Ask For Advice
Results 1 to 3 of 3

Thread: Dating a divorced man. Can't get over being jealous of his ex-wife...

  1. #1
    floridagirlal
    Bronze Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Age
    45
    Posts
    169
    Gender
    Female

    Dating a divorced man. Can't get over being jealous of his ex-wife...

    Hello. I have had something on my mind for weeks now and I can't seem to come to terms with it in my head. I'm hoping for some guidance or insight from someone who may have been in my position before.

    I'm 38 and have been divorced for 2 years. I have been dating a wonderful man for a little over a year. He is wonderful to me and I know he loves me. My problem is that I can't get over his past. It bothers me to know that he was married and had a life with another woman before me. I can't stand to think about him building a life, a house, kids, and everything else that goes along with marriage with someone else. I have just spent the weekend with his sister and it seemed like she talked about the ex-wife non stop. His sister hates his ex-wife and spoke very poorly of her but we still spent a great deal of time talking about the ex-wife. I feel so immature that I'm struggling to get past these feelings but I am truly having a hard time with this. What's even more ridiculous is that I was married for the same amount of time and had 3 children. My boyfriend never feels jealousy (or never mentions it).

    I hope there is someone out there that has experienced the same feelings and can shed some light for me.....

  2. #2
    Speranza
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Location
    UK
    Age
    56
    Posts
    1,761
    Gender
    Female
    The detail you add at the end DOES make this seem a little odd, yes. It's just a matter of mental discipline I think.

    And perhaps learning to change the subject very gracefully to something positive when she comes up in conversation. Or if you can't do that, have a phrase at least in your head, like: "Let's leave the past in the past."

    What would you say to reassure your partner if he had these feelings about your past?

  3. #3
    Crazyaboutdogs
    Platinum Member Crazyaboutdogs's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    Canada
    Age
    53
    Posts
    25,673
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    23
    Are you generally a jealous person? Did your ex husband have a past when you got together with him? If so, were you jealous of his past? Why did you and your ex divorce? Is it possible you have some unresolved issues from your marriage which you are bringing into this relationship? I guess I could understand your feelings if you yourself had never been married, but you have...you basically had the same life experience as he has had. This is your second time around as well as his.

Top Threads
Well, we are done I guess. But still holding on as well
I haven't posted on here in awhile. Since the last time I did post, things have spiraled out of control. I guess I'll start with what has happened in
drifted away. 6.5 years of marriage and giving up..
we have two kids, both school ready now. he is 35, i 32. we are at loggerheads with each other most of the time, unable to compromise. serious
Have I ruined all chances of saving marriage?
My husband and I dated in high school briefly and then we lost touch. I never forgot him and he says he never forgot me, meaning we thought about
I don't understand
So a little background me and my husband met three months before we got married we believe in love at first sight, yes I know that most of stuticts
Ignored,childless,husband always away.please help!
I am crying now and considering divorce from my husband of 10 years. I don't want to divorce because I love him but I don't feel loved anymore. We
Trapped, lost and lonely..
I'll be honest, I never thought my life would come to the point of making anonymous posts on a website to look for support. I feel like I can't

Expert Advice
Featured Threads
Boyfriend checking out of relationship?!
My boyfriend of over a year said that he feels like he's starting to check out of the relationship because my jealousy issues have been frustrating
Can't let go of my husband's past and thinking of breaking up. Am I crazy?
Hello, I married my husband 1.5 years ago. I have two sons from my previous marriage. Both sons have good relationship with my new husband. I was
Girlfriend got a tattoo I don't like, how to deal?
I've been dating this girl for over a year. About 2 months ago, she mentioned wanting a tattoo and showed me the design she wanted. Tattoos are an
Good thoughts /prayers for my mom she is surgery right now.
My mom is currently in surgery for total knee replacement.
Accidentally found out info about ex I wish I hadn't
I'll try to keep this brief. Ran into the ex on a kik group chat. She doesn't (at least I'm assuming) doesn't know I was in the same group with
My exgf of two relationships ago is about to get married...
and it hurts! The back story: we dated for the years and for what felt like the entire time, all she did was nag me about everything (one of them
I think I've made a huge mistake...
Hey everyone, This is my first post on this website but I need advice. My husband and I have been married a year and a half. In the beginning
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •