I cannot attract women.

Hello everybody! I'm Franklin. I'm 20 years old, and currently a college student. During the school week I work on campus. My hobbies are video games, football, basketball, professional wrestling, My favorite food is chicken. My favorite food is chicken, and favorite meal is Shrimp Lo Mein with Orange Chicken on top! I love rootbeer. It's so good.

I never had any luck with women. I have never been kissed, been on a date, nor had a girlfriend. A woman has never been attracted to me before. Every girl who has rejected has said I have too ugly to date. Girls who I did not asked on dates also said that I am the ugliest guy there is date. I am the worst of the worst.(Don't get confused, I am saying their opinions. I am not calling myself ugly).

Sometimes when I try to meet a new girl, she gives me a negative facial expression. She makes an ugly face like "hey back off" or "is this guy really trying to talk to me?". I am not hitting on her. I am just trying to have casual conversation.

In school girls always said I am the worst looking guy to get. The worst of the worst to ever date. Schoolgirls sometimes like to rate guys. Who is cute, sexy, hot, average, nerdy, or just plain ugly. I always ended up on the ugly rating from every girl.

One of my problems is that my ears are deformed. They stretch out and curl really bad. Is this putting women off? I'm thinking about getting surgery to get them fixed. Lastic is also something I am looking into.

Last year I decided to try online dating. I sent a few girls some messages, but never got a response. One site has a picture rating system. My picture rating average is between 1 and 2 out of 10.

People often say I am a good looking guy. People at church always say this. My friends and family often say this. At first I am like " hey they are just being nice". However I am often to this by random older people. At church Sunday the pastor spoke up in prayer and made a special prayer for me(he was giving out other prayers). He mention that I am a good looking guy, and a lot people were also saying this(they don't know about my problem with women). When I was younger random people always said I was a good looking kid, and they said it to me more often than every other kid in my classes.

I have asked my friends to help me. My girl friends told me that they don't know anyone who would even go out with me once. Some have told me to turn gay to find love. A few girls told me I should wait until someone walks up to me. My guy friends tell me to get confidence. Some told me that it just takes longer for some people to get noticed by someone.

Please rate me out of ten. I want to know where I stand at the amount. I'm 6'0 and 164lbs.

2007 Senior Pictures

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2008 at an amusement park.

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Late 2009

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Currently with new glasses in 2010

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These are types of clothes I normally wear.

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Recently me and my friends have started working out together. The guys know what they are doing so that really helps me. My metabolism is pretty high so I need to continue to eat allot of healthy food. Hopefully some muscle will be built.

Theses are my standards.

1. She must be a christian. I want someone who has the same religious beliefs as I do.

2. She must be slender. I am not attracted to women who are fat. I take care of myself so I would want someone who would do the same for themselves when it comes to weight.

3. She must have class and respect for herself.

4. She must be clean. All I am asking is for a woman to take care of herself. Be nicely groomed.

5. She must dress nice. Wear respectable clean clothes.

6. We must have good commutation. I believe a good relationship needs good communication.

I am not physically attracted to black women, and most young black women my age who I know are ghetto which is unattractive to me because I am an Oreo cookie I know I am black and some people criticize me of this.

I would not say that you are an ugly guy.

Do your ears bother you personally or just the girls you try to date? If they bother you then by all means look at corrective options, but do it because you want to, not because a few girls have rejected you. If you have it done and then a few girls still reject you, you don't want to feel it was a waste of time.

Your standards seem reasonable to me.

You're not ugly... in fact, I'd say with the right attitude you could be quite suave. So it must have something to do with your attitude. And don't worry about how much you would get out of 10 with a ratings system, because to one woman you might be a 1, but to another you could be a 10.

Is getting a girlfriend on your mind 24/7? If it, that can come accross as desperation. Can you join any activities that YOU enjoy? Just for the aim of meeting new people in general and girls as friends first? Focus on having a good time, and this should attract a girl naturally. Sorry if this advice is too generic.

first off, after reading your post I was expecting you to look terrible. you look like a completely normal dude, the only thing stopping you from getting women is your attitude. you could also dress nicer, Im not trying to be mean at all but girls really dig a guy with taste. I didnt see all your pics but the polo didnt fit too well, but the point Im trying to make is you arent a bad looking guy.

you do need a complete attitude adjustment. thinking you can't get girls is a self fufilling prophecy. opposites attract and if you come off as timid noone will think youre all that masculine. you need a healthy dose of confidence, women react to this. Im not saying be arrogant but you need to know you're someone worth having. you also need to take out your checklist for potential mates, thats not how it works or realistic. if you want a checklist, change it to

1. is genuinely nice (god this is important)

2. is cute, this could mean anything. she just needs to be attractive in her own way, not meet cookie cutter requirements

3. leave communication in

but checklists are ineffective because you never know what you'll love in someone, so its better to not narrow down the options more than you have to. but you need to be confident and genuine- thats the key to being a guy a woman wants. Im pretty confident, probably to the point of being slightly arrogant, but it works for me. (even if my girlfriend wont admit it).

keep working out, go shopping with some female friends, keep your head up, and change that attitude. you could definitely get a girl.

