Ask For Advice
Results 1 to 3 of 3

Thread: Dating a divorced man. Can't get over being jealous of his ex-wife...

  1. #1
    floridagirlal
    Bronze Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Age
    44
    Posts
    169
    Gender
    Female

    Dating a divorced man. Can't get over being jealous of his ex-wife...

    Hello. I have had something on my mind for weeks now and I can't seem to come to terms with it in my head. I'm hoping for some guidance or insight from someone who may have been in my position before.

    I'm 38 and have been divorced for 2 years. I have been dating a wonderful man for a little over a year. He is wonderful to me and I know he loves me. My problem is that I can't get over his past. It bothers me to know that he was married and had a life with another woman before me. I can't stand to think about him building a life, a house, kids, and everything else that goes along with marriage with someone else. I have just spent the weekend with his sister and it seemed like she talked about the ex-wife non stop. His sister hates his ex-wife and spoke very poorly of her but we still spent a great deal of time talking about the ex-wife. I feel so immature that I'm struggling to get past these feelings but I am truly having a hard time with this. What's even more ridiculous is that I was married for the same amount of time and had 3 children. My boyfriend never feels jealousy (or never mentions it).

    I hope there is someone out there that has experienced the same feelings and can shed some light for me.....

  2. #2
    Speranza
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Location
    UK
    Age
    56
    Posts
    1,761
    Gender
    Female
    The detail you add at the end DOES make this seem a little odd, yes. It's just a matter of mental discipline I think.

    And perhaps learning to change the subject very gracefully to something positive when she comes up in conversation. Or if you can't do that, have a phrase at least in your head, like: "Let's leave the past in the past."

    What would you say to reassure your partner if he had these feelings about your past?

  3. #3
    Crazyaboutdogs
    Platinum Member Crazyaboutdogs's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    Canada
    Age
    53
    Posts
    25,673
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    20
    Are you generally a jealous person? Did your ex husband have a past when you got together with him? If so, were you jealous of his past? Why did you and your ex divorce? Is it possible you have some unresolved issues from your marriage which you are bringing into this relationship? I guess I could understand your feelings if you yourself had never been married, but you have...you basically had the same life experience as he has had. This is your second time around as well as his.

Top Threads
Tired of Being His Provider??
Okay so I found this site through Google. This seems like a pretty common topic and I suppose I just need to vent. My husband has been unemployed
Starting to freak out, marriage, kids, money, house etc.
Hi, pretty new here. Ok, so girlfriend and I have been dating for little over year and a half, living together at her trailer she owns for last four
Needing advice on how to handle some things
I am not sure where to start but im going to try to properly ask for help Me and my boyfriend are a couple for 9 years now. And i am extremely
Newly Wed to an Addict
My husband and I got married last December and our one year anniversary is coming up. He is an addict but when he proposed and during our year of
Mother in law visiting,staying 2 weeks
So my MIL will visit us to meet our newborn(2 months old now),she lives in an other country and is staying 2 weeks.Me and her we never got along
Learn to be myself in my marriage
Hi all - I'm looking for new tools / perspectives to keep my marriage (12 years) alive. My wife is fairly dominant and outspoken and has the need
Nearing the line, but not crossing it
Hello, I am newly married and in need of some advice or thoughts in general. My husband and I have been together since high school. When we

Expert Advice
Featured Threads
Tired of Being His Provider??
Okay so I found this site through Google. This seems like a pretty common topic and I suppose I just need to vent. My husband has been unemployed
Beautiful women who works at lush...
So there is this a girl who works at this place. I've been in there twice now and she is a stunner. Its one of those girls who you have to look twice
Being left for another man by my ex girlfriend
My and my ex gf broke up 7 months ago back in late April. We had bad fights and she stated she was unhappy. She then proceeded to have an active
Wondering?
Ok, I posted before about my situation but I would like to further talk. This woman I became involved with 3 years ago TOLD me she had feelings for
Break up Advice Needed
Hi all, I really need some advice on my recent break up with my girlfriend of almost five years. A few months ago I started to feel unhappy and
She's getting ready for marriage. She thinks that it is what I want. My fault.
So, I am pretty much in a difficult situation. I have been with a girl for the past 4 years. In these 4 years, after a while I realized she really
Venting - Advice...?
Hello, Im a 36 year old male, married with 3 kids. My wife and I are pretty much like roommates. There is zero sex life and its from both ends
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •