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Thread: Comforting words for a friend whose been cheated on?

  1. #1
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    Comforting words for a friend whose been cheated on?

    I felt kind of bad for not knowing what to say to a friend of mine
    who went through so many break ups and all but one was because
    they cheated on him. So any comforting words you have that I could
    pass on? He's at the point right now where he's constantly
    asking what he's doing wrong to keep having them cheat on him
    and he doesn't want to risk dating and can't bring himself
    to fully trust anyone in a relationship with him. Thanks!

  2. #2
    Platinum Member guynextdoor's Avatar
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    Have him join this forum. He'll thank you for it. ENA is comfort food for the heart.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member OptomisticGirl's Avatar
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    Sometimes it's not what you say, it's what you DON'T say.

    When my ex cheated on me the last time I had reconnected with my best friend and when I told her she just reached over and hugged me. Sometimes there are just no right words to say to a person. Some people just need to know you are there for them and that they have your shoulder at any time to cry on....

    I asked those questions too but most of the time I just wanted somebody to listen, not really answer but listen to what was going on in my brain.

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    Just leave him alone lol

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  6. #5
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    Being there for your friend and letting him vent is more than enough help =)

  7. #6
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    [QUOTE=Anatolia;4062555]I felt kind of bad for not knowing what to say to a friend of mine
    who went through so many break ups and all but one was because
    they cheated on him. So any comforting words you have that I could
    pass on? He's at the point right now where he's constantly
    asking what he's doing wrong to keep having them cheat on him
    and he doesn't want to risk dating and can't bring himself
    to fully trust anyone in a relationship with him. Thanks!

    we say this time and time again...one person not responsible for another person cheating....he's picking the wrong people to date. there are signs ... but you need a trained and educated eye as to they type of folks you pick. i can look back now and see that both cheaters i was with had the same M.O.

  8. #7
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    the best thing someone has done for me was to just be there and ask if there was anything they could do. Sometimes its as simple as a hug or sometimes getting teh person out and distracted even if for an hour or two. Gestures like that are more priceless and needed than words sometimes. Just be there and go from there

  9. #8
    Super Moderator HeartGoesOn's Avatar
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    The kindest thing that you can do is to be there to listen. Yes, they will repeat themselves over and over again, but just remember that, that's a part of their healing process.

  10. #9
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    When I went through it the first time...the BEST advice I got was my buddy who had me look at it from a variety of sides. He supported me, but also told me to look at what I was doing that would cause my wife to look outside the marriage. He also didn't go into backlash....I fell away from those who wanted me to act out upon revenge. Most were wanting revenge and hate...and whatever they said I latched onto.
    To be there for your friend...listen to them...take them out and do things...stay away from alcohol...(tell them that absolutly under no circumstance are they to touch beer, wine or anything hard) ...the mind will send them into a crazy state....

    ...don't go religious on them...

    tell them that the other person acted wrong...but there were other circumstances...what wasn't your friend providing for him/her. Let them know that this is a VERY VERY VERY LONG process. One year later they will still be dealing with this. It'll stay in your psych for years.

    be smart and you were smart in coming in here.

  11. #10
    This is the worst idea I have ever heard. "what...providing for him/her"? Just what a person who has been cheated on needs to do - blame themselves. Holy crap...

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