I would not say that you are an ugly guy.

 

Do your ears bother you personally or just the girls you try to date? If they bother you then by all means look at corrective options, but do it because you want to, not because a few girls have rejected you. If you have it done and then a few girls still reject you, you don't want to feel it was a waste of time.

It has been more than just a few girls. I would say between 15 and 20 girls.

Your standards seem reasonable to me.

 

You're not ugly... in fact, I'd say with the right attitude you could be quite suave. So it must have something to do with your attitude. And don't worry about how much you would get out of 10 with a ratings system, because to one woman you might be a 1, but to another you could be a 10.

 

Is getting a girlfriend on your mind 24/7? If it, that can come accross as desperation. Can you join any activities that YOU enjoy? Just for the aim of meeting new people in general and girls as friends first? Focus on having a good time, and this should attract a girl naturally. Sorry if this advice is too generic.

first off, after reading your post I was expecting you to look terrible. you look like a completely normal dude, the only thing stopping you from getting women is your attitude. you could also dress nicer, Im not trying to be mean at all but girls really dig a guy with taste. I didnt see all your pics but the polo didnt fit too well, but the point Im trying to make is you arent a bad looking guy.

 

you do need a complete attitude adjustment. thinking you can't get girls is a self fufilling prophecy. opposites attract and if you come off as timid noone will think youre all that masculine. you need a healthy dose of confidence, women react to this. Im not saying be arrogant but you need to know you're someone worth having. you also need to take out your checklist for potential mates, thats not how it works or realistic. if you want a checklist, change it to

1. is genuinely nice (god this is important)

2. is cute, this could mean anything. she just needs to be attractive in her own way, not meet cookie cutter requirements

3. leave communication in

 

but checklists are ineffective because you never know what you'll love in someone, so its better to not narrow down the options more than you have to. but you need to be confident and genuine- thats the key to being a guy a woman wants. Im pretty confident, probably to the point of being slightly arrogant, but it works for me. (even if my girlfriend wont admit it).

 

keep working out, go shopping with some female friends, keep your head up, and change that attitude. you could definitely get a girl.

My attitude is not the problem. I've asked a few girls what is wrong with me and they always say my looks are the problem. I never said I can't never get a girl. I only mention my problem with trying to get a girl to notice me. I only said no has been attracted to me before which is a completely different statement.

I do try to talk to girls. I tried talking to this one Asian girl last week, and she ignored me. I said hello, and she gave me a negative disgusted look. She just walked off.

I don't think I posted this in the opening post, but I am not attracted to most black women. I am not physically attracted to black women, and most young black women my age who I know are ghetto which is unattractive to me because I am an Oreo cookie I know I am black and some people criticize me of this.

Bad looks? I don't know what youre talking about. Especially with a suit on, you look like the elegant man. I don't think it's your looks. You have to keep trying and not caring about rejection... it's a social skill you need to strengthen and it's a numbers game (the more you try, the better your chances to succeed are... shoot for 100 tries and I bet that long before the 100th you will have succeeded at LEAST a few times).

I do fear rejection because that's all that I've experienced. Allot of my girl friends mention that they want a man with some experience to do basic things like kissing and handling a relationship. I don't have any experience with a woman in any way.

Bashing your on race to lift up other women is a great way to go. Self-hatred is a definite turn on. Don't see why you're having problems.

You are not a bad looking guy in my opinion. If I think that then there must be some women who will find you attractive too, if you have the correct attitude and confidence to go along with it.

Btw, don't ever mention to a girl that you haven't kissed anyone before. Even if you look like a stud they will find it unattractive and a turn off.

One other thing, not that I claim to be an expert on catching women, but the opposite sex and in fact people in general tend to take you on at your own estimate of self worth. Believe in yourself!

You are not unattractive. I think you need some more confidence and perhaps some more suave clothes.

A couple of suggestions or thoughts. I think as you move on in life, I hope you can open yourself up to women who are not necessarily slender (yet who take care of themselves) and to African American women (because not all are uneducated). The more open you are, the more success you will likely encounter. Good luck!

