which has little to do with being more turned on, but maybe I'm older or more relaxed or the technique is better. My current boyfriend is more gentle whereas my ex was rough and pressed too hard.

    Anyway, knowing what an orgasm now is, I always tell the truth about it. My ex thought he was so good in that department...little did we BOTH know I was lying...lol

  8. #17
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    Some guys feel like their manhood is called into question if they do not give their gf an orgasm. For some, it is very important. I can orgasm fairly easily but sometimes it's just not going to happen. I'm having a great time but sometimes that is not enough for the guy so I fake it. Not all the time but I would be really surprised if less than 99% of women didn't fake it once in awhile. It's for the sake of the guy's ego. I think it would be shame, though, for a woman to always fake it and never have an orgasm. Then she would be cheating herself and the guy.

  9. #18
    Platinum Member Cognitive_Canine's Avatar
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    Never faked it. Sex isn't about the orgasm to me. It'd be nice if I could but I'd rather have great sex and foreplay with no orgasm than an orgasm alone.

    I am not going to pad his ego or treat him like a child that gets his feelings hurt if I don't tell him what a good job he's doing. Because, an orgasm is A) Not the measurement of his ability and B ) he's not crazy sensitive.

  10. #19
    Silver Member Chris Knows's Avatar
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    As a guy I have even pulled the old Josh Hartnett, '40 Days and 40 nights' Orgasm lol

  11. #20
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    I can't speak for other guys, but here's how it is for me.

    I'm really, really unhappy and frustrated if I have sex and don't reach orgasm. It's happened to me several times, it's not just women who experience this. Even though orgasm is definitely not the best part of really good sex, not reaching orgasm rather ruins the whole experience for me. I don't doubt this is biological hard wiring, for obvious reasons.

    I tend to project that on to my female partners. I have absolutely no idea at all what sex feels like from a woman's point of view, so naturally I generalize from my own experience. Ergo it's difficult for me to accept emotionally that a woman is happy with only part of the experience, even if I can accept it intellectually.

    While I definitely prefer it if my partner reaches orgasm, I can accept it if she doesn't, if she's OK with it. It's not an ego thing. But I do need positive feedback, some tangible evidence that she's enjoying it. Having sex with someone who doesn't react, well, it's like kissing someone who won't kiss back. It's a huge turnoff. Overall, I'd rather masturbate than have sex like that, at least then I can pretend in my head that my partner is enjoying it.

    For example, I've been with women whom I could bring to climax manually, but who didn't seem to get anything at all out of intercourse. Pretty soon I was unhappy about the idea of having sex with them at all.

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