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Thread: "if you are looking to break up, you will always find a reason"

  1. #1
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    "if you are looking to break up, you will always find a reason"

    No two people are 100% compatible.
    No two people always agree on everything.

    I have started to think that when people end relationships (which were not abusive / toxic in any way e.g. emotional, physical etc), they look for reasons to get out. And given that no relationship is ever perfect, the moment one person starts picking and finding fault, there are never any shortage of reasons / incompatibilities that he / she finds.

    A classic example is the man having a mid-life crisis who ditches the wife who stood by him and gave him children, for the young cute secretary. He will say, "There was this way or that way in which the marriage wasn't working out." In reality, it is his own mid-life crisis that is the issue - picking on the one or two incompatibilities (which face it, will be there with ANY woman) is just a way of making himself feel better about his decision.

    Of course, there are plenty of examples from women doing the same kind of thing.

    It makes me think, that what people say out loud as the reason for breaking up cannot be taken at face value. This goes for whether the relationship is 2 weeks old or 20 years old.

  2. #2
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    No you're probably right, whatever someone days is the reason for breaking up, there's always going to be little nuances which are unsaid and unknown unless you were I'm the relationship. I would like to think though that communication would generally win the day, perhaps that's a fools notion.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member petite's Avatar
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    Agreed. Nothing more to add. I feel like you're onto something and there is always more to the break up. I haven't been proven otherwise yet and people don't just break-up for the hell of it. No happy couple or individual leaves their significant other "just because they feel like it". There is a reason. Always. Most of the time, they provide you with the wrong one, why.. I don't know.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Rob1000's Avatar
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    I agree. As soon as my ex started having doubts she came up with things like "we're just too different, we don't like the same things, we have nothing in common". I mean it took her 5 years and 6 months before our wedding day to figure that out!!? C'mon.. so yeah I agree with you. She wanted out and was just making excuses.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member quirky's Avatar
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    You are right to some extend. In some cases though it takes a while and also certain events for one to understand the nature of the other. Difficult situations, that's what tests a relationship even a friendly one. We have a saying here that goes "You can tell who is a good captain in stormy weather".

  7. #6
    Platinum Member Live-N-Learn's Avatar
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    When my X broke up with me she said she just had personal stuff in her life she had to deal with and needed space.

    3 weeks later she said it was because I traveled to much

    7 weeks later the truth came out. LOL

    This is very common. Many times they don't want to hurt our feelings and make it too personal. If you somehow down the road once you are both over each other and can talk. They will probobly tell you the truth if you ask. It takes time.

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    That's true but don't negate the fact that some relationships SHOULD end but have two people in it who refuse to do anything positive for themselves and stay in misery. Then there is that....


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