I do fear rejection because that's all that I've experienced. Allot of my girl friends mention that they want a man with some experience to do basic things like kissing and handling a relationship. I don't have any experience with a woman in any way.

There´s nothing to fear. You´ve felt it and yet you´re still alive... The more you do it, the less you´ll care about rejection. It will just become second nature to you. More ¨normal¨ and not such a big deal and when it does, the whole process will be easier, and you´ll feel so much more confidence because it won´t matter if she rejects you. It´ll be her loss! Wish you best of luck.

I was expecting the pics to show someone ugly as well. NOT AT ALL. I like this one especially: link removed

You need to love yourself first. Why would you call your ears DEFORMED for one thing?? They are not. I wouldn't get surgery. A lot of people get plastic surgery because they have some deep insecurities and self-loathing. And guess what? The root problem is still there after the plastic surgery. Sounds cliche, but happiness DOES come from within.

And guess what, you are ear twins with one of the hottest men ever:

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I agree that your girl problems stem from your attitude and your attitude only. It IS a self-fulfilling prophesy, and once you shift your attitude about yourself, gradually the world around you will reflect that and you will start getting feedback from girls about how handsome you are, not how ugly you are.

And why are you hating on black girls! It is a cultural difference you are explaining--you feel ALL black girls are ghetto?? Then rule out "ghetto" culture if you have to rule out anything. Don't rule out a whole race of women on the assumption that they are all ghetto without exception.

You are not unattractive. I think you need some more confidence and perhaps some more suave clothes.

 

A couple of suggestions or thoughts. I think as you move on in life, I hope you can open yourself up to women who are not necessarily slender (yet who take care of themselves) and to African American women (because not all are uneducated). The more open you are, the more success you will likely encounter. Good luck!

Sorry, but I cannot date someone who is not slender. It's just not attractive to me. I keep myself healthy. At the moment I am at the proper weight and I am building muscle. I am keeping myself in shape so why shouldn't she? There are somethings we can control about our looks, and we should take advantage of it.

What types of clothes should I wear?

Please let me explain this to everyone. I am not attracted to most black women. I find most physically unattractive and allot who are around my age is ghetto. I'm not ghetto so that nearly rules me out of finding a black woman. I am not attracted some of the most popular black women like Halle Berry and Beyonce. Neither one of them is ghetto, but yet I am not attracted to them.

Bashing your on race to lift up other women is a great way to go. Self-hatred is a definite turn on. Don't see why you're having problems.

This is not hate. This is about attraction. I just am not attracted to allot of black women.

I do try to talk to girls. I tried talking to this one Asian girl last week, and she ignored me. I said hello, and she gave me a negative disgusted look. She just walked off.

I can tell you right now that Asian girls (from my experience) are one of the harder races to just "pick up". This is a generalization and not always the case, even with me, but most of them don't seem very comfortable just meeting a guy randomly. They have to be introduced to you and around you for a while before they are comfortable pursuing anything with you.

Also, a lot of them seem very click-y with there race and it can be hard to break the barrier as well.

I only said no has been attracted to me before which is a completely different statement.

 

I do try to talk to girls. I tried talking to this one Asian girl last week, and she ignored me. I said hello, and she gave me a negative disgusted look. She just walked off.

 

I don't think I posted this in the opening post, but I am not attracted to most black women. I am not physically attracted to black women, and most young black women my age who I know are ghetto which is unattractive to me because I am an Oreo cookie I know I am black and some people criticize me of this.

How would you feel if I were to tell you that most of the white and Asian women you are interested in are not attracted to black men because (for the same reasons you cite) they are ghetto? It would be interesting to see how your attitude shifts in any of these categories after a few years of singlehood. Just some thoughts.

These white and asian women don't want you because they think you are a going to steal her purse, have been to jail many times, high school drop out, and you will leave her once she has your kids.

 

 

This is not hate. This is about attraction. I just am not attracted to allot of black women.

Sure. And if you have kids with these women (and don't leave them which is highly unlikely), and you have a daugther, she will know your hatred for bw and she will feel that way about herself. These white and asian women can probably sense this about you and don't want to raise self-hating kids by themselves.

May your future kids and wife despise black women, including their grandmother/mother in law, and possible aunts/sister in law, and cousins/neices, and fellow citizens as much as you do. Goodluck.

This has gotten a bit out of control. I NEVER said ALL black women are ghetto. I said the MOST(does not mean all) black women who I know are ghetto, and that is unattractive to me. I don't have a problem respecting a ghetto person. That is the life they choose to live.

