Do your emotions fluctuate between anger, forgiveness, peace...acceptance?

In my past, I have usually just felt sad when someone is no longer in my life. I cry - probably for too long - then I get over it, and eventually meet someone else. There usually isn't anger.

This time I feel such a range of emotions - anger, then forgiveness (telling myself I am overreacting). Sadness, sometimes even peace with the fact that he is past. Acceptance has been easy for me - I've known for about a month now that I wouldn't be seeing him again.

I feel such anger and bitterness some days (which i am not proud of). Other days, I feel like it was all MY fault for reading too much into things.

This roller coaster of emotion - is this normal, or am I losing it?

In my past, I have usually just felt sad when someone is no longer in my life. I cry - probably for too long - then I get over it, and eventually meet someone else. There usually isn't anger.

 

This time I feel such a range of emotions - anger, then forgiveness (telling myself I am overreacting). Sadness, sometimes even peace with the fact that he is past. Acceptance has been easy for me - I've known for about a month now that I wouldn't be seeing him again.

 

I feel such anger and bitterness some days (which i am not proud of). Other days, I feel like it was all MY fault for reading too much into things.

 

This roller coaster of emotion - is this normal, or am I losing it?

 

I have experienced this and also asked the question whether this is normal. THis happens because our ex's did us wrong (at least in our eyes). I read the Four Agreements and since then I havent felt bitter. Sad, yes but bitter, no. The reason is that what they did to us is their reality, their negativity. It had nothing to do with us. What we have is just this moment, what we have is our reality which is completely separate from them.

I have experienced this and also asked the question whether this is normal. THis happens because our ex's did us wrong (at least in our eyes). I read the Four Agreements and since then I havent felt bitter. Sad, yes but bitter, no. The reason is that what they did to us is their reality, their negativity. It had nothing to do with us. What we have is just this moment, what we have is our reality which is completely separate from them.

I feel my anger is unfounded. I can understand when someone is cheated on or abused or treated like crap, etc.. but in a case of one just wanting more than the other - I shouldn't have anger over it.

It's normal and, yes, you're losing it - in a good way. Losing the illusion bit by bit, losing the misguided hope.

Love doesn't die because it isn't returned. It just keeps going until it slowly dies from neglect and not until it's good and ready to kick the can. There's nothing we can do about it.

Have you ever sat with someone as they die? You'll probably hear death rattles. Those fluctuations are love's death rattles.

Anger is a product of fear.

What are you afraid of? That you're not attractive enough? Good enough for love? Cause you and I both know that's bull. Everyone deserves a chance at love, no matter what. Love is not just for the beautiful people despite what the media keeps telling us.

And yes, it's normal to feel like you're on an emotional roller coaster. One day, the ride will stop, you will get off of it, and laugh about it later on when you realize it wasn't even that bad after all. You conquered your fear and from then on, you can do anything in life now!

at first i thought i was at fault. over time i have began to accept that my ex was changing with 12 months left of relationship due to external stuff. she started to shut me out and be a bit more selfish. i felt a little neglected. i now feel that she has totally changed from who i knew initially.(also in appearance) first 2 years were brilliant, last year she was changing. so i'm trying to accept that it was possibly beyond my control that she was changing. i do have down days, usually at weekends when i have a lot more spare time. occassionally when i am driving long distance my mind thinks and i shed a few tears. i have to accept the girl from teh first 2 years has gone forever. sometimes i feel sad cos we got on so well and had a lot in common. it has damaged me into questioning will i find anyone else i get on so well with and will it go wrong too?

I've never felt anger towards her, just sadness and lots of unanswered questions, I just want her out of my head now and fully move on. thankfully i have only spoke to her once since we split in june.i'm still taking it day by day. some days the sadness can hit me. i know valentines day is going to be hard. Last year that was the day that i first felt something wasnt right.

i feel sadness that i invested 3 years of my life into something i believed was the future only for it to no feel like it has been blown to bits with shrapnel scattered all over the place which i have to pick every piece up and start all over again

I just am uncomfortable with the anger I feel sometimes. I want it gone...

I feel my anger is unfounded. I can understand when someone is cheated on or abused or treated like crap, etc.. but in a case of one just wanting more than the other - I shouldn't have anger over it.

 

Didnt he leave you when you were sick?

Yes I have fluctuated between all these..well except for forgiveness. Honestly her leaving all those months back has brought up so much "stuff" I dont know what to work on and what to put on the "to do list".

Didnt he leave you when you were sick?

