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Thread: "being intimate" and no where to go

  1. #31

    Join Date
    Jul 2008
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    Huh??

  2. #32
    Platinum Member
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    I think it is reasonable to not have sex at either of your parents house. They pay the mortgage - they make the rules. I am sorry, but I agree with that. I didn't agree with it at first when I had my first serious boyfriend but in retrospect, I definitely do.

    I think that for him to say sex is not romantic - well he has never done it, so you have to take that statement with a grain of salt. If you have gone as far to have oral sex, than that counts, but it is easy for someone who has had none of that to say what happens to their feelings when they have sex - that they don't consider it connected with love. There can be romantic sex where you do everything you do now - start out with bubble baths and then just go a little farther.

    I think that when you have a guy who considers candlelight dinners and etc, "romance" then most girls would have thought they hit the jackpot. It is not like he is out screwing every girl in sight and saying "its not love". Perhaps what he is really telling you is that sex isn't necessary for love. But also, I have the feeling his excuses of nowhere to do it are his way of telling you he's not ready as well. And his excuse about not wanting to do it in his bed because its boring could mean that he doesn't think that's very special to just sneak around at his parents house. I personally, for my first time didn't want it to be rushed for fear of someone coming home but at a place and time where it didn't matter if a screamed or took 3 hours to orgasm or whatever.

    I think that you really need to get to the root of things and if there is just no place to have sex - if it is really important to you then one of you needs to get your own place where you can set your own rules - and it doesnt just have to be him, you could get your own apartment too. There is such thing as "timing." If the issue is bigger than that (and NOT having sex when you are not married is not something that is any sort of plague), then maybe you want very different things in a relationship. I would find out what he thinks of sex in the context of a married couple or committed couple? If he thinks its beautiful or natural for a married couple to do it - maybe he just has more traditional ideas than he lets on and sex outside of that just doesn't "do it" for him.

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