Ask For Advice
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 19

Thread: does she want me to break up with her?

  1. #1
    mr.mac
    Silver Member mr.mac's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Location
    Chicago
    Age
    41
    Posts
    609
    Gender
    Male

    does she want me to break up with her?

    I've been thinking for a while now that perhaps my girlfriend wants me to break up with her. The latest example was this past Saturday. It was my birthday and we had plans to go to my mother's house for dinner. She came to my house first and was acting very strange. Very quiet. In the car she was quiet and only gave me short responses. A lot of "uh-huh" and "yeah" responses. So, we get there and she's mostly all right. She's usually quiet in group settings so there wasn't anything odd about that, but then we leave and she's silent in the car on the way home. We get to my house and she sits in a chair by herself, not on the couch next to me. And she just watches the Olympics. Now, I'm sort of annoyed. I am very affectionate and I long for affection from her...and she knows this. For her to not want to sit by me, kiss me, hug me, let alone actually talk to me, was very disappointing. I decided to go to bed at 10, so we did and she got in bed without saying a word to me. I finally said goodnight and I kissed her and went to sleep. The next morning...same thing. I make us breakfast, we eat in bed and she says nothing to me. After we finish and we lie there for a while I just turn on a movie. When it's over she gets up, gets ready to go home and then she goes home. Later in the day I send her a text saying that I'm not sure what i did wrong, but it feels like she's breaking up with me. She responded with "I was having a bad day. Not everything is about you." So, the one day a year that actually is about me is not about me because she's having a bad day? I don't get it. It just feels like she was being incredibly selfish. Like she decided that her bad mood was going to rule the day. I also don't get why if she was having a bad day that she didn't say something to me or let me know what her deal was. Instead she acts like she'd rather be anywhere but with me on my birthday and, honestly, it really hurt me. So, I guess, I'm wondering if this is her way of getting me to end our relationship???

  2. #2
    curious11
    Silver Member curious11's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Posts
    583
    Gender
    Male
    Its a possibility. Usually what our heart is telling us is true. But, for the most part, we ignore it.

    The only thing you can do is sit back and relax and just be happy with yourself. Take the focus off her, and dont bug out about it. Take a few nights and have some fun. Give her some space.

  3. #3
    alli
    Platinum Member alli's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Age
    32
    Posts
    5,471
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    307
    I would ask her why she was having a bad day & see what she says. Kind of sounds like she probably wouldn't give you a straight answer anyway.

    If she continues acting weird, I'd straight up ask her if she wants to break up.

  4. #4
    Sanesoul
    Platinum Member Sanesoul's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Posts
    2,324
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    4
    Given your history with her, I'm not sure I would have the mental energy to stay with her. Despite whether she wants to break up with you or not, she is messing with your head and making you miserable.

    I would rethink the relationship and decide if all this is worth it.

  5. #5
    mr.mac
    Silver Member mr.mac's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Location
    Chicago
    Age
    41
    Posts
    609
    Gender
    Male
    Quote Originally Posted by curious11 [Register to see the link]
    Its a possibility. Usually what our heart is telling us is true. But, for the most part, we ignore it.

    The only thing you can do is sit back and relax and just be happy with yourself. Take the focus off her, and dont bug out about it. Take a few nights and have some fun. Give her some space.
    I agree and I'll try.

    Quote Originally Posted by alli [Register to see the link]
    I would ask her why she was having a bad day & see what she says. Kind of sounds like she probably wouldn't give you a straight answer anyway.

    If she continues acting weird, I'd straight up ask her if she wants to break up.
    I asked what was wrong. And I mentioned that it felt like I had done something to upset her. She said I did not.

    Quote Originally Posted by Insane Heart [Register to see the link]
    Given your history with her, I'm not sure I would have the mental energy to stay with her. Despite whether she wants to break up with you or not, she is messing with your head and making you miserable.

    I would rethink the relationship and decide if all this is worth it.
    Insane Heart, I didn't realize you were up to date on all my relationship craziness. Nutty, eh?

    As far as rethinking...she sent me a text saying that we had to have "a serious talk"

  6. #6
    ToF
    Platinum Member ToF's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Location
    US
    Posts
    4,321
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    1
    I just went through and read a lot of your posts, and it sounds like you've had A LOT of issues with this girl.

    May I ask...what about this relationship is worth it to you?

  7. #7
    oldenoughtoknow
    Platinum Member oldenoughtoknow's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Age
    56
    Posts
    2,923
    Gender
    Male
    Thanked
    3
    It sounds like she is ongoing bad news. Not even any birthday nookie? No B&B? Sheesh! That's happened to me once before, and I turned it into a huge argument before "my day" was over - we broke up two months later. She obviously doesn't have any respect for you. And then she had the nerve to tell you to not think it's all about YOU?!? Don't put up with that kind of crap. Life is TOO short.

  8. #8
    lostandhurt
    Platinum Member lostandhurt's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    California
    Age
    53
    Posts
    6,925
    Gender
    Male
    Thanked
    2546
    This stuff is still going on???
    I think the serious talk is way over due. Before the talk think about what you want out of life and a relationship. Has any of this been what you want? I don't think so.
    Sharing the good times and bad is what relationships are all about and she wouldn't tell you what she was feeling?
    I won't write what I first thought when I read your post but I will tell you I have a very bad feeling for some reason. For a moment leave her out of everything and think about just you and your life and what you want. Then bring her back into the picture. What do you see?
    One last thing. Say you were single and your friend wanted to fix you up with this girl and he described your gf to a tee. I mean everything! All the drama, all the problems and the numerous other things. Would you go out with her?