Yes, but we were just friends at that point (supposedly). I feel it was cold of him, but he owed me nothing. I'm sure with someone he loved he wouldn't have left her.

i felt sad for a day or 5 .. and since then pure ANGER and hatred.

i felt sad for a day or 5 .. and since then pure ANGER and hatred.

That's exactly how it was for me! But then I got sad again, and forgave him and blamed myself.

Yes, but we were just friends at that point (supposedly). I feel it was cold of him, but he owed me nothing. I'm sure with someone he loved he wouldn't have left her.

If my friend abandoned me when I was sick, I'd be angry, too. What's almost impossible to comprehend is that you have periods of time when you aren't angry.

MissKitty, you're truly, truly amazing. You really are.

In my past, I have usually just felt sad when someone is no longer in my life. I cry - probably for too long - then I get over it, and eventually meet someone else. There usually isn't anger.

 

This time I feel such a range of emotions - anger, then forgiveness (telling myself I am overreacting). Sadness, sometimes even peace with the fact that he is past. Acceptance has been easy for me - I've known for about a month now that I wouldn't be seeing him again.

 

I feel such anger and bitterness some days (which i am not proud of). Other days, I feel like it was all MY fault for reading too much into things.

 

This roller coaster of emotion - is this normal, or am I losing it?

 

Hmm normal I hope. I have been going through one hell of an emotional rollercoaster and I am having constant ups and downs and fluctuate between anger, anxiety, guilt, sadness/depression, excitement, hope and many more.

 

Each emotion is normally accompanied by a memory and I find that I am slowly having to let go of feelings associated to them memories. If you let the feeling rise in you...feel it and try to understand why you're feeling it, I find it passes much quicker.

If my friend abandoned me when I was sick, I'd be angry, too. What's almost impossible to comprehend is that you have periods of time when you aren't angry.

MissKitty, you're truly, truly amazing. You really are.

The periods when I am not angry is because I feel I shouldn't have kept friendship with someone I wanted more with - like I set myself up.

But then I think of his coldness and indifference and feel anger and bitterness again.

Just wasn't sure it was "normal" to feel such fluctuating and conflicting feelings. I am usually on a more even keel.

yes... there are some that go through such phases... me one of them

Natural. Look up Elisabeth Kübler-Ross' stages of grief. Her work deals with death and dying, but it's become a model for all cycles of grief over significant losses.

The anger you're ashamed of can be turned into a motivator, providing you don't turn it against yourself. The best working definition I've ever seen of depression 'anger turned inward'.

My best,

Cat

Natural. Look up Elisabeth Kübler-Ross' stages of grief. Her work deals with death and dying, but it's become a model for all cycles of grief over significant losses.

 

The anger you're ashamed of can be turned into a motivator, providing you don't turn it against yourself. The best working definition I've ever seen of depression 'anger turned inward'.

 

My best,

Cat

Still some anger towards him, even now. I guess the reason I don't like anger is it means there is still feeling. I won't be satisfied until I feel indifference towards him, and I'm not there yet.

The periods when I am not angry is because I feel I shouldn't have kept friendship with someone I wanted more with - like I set myself up.

 

But then I think of his coldness and indifference and feel anger and bitterness again.

 

MissKitty ... it really is OK to feel angry. We have to feel these emotions so they can work their way out of our system once and for all. Maybe you did set yourself up but that isn't your fault. You liked him a lot and he didn't exactly help by leading you on.

 

I know how easily done it is though as I do the same thing ... over and over again. Then I get angry, I moan, I post on here and then I regret it because my ex is a lovely lovely man and doesn't deserve the bad press. I truly think my ex-bf still has feelings for me but due to certain issues that were completely my fault he is afraid to commit to me. He has been honest in the past about his feelings and I therefore feel that he doesn't owe me anything. If I feel let down at times ... it is my own doing. I let him have contact with me so if I feel led on it is no-ones fault but my own. It doesn't mean to say that I still don't get angry at times though ... angry at him but, ultimately, angry at myself. Perhaps that is where some of your anger comes from too .... angry at yourself.

 

MissKitty, you have had a tough time lately. Your last two relationships prior to this ended under difficult circumstances which I myself would have had a lot of anger over and along with your illness and the situation you have been involved in recently I wonder if your anger is a culmination of all of these.

 

Whatever, you are perfectly entitled to feel this way and I would say it is perfectly normal. I think you are a strong character Miss Kitty and I feel from your posts that you are getting stronger.

Thanks, Jelly...

Yeah, I am angry at myself, angry at him, angry that I never got my closure - meaning, I never got to tell him how cruel he was to me, especially during my treatment.

He was smart to use a death in his family as an excuse to call me - he knew I could never react to that in anything but a sympathetic way.