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Thread: Feeling like you will never find someone so perfect for you again and then you do... sucess stories?

  1. #31
    Platinum Member Jd1983's Avatar
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    Several years ago, I was with an ex for 3 years. I knew that he was a great guy, and everyone around me thought so too. Considering that I'm Asian, and he was Asian - my family welcomed him with open arms. I knew he loved me, and treated me well, but I just never felt as though he was "the one" for me. My friends and family all told me not to break things off with him, because it won't be likely I would find someone like him again. Against their wishes, I went ahead and broke things off with him.

    The next relationship I had was a drastic change. He was nothing compared to my ex, and I began to wonder if it was a mistake to break things off with the previous one. In any case, I realized that he wasn't right for me either.

    I then met my current bf. My family wasn't too happy at first with me dating him because as mentioned earlier, he's not Asian, but they soon began to realize the type of person he was and the way he treated me. Now, he's included in all family gatherings. I never thought I'd find someone who treated me the same way my ex treated me, but yet so much better. He is much more attentive, and he knows exactly how I'm feeling just by the way I'm talking or laughing. He has a great sense of humor, there is never a dull moment when we're together. He's very protective of me (not in a controlling way), and would make sure that I knew I was in safe arms as long as he was there. I know there's nothing that he wouldn't do for me and I'm sure there's nothing I wouldn't do for him either. We're heading towards our 2nd year anniversary, and we're looking into getting married soon.

    Everything happens for a reason. I honestly believe that I made the right decision to break things off with my ex, otherwise I wouldn't have found someone even more compatible for me.

    I know that sometimes it's hard to believe, but don't despair. Just because you don't think that you will find someone more suitable, it doesn't mean that it will always be the case. Just make sure you never sell yourself short. Things happens when you least expect it.

    I never did mention how I met my bf - well, I was his supervisor and his dad was my supervisor. Like I've said, things happen when you least expect it. We're no longer working there, but we were dating for a good year, and co-workers were none the wiser.

  2. #32
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    Originally Posted by Jd1983
    I never thought I'd find someone who treated me the same way my ex treated me, but yet so much better.
    This is exactly the sort of thing I was looking for! That's such a great story, really gives me hope Thank you!! x

  3. #33

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    Yes thankyou to everyone who posted, was definitely some stuff i needed to hear.
    It's hard when your ex was both amazing and an * * * * * * * , because you wonder if you will ever find someone who has all those good qualities plus more. and whether it was worth putting up with the ex's crap for all the good things (even though i know the bad outweighed the good).

    Just in response to those saying that it's harder for guys, look at the responses you're giving - that the women aren't good looking enough. (or have kids - i understand the kids thing - but then again if they are everything else you were after would this be such a problem?)
    Anyway with the physical thing, i can't help but wonder if this is why you're having trouble? If you only ever go off the physical image you're probably not going to have a great relationship and only end up getting hurt.
    To be honest it's a guys personality that i find most attractive. And the more genuine, honest, loyal and supportive he seems, the more i am attracted to him. Looks really don't matter at all to me.

  4. #34
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    Ok I couldn't help myself here, but I have found that people in general have a habit of being "not nice" shall I say. One wants to think they're the fairer sex or that one can be generalized, but the truth is that's not the case. Men and women are just as capable of being vapid, mean, untrustworthy, discriminitive, decrepit, the list goes on. I know it ain't pretty, but the truth is that is the world that exists today and that is what is out there.

    I think what makes it so hard sometimes to forget an ex we loved is also due in part that it's just so darned hard to find someone decent in this world. A population of almost 7Billion and it would seem we're not all compatible. Go figure. You have shows like Jersey Shore which demonstrates people living an impossible standard, of which causing people of varying generations to idealize the lifestyle or to liken or promote the behaviours shown. I'm not advocating shows be censored, but it shows where societies view lies. I say this because I have found myself at the brunt of such behaviour fairly regularly myself and I know for me I feel this could be better.

    Looks aren't supposed to be important right? Yet when I was trying online dating, the numbers are equal when comparing experiences of what I got and what others, maybe more naturally beautiful achieved. I found that as much as women or people want to stress how they're looking for a decent guy who is nice and considerate, doesn't become disrespectful, who does sweet things, who listens. Whatever furthest from looks being important alone. Yet none really ever responded to me nor did I encounter second dates. Yet the moment I encountered a good looking guy's profile acting like Mike from Jersey Shore, I found he could be an air head and still get more success. I wonder why that is.

    Maybe the internet dating sites aren't a best place to go find your "soul mate" or future spouse, but heck where else does one go. I swear that it's becoming increasingly hard to find this decent person I seek for because it's not becoming a reality anytime soon.

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  6. #35

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    Yes you can and I know some people that do this. However, this is against what mother nature intended. This is modern society's way of taking care of the population problem. You generally can't raise good and stable children if all you ever have is 2 year relationships. Heck it takes 9 months, on average, just to give birth to one. Monogomy has its purpose. Without monogomy there is no future.

  7. #36
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    Monogamy is not something that is right for everyone. There are people who are simply not built for it. i don't think it's accurate to suggest that "mother nature" has intended for everyone to find "the one." And therein lies a huge issue with human relationships.

    There are plenty of people in the world who feel crowded, stifled, and miserable when they're with one person for too long. The problem occurs when people who shouldn't be married try to make marriages work. Frankly, some people should not ever be married. And that's okay. We need to start telling people that long term relationships, marriage,e tc, these things are not for everyone.

  8. #37
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    Bump for those moving on

  9. #38
    Gold Member 3Tears's Avatar
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    I dated this beautiful girl 3-4 years ago that I ALWAYS thought she was out of my league, (not anymore though hitting the gym turned me into a solid 9 hahaha) the relationship only lasted around 2 months but it stung because she was super hot and my self esteem hit rock bottom, I was a super skinny guy and I kept telling myself that I would never get a chick because of how skinny I was... thats when my bodybuilding days started and I developed a passion for it, literally a year later I met my current ex gf that I spent 2 years together with, it was amazing! But like I said, shes my current ex now, BUT she was so much better than my other ex, it wasn't about looks with this girl, we connected so deeply, we used to talk every day without a miss for those 2 years. We would joke around, play video games together, she even started hitting the gym with me! She supported me with bodybuilding, she would listen to me. It was 100x better than ANY of my past relationships.

    What I'm trying to say is that, you will always find someone better, but it may not last forever, and if that day comes, when you have to break up and move on always remember that you will find someone better than the last.

  10. #39
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    I stated reading your post thinking "Geeez, I wasn't really thinking about 'better looking', more better match." but then you went on to explain yourself

    Thanks for your take on the subject. I'm hoping my best one is yet to come. I would hate my relationship peak to be a past love. I thought some of these stories would help others

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