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Thread: "being intimate" and no where to go

  1. #11

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    A hotel would be fine every once in awhile, but I can sort of see where he is coming from by making it a routine or feeling "cheap" after awhile.

    Is there anywhere else to go? Why not your house?

  2. #12
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    Hotels are way too expensive just for intimacy. Even cheap ones are $80/night these days. Maybe see if y'all can borrow someone's van. Or go camping.

  3. #13
    Member soursobgirl's Avatar
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    I just had a talk with him I like to talk to him face to face.

    A few problems that have arisen. He doesnt see the act of sex as being romantic, he thinks its purely for animal instinks to get your rocks off. He does see going to dinner, a candle lit room, a bath together as sexual but not the act of sex.

    I really honestly think its from his upbringing, coming for a strict family he was told that sex was wrong and showing emotion. His ex gf of 5 years - they never had sex either, she wanted to wait til marriage. So I dont think that he has ever been sexual connected with anyone. I told him ive been in instances were during sex that you tell each other " I love you" in the spirit of the moment and he cringed and said he isnt like that.

    I am blaming his up bringing on most of this and not being emotional available.

    He said that hotels are too expensive just to go have sex and that we shouldn't have to go PAY for a place. If I really wanted it, it would happen anywhere.

    He said just in a bed is boring - and that we need to spice it up a little.

  4. #14

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    The bit in bold is how I think.

    Why I don't get is why sex is so complicated for him. I find sex is far easier for me because I think this way.

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  6. #15
    Member soursobgirl's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by fantastic
    The bit in bold is how I think.

    Why I don't get is why sex is so complicated for him. I find sex is far easier for me because I think this way.
    He doesnt think its complicating. I have made it complicating cause I am picky where we go and I dont like doing it in his lounge room!

  7. #16

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    Originally Posted by soursobgirl
    He doesnt think its complicating. I have made it complicating cause I am picky where we go and I dont like doing it in his lounge room!
    Ok.

    Why not do it in the car?

  8. #17
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    It sounds like he is willing to take risks with getting caught in his living room, but he can't just take it upstairs for a little bit while his mom is asleep? It seems silly.

    Also, why not your house? I mean, my parents and my BF's parents aren't laying down the red carpet to our rooms to go * * * * , but sometimes when you have no other option you just suck it up and do it quietly in your room.

    If he wants to spice it up, what about outside? It sounds like you might not be up for that, but it's a thought anyway.

  9. #18

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    My boyfriend was raised from a strict background too. He didn't go past kissing with another girl before me, but it was because he didn't want to or feel connected.

    I have strong morals, but I think of sex as bringing us closer together. I think One night stands/FWB are purely for animalistic/getting your rocks off, but not when your in a serious relationship.

    I feel it deepens are bond and brings us closer together. I never feel I'm doing something wrong/dirty when I do it with him.

    It's very romantic/bonding. Thats how he feels too, we don't say any vulgarity when we talk about it we say it as sex, making love, or wanting to be inside eachother etc.

  10. #19
    Member soursobgirl's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by konstantine
    It sounds like he is willing to take risks with getting caught in his living room, but he can't just take it upstairs for a little bit while his mom is asleep? It seems silly.

    Also, why not your house? I mean, my parents and my BF's parents aren't laying down the red carpet to our rooms to go * * * * , but sometimes when you have no other option you just suck it up and do it quietly in your room.

    If he wants to spice it up, what about outside? It sounds like you might not be up for that, but it's a thought anyway.
    He doesnt have an upstairs - he its just a bunch of rooms in a long narrow house.

    haha my house I live with my 81 year old greek grandpa who complains im not married and also live with my unmarried 46 year old aunty. Im not allowed with him really in my room either.

    I just get so paranoid I am going to get caught...

  11. #20
    Member soursobgirl's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Rose21
    My boyfriend was raised from a strict background too. He didn't go past kissing with another girl before me, but it was because he didn't want to or feel connected.

    I have strong morals, but I think of sex as bringing us closer together. I think One night stands/FWB are purely for animalistic/getting your rocks off, but not when your in a serious relationship.

    I feel it deepens are bond and brings us closer together. I never feel I'm doing something wrong/dirty when I do it with him.

    It's very romantic/bonding. Thats how he feels too, we don't say any vulgarity when we talk about it we say it as sex, making love, or wanting to be inside eachother etc.
    Well my boyfriend likes it very ... hmm rough? Can we say ... he never has once been romantic with me? Ever? He says it just isnt him. He thinks that LOVE doesn't involve sex very much but more feelings and how you feel about them and view them.

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