    Lost

  9. #9
    mr.mac
    Silver Member mr.mac's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Location
    Chicago
    Age
    41
    Posts
    609
    Gender
    Male
    Quote Originally Posted by TwistOfate08 [Register to see the link]
    I just went through and read a lot of your posts, and it sounds like you've had A LOT of issues with this girl.

    May I ask...what about this relationship is worth it to you?
    When she wants to be fun and be in a good mood I have lots of fun with her. I keep hoping that she will trend towards being in an agreeable mood more than not, but she is regressing, obviously.

    Quote Originally Posted by richpart [Register to see the link]
    It sounds like she is ongoing bad news. Not even any birthday nookie? No B&B? Sheesh! That's happened to me once before, and I turned it into a huge argument before "my day" was over - we broke up two months later. She obviously doesn't have any respect for you. And then she had the nerve to tell you to not think it's all about YOU?!? Don't put up with that kind of crap. Life is TOO short.
    No birthday nookie. A peck hello and a peck goodnight was all I got. I don't even mind the lack of sex, but the coldness that I felt from her really stung (and still does).

    Quote Originally Posted by lostandhurt [Register to see the link]
    This stuff is still going on???
    I think the serious talk is way over due. Before the talk think about what you want out of life and a relationship. Has any of this been what you want? I don't think so.
    Sharing the good times and bad is what relationships are all about and she wouldn't tell you what she was feeling?
    I won't write what I first thought when I read your post but I will tell you I have a very bad feeling for some reason. For a moment leave her out of everything and think about just you and your life and what you want. Then bring her back into the picture. What do you see?
    One last thing. Say you were single and your friend wanted to fix you up with this girl and he described your gf to a tee. I mean everything! All the drama, all the problems and the numerous other things. Would you go out with her?

    Lost
    Still going on. You make lots of good points. And after my original post she has said all sorts of random things to me. Things that were "disturbing" about my birthday night. It was like everything I said was analyzed and taken out of context to the point that she is questioning me about everything that said to other people. For example I mentioned to my brother's new girlfriend that we should all get together for game night. I have other friends that want to do things, but we can never get things worked out, so I randomly thought, on my birthday, that a game night would be a fun way for everyone to get together and socialize. That was apparently disturbing. I have no idea why. I don't know if it was disturbing because she doesn't like to play games or because I didn't first discuss it with her. I have literally no idea. It popped into my head and I threw it out there. It wasn't like I just wrote a new scripture passage into the bible of our life or anything. Just a random thought. She is making me want to scream the f-word.

  10. #10
    VeraLynn
    Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Arizona
    Posts
    85
    Gender
    Female
    I don't think she's trying to get you to end the relationship-- but I think the work a relationship requires is really off balance. If she's truly that selfish you should take a few weeks to yourself and figure out if it's what you want. Plus, a few weeks of "space" might actually help her realize that you're truly important and you do matter too. When I was about 1 year into my relationship mine was treating me the same way; he took me for granted. I decided to clear my head and took a one week vacation to get away from stress. I didn't call and made it a point to leave my phone off just to be away from the norm-- when I got back, boy was he different! It gave him the chance to miss me.. sometimes that works wonders.

    I do commend you though, not a lot of guys would go through what you are (I read your prior posts). She needs to realize that you're a prize and I think you need to realize it as well. There are tons of girls that would appreciate your actions, I recommend you re-evaluate the situation and find out what you truly want. Put her wants aside and act on what you want and what makes you happy. Life shouldn't be a struggle all of the time, nor should relationships.

  11.  

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Top Threads
Boyfriend of 7 years got someone preg while we were on a "break"
This is a very long story so im going to do my best to give an overview thats not too long. We have been together 7 years. I was about 25 he was
What are the possibilities of him to forgive me?
Hello While I(32, Italy) had the relationship with my boyfriend (35) , I was sending intimate pics and videos to another guy (45) from another
SO is upset that they're not invited to a holiday
Hi, 2 weeks ago, I discussed plans with my SO to join me on a family holiday. They said they would love to but that they could not afford it. A
Engaged.
It happened. Most unromantic thing ever, but it happened. Ended up over a lunch table outside in Miami Beach, so coulda been worse, but the ol'
Wife's Midlife Crisis and Emotional Affair
Ok, at this point, I'm just looking for perspective, thoughts, feelings about dealing with a spouse going through a midlife crisis, and an emotional
The most difficult situation of my life
Hi guys, I would like to make it as short as possible.So basically my story start on the high school, 4 years ago. I went to the first class and met
My boyfriend wants me to move in with him. HELP!
Hi. I'm 22 years old, and my boyfriend is 23. We have been together for a year now and during this past year we have been through a lot of struggles

Expert Advice
Featured Threads
I didnt know this was cheating until i saw how much it hurt him
So my boyfriend and I have been together 8 months. It's been pretty close to perfect over all until last weekend. We trusted each other before this
Interview Vibes
Hello, eNA! I have posted a few times about my career search - thank you all for the help! I've been having a lot more luck lately and have four
Ex from seven years ago married
My ex from seven years got married in November 2016 he began dating this girl eight months after dumping me.hiw have I found this out? By the
❌Did i just get stood up????❌
A few weeks ago this guy and i started texting. It was a pretty instant interest right from the start, on both ends. He kept telling me how
HELP My boyfriend blocked me after an argument
Almost 3 weeks ago me and my (EX) boyfriend that ive been seeing for about a year had a huge explosive and petty fight over him being selfish/ self
My wife has zero trust in me
So we have been married for about 8 months now, everything was fine prior to marriage. From the day we got married to today, it has been a living
21, in a relationship and sexually frustrated
I'm 21 (female) and I'm dating a 28 year old. Ive had my round of men before him so I know exactly what I like during sex and he's PERFECT. But what
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •