Ask For Advice
Page 1 of 4 1234 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 33

Thread: VERY upset and can't stop crying

  1. #1
    adequate
    Bronze Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Posts
    212
    Thanked
    4

    VERY upset and can't stop crying

    Hi all. I had a great day off enjoying the 80 degree rare weather in my area and I had a friend over and I sat out on my patio for the first time in my new beautiful condo. Everything was great until about an hour ago.

    I was in my bedroom when I heard this slight banging noise from the wall. I heard very slight moaning and I figured out it was my neighboor having sex. I met her and she is very nice and probably around my age or a little older (46-50) and I figured she was alone too like me. Well I was wrong! I guess I took comfort in thinking that because I did not want to face what I just realized tonight:

    I am still hurt by my ex husband leaving me 4 years ago. Some of you know my story and some of you don't but what it comes down to is I am so afraid and so hurt by what he did to me I can't ever take a chance again on love. I just want to not want to date anybody. After hearing my neighboor having sex it made me realize I am not dead yet (libido and otherwise) but wish I did not care about wanting to be with someone again. To tell you the truth sometimes I go on the breakup and divorce forumns just to keep convincing myself that is where I will end up again if I get into another relationship.

    I am so upset that I am upset. I LOVE my new condo and I don't want to feel this way now. After 4 years you would think I would over my what my ex did to me but I am not.

    Thank you all for listening .

  2. #2
    Tony01
    Member Tony01's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Location
    Northeren Ireland
    Age
    24
    Posts
    106
    Gender
    Male
    Whats a condo

  3. #3
    annie24
    Super Moderator annie24's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Age
    36
    Posts
    46,224
    Thanked
    1391
    Quote Originally Posted by Tony01 [Register to see the link]
    Whats a condo
    it's a flat that the OP owns. short for 'condominium'

    weathergirl - the bad news is that this woman has a lover and you don't. The GOOD news is that she is an 'older' lady and has a lover!!! that means you can find one as well. it's not like you've lost your last chance at love. you can get out there and meet someone. my mom remarried at 63. it's never too late.

  4. #4
    Tony01
    Member Tony01's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Location
    Northeren Ireland
    Age
    24
    Posts
    106
    Gender
    Male
    i agree with annie24 best thing is to go out and enjoy youself remember you only live once you never know what youll find along your way

    hope it goes well for you

  5. #5
    adequate
    Bronze Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Posts
    212
    Thanked
    4
    Quote Originally Posted by annie24 [Register to see the link]
    it's a flat that the OP owns. short for 'condominium'

    weathergirl - the bad news is that this woman has a lover and you don't. The GOOD news is that she is an 'older' lady and has a lover!!! that means you can find one as well. it's not like you've lost your last chance at love. you can get out there and meet someone. my mom remarried at 63. it's never too late.
    Actually I can't Annie because I am too afraid. That is what I figured out tonight. I just can't take a chance again and I was ok with it for 4 years until tonight.

  6. #6
    Crazyaboutdogs
    Platinum Member Crazyaboutdogs's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    Canada
    Age
    53
    Posts
    25,673
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    21
    I am sorry that the love sounds of your neighbour brought everything up again regarding your ex. I would have thought condos were more solidly constructed that you wouldn't hear the neighbours having sex. I feel the same way as you...on the one hand I would like to be with someone, on the other hand I am fed up with being treated with disrespect by men who have issues, and just don't want to be bothered dealing with someone else's BS. I have seen far too many unhappy people in relationships who would have been far better off not married, than in the marriages they ended up in. Part of me is relieved that I am not stuck in a horrendous relationship or marriage, and part of me is sad that I never found anyone decent to have a happy and healthy relationship with. It is hard thinking that this is it, I was meant never to find love..but then I look at many married people in miserable relationships and I realize that they never found love either, despite being married and having sex with their partner.

  7. 04-02-2010, 10:21 PM
    Reason
    duplicate

  8. #7
    annie24
    Super Moderator annie24's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Age
    36
    Posts
    46,224
    Thanked
    1391
    maybe it would be a good time to sit down and figure what you are afraid of and how to deal with it.

    love is a risk, for sure. but it has rewards. if you are afraid of divorce, well, you don't have to marry again. you can simply date. i know many people who do that. what i'm saying is that you don't have to dive right into the dating/relationship pool. dip your toes in. start hanging out with some nice men again.

    have you seen a counselor about the breakup of your marriage? it might be good to have someone to talk to.