I also said I am not physically attractive to most black women. If a woman tells me that she is not physically attracted to black men then I will respect that. We all are attracted to people in different ways for different reasons. Thats just how it is.

This is not hate and you two are taking this too far. Not being attracted to one race has nothing to do with racism.

I also never said I only like white and Asian women. Don't try to put words in my mouth. I will be honest. I do prefer white women. I would date any woman of any race if I am attracted to her.

This is not hate and you two are taking this too far. Not being attracted to one race has nothing to do with racism.

 

I also never said I only like white and Asian women. Don't try to put words in my mouth. I will be honest. I do prefer white women. I would date any woman of any race if I am attracted to her.

You sound a bit defensive. I certainly never said that you only like white or Asian women. I mentioned "white" and "Asian" because you mention being "an oreo" and hitting on the Asian lady who gave you a look of disgust ... so it was a good place to start. I said:

How would you feel if I were to tell you that most of the white and Asian women you are interested in are not attracted to black men because (for the same reasons you cite) they are ghetto?

I still think it's a fair question to think about. I'm still curious how you would feel if the women you approached thought that you were ghetto. And I'm wondering how your thoughts might change if the rejection you have received continues.

I would encourage you not to confuse curiosity with taking things too far.

Do you often feel like you need to defend your preferences when you tell people that you cannot find a date?

I stopped reading after you called yourself an "oreo cookie." I'm amazed that, that term was allowed to be posted here on "ENA."

It IS your attitude..you just need some more self confidence. By the the term "oreo cookie" is so stupid. How does someone act like a race? I never understood that.

 

 

I still think it's a fair question to think about. I'm still curious how you would feel if the women you approached thought that you were ghetto. And I'm wondering how your thoughts might change if the rejection you have received continues.

 

Notice how this question gets ignored.

Like I said this is going to too far. I did answer her question. Stop trying to put words in my mouth.

I only judge people who I know. I do not look at a black woman and think she is ghetto. I have to know her first. This goes back to me saying most black women who I know are ghetto and it is unattractive.

Now let's get to the bigger picture of this. I am not physically attracted to most black women. Rather she is ghetto or not it makes little difference. I cannot control who I am physically attracted to. Black women just are not physically attractive to me. This has nothing to do with their skin color as I have found a few black women physically attractive. As we all know all races of people have different physical characteristics. I am just not attracted to the physical characteristics of black women.

I also said I am not physically attractive to most black women. If a woman tells me that she is not physically attracted to black men then I will respect that. We all are attracted to people in different ways for different reasons. Thats just how it is.

It IS your attitude..you just need some more self confidence. By the the term "oreo cookie" is so stupid. How does someone act like a race? I never understood that.

How does someone act like a race? Let me explain it to you. Society has made stereotypes of all races and also has given certain roles to all races. I don't act like a stereotype black man. Instead I act like a stereotype white man. Yes Oreo cookie does sound stupid.

I know it is not my attitude. Women do talk to me. I make them laugh everyday. My really hot friend told me that I make her day when I make her smile. However she will not go out with me because I am ugly by her standards. Throughout my life every woman have seen me as too ugly by her standards. They do tell me this.

My friends told me that I go out of my league. So I asked what is my league and who is in my league. They avoided my question for a few moments. I asked them again. They just told me they don't know anyone who would date someone who looks like me.

Hon I know it's about stereotypes but they're called stereotypes and not facts for a reason. As a black female I don't fit the stereotypes but I refuse to say that I "act white", because there's no such things. It's an insult to both blacks and whites.

Anyway I mean your self confidence. You're continuing to say that you're ugly but so far none of the women who have commented have said that. So what does that say? You're not ugly. You seem to have such high standards so why not give some girls who may not fit your standard a try? I'm not saying you should lower your standards, but explore new boundaries. You're bound to find somebody. Good luck.

Hon I know it's about stereotypes but they're called stereotypes and not facts for a reason. As a black female I don't fit the stereotypes but I refuse to say that I "act white", because there's no such things. It's an insult to both blacks and whites.

 

Anyway I mean your self confidence. You're continuing to say that you're ugly but so far none of the women who have commented have said that. So what does that say? You're not ugly. You seem to have such high standards so why not give some girls who may not fit your standard a try? I'm not saying you should lower your standards, but explore new boundaries. You're bound to find somebody. Good luck.

I apologize if I offended you. I know they are not facts. I do not see it as a fact. It's just a stereotype.

If I try girls who do not fit my standards then how is that not lowering standards?

I never said that I said that I am ugly. Can people please stop putting words in my mouth? I clearly said that WOMEN say I am ugly. Women who I went to high school, middle school, and currently college tell me that I am physically ugly.