  9. #8
    annie24
    Super Moderator annie24's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Age
    36
    Posts
    46,224
    Thanked
    1391
    i have a condo too and hear my neighbors having sex. i think it's funny. i also have a neighbor who vacuums EVERY saturday night at around 11 PM for the last few years now. very weird.

    anyway, it's scary to think about having your heart broken again, but i think it's even scarier to be alone for the next 50 years of your life (let's assume you'll live to 100). why did you and your husband break up? did the breakup come out of nowhere?

  10. #9
    adequate
    Bronze Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Posts
    212
    Thanked
    4
    Hi CAD thank you for your input. Actually my condo is the on the end and it is a ranch and the only part that is attached to the condo next to me is my bedroom. The front of my condo faces the side so it actually looks like a house but I really could not hear them moaning until I put my ear against the wall and they were going at it very hard but it was very faint. But I do realize there are so many people out there that are in unhappy relationships and I have been using that to try to make myself feel better and to try to live a happy life without even ever dating again. I guess the question is should I never date again and have that part missing or date again and end up probably getting hurt again. I don't know.

    I am sorry you never found love CAD. I have been reading your posts for years and you are so intelligent and would make a great partner for someone. That last thing you said about many married people who ended up miserable did not end up finding love either. Very powerful statement.

  11. #10
    adequate
    Bronze Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Posts
    212
    Thanked
    4
    Quote Originally Posted by annie24 [Register to see the link]
    i have a condo too and hear my neighbors having sex. i think it's funny. i also have a neighbor who vacuums EVERY saturday night at around 11 PM for the last few years now. very weird.

    anyway, it's scary to think about having your heart broken again, but i think it's even scarier to be alone for the next 50 years of your life (let's assume you'll live to 100). why did you and your husband break up? did the breakup come out of nowhere?
    Annie I came home one night from being out with a girlfriend and all of his stuff was gone with a note saying he wanted a divorce. He kissed my bye earlier in the day and told me to have a good time. Turns out he was having an affair with someone at work and now he is married to her.

  12.  

Page 1 of 4 1234 LastLast
Top Threads
Crazy in love or legit?
I have been talking to this really nice gentleman thru Skype and FaceTime or WhatsApp every single day. We have a lot in common and the same age
did i say the wrong thing? confused
I really have been dating with a girl and 3 days back was the first time we spend time at my place. We were having a good time launging and playing
What should I do?
So there's this girl, ( but isn't that how the story always goes.. ) but I'm not sure if mine is your typical "Boy meets Girl" kind of story. I'm in
Being an Introvert ruining my life
I have lived with my partner and his family for many years, however things have been getting harder for me socially. I am an introvert and find it
Bringing Up the Past
Hi and thank you for reading this. I need some advice - possibly on a legal note. Somebody I know sent a close relative of mine a nasty
Feelings of Being Unwanted and Being a Boring Person
I am new to this forum, but i stumbled upon it looking up some information on self growth and feelings of inferiority. So I wanted some anonymous
I fear that I'll never move forward in life
Hi everyone, So, my issue here is that I'm scared that I'm never going to move forward in my life. I'm scared that even in a few years from now
Featured Threads
Is he still in love with his EX?
I met this great guy at work (last November), he just got out of a painful breakup (last September) during that time he kept communicating with his
Can't get over girlfriends past
I've been dating this girl for about 5 months and its going great. The only issue is that I can't get over her sexual history. There are several
I dont like my girlfriends new piercing
So my girlfriend went and got nipple piercings knowing that i didnt like them and didnt tell me she was gonna get them. They are a really big turn
What I am to her ?
hey guys I want some counseling .. I met a girl online .. At first she said that she doesn't wanna fall for me and we will be just friends .. I said
I want my family back
Hi, I was dumped on New Years Eve by my ex girlfriend of 8 years whom I have a 6 year old with. We have been arguing for the past few months prior to
Anxious and depressed about being 32 yo and not married
I could really use some kind and encouraging words right now because I wake up every morning to an intense feeling of pain because I am alone. I'm 32
Ex (dumper) delays giving keys back. Why?
First time poster. Been viewing threads somewhat regularly for a few months now and figured I'd get a few opinions. I'll give a little of the
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •