Jump to content

Being flat-chested and dating


FloraDora

Recommended Posts

So...I am single again after two years. I am not quite ready to start dating, but I am thinking of trying the online thing in about 2 months or so...

 

Here is my problem. I have NO breasts. I am not talking about small breasts, I mean NONE...I am a 34AA.

 

I do not wish to get implants because breast cancer runs in my family. After losing my grandmother and aunt to this terrible disease, I would both feel like a hypocrite for having an expensive surgery to deal with a cosmetic problem, and I don't want to decrease my risk of early detection.

 

Honestly, I am a pretty confident person, so it doesn't me that much, except when I am dating someone new. I have not been with many men, but the few that have seen me naked often display a shocked look the first time. I never know if I should tell them in advance, wait til they realize how flat I am?

 

I know it could be a dealbreaker to some men. I want to weed them out before they get as far as seeing me naked. What should I do?

Link to comment
  • Replies 115
  • Created
  • Last Reply

It kind of depends on what I am wearing. It is hard to wear any cute tops without adding some kind of structure in that area. Even with some padding though, I don't exactly look busty. If a guy were really into big boobs, he could tell that I was not for him. It seems that guys are still surprised though when I take my shirt off though, I think they don't expect me to be as flat as I am.

 

I just hate having to go through this again. I have NOT totally ruled out implants I guess. I may talk to my doctor and do some more research on the risks involved.

Link to comment

I'm the same size you are. They don't even carry bras small enough for me at specialty stores. I've never felt like guys were shocked when they saw me though. If they were they never said anything. And honestly, if he is and it matters, then we aren't right for each other. Try not to let it get to you. It's something that's out of your control. And it can weed out the jerks who aren't with you for who you are.

Link to comment

Exactly. I've never been attracted to any one particular part of the female body. It's more of an over all thing, including your hair, your voice, how you move and smell, etc. Attraction is a multifaceted thing. So you won't bag any breast men. So what? You also might be too fat, too thin, too short, too tall, too smart, too dumb, too loud, too quiet, shall I go on? Not all men are breast men. In fact, most of the men I know prefer to go out with someone who fits the definition of being "attractive" and someone they really get along with. They never mention breast size. There's far more to the woman that a man wants to spend the rest of his life with than the size of her chest. Don't sell yourself short.

Link to comment

If it helps any I'll go on record as someone who -likes- "flat-chested" women, I have all my life. Maybe cuz I grew up in the alt-rock scene with a lot of skinny girls with no breasts. But I didn't care, I preferred it. They had nice eyes, cool style. That's way better than large breasts. It was only until a couple years ago that I actually started liking larger ones too. I still like small ones as much as I always did. I can tell you tho, as a man, when I'm looking for a girlfriend the last criteria that comes to mind are the size of her breasts. So I hope that puts you at ease at least a little bit.

Link to comment

if you find that it matters give the guy a cataloge to find what he wants

if the man love you breast wouldnt be important. as far as implants. im a man and i can see the plastic and do not like them never felt any and my ex was small. it is in the heart that make the difference, at least to me. god bless you for you.

Link to comment

Hi Flora

 

The important thing in this is that you are what you are and it sounds like you are a pretty confident lady. That is most of the battle won!

 

Sure - there are guys that want big boobs. But if you look around - there are also guys that love little boobs. There are guys that love small girls and there are guys that fantasize about big girls. We all are different, and we DON'T all want the same thing. What is perfect for one guy may NOT very well be perfect for the next guy.

 

I don't ever think I have met a girl who was truly happy with her chest size. The smaller want bigger and vice verse. I have a friend with an impressive bust and it causes her nothing but problems - backache, sciatica, sore neck - all the flippin time.

 

I think the reason that you have given not to have augmentation is a pretty darn sensible one.

 

So - you are what you are!

 

I would steer away from padded bras and the like because you really are asking to disappoint a guy when you take it all off, and your boobs vanish onto the bedroom floor!

 

Small boobs are most often VERY much more sensitive than big ones so here is an advantage YOU already!

 

Try not to be put off by guys who you say look disappointed when it comes down to it. Most of that is likely in your head. I will wager you are looking for disappointment in their eyes and they read this as something else being up!

 

Enjoy your confidence and this will really bare more fruit than anything else.

 

Hope this helps.

 

Mark

Link to comment

I'm jealous of you, if that helps at all.

 

I'm a 34C normally..with pregnancy hormones raging throughout my body i've had to purchase 34D bras..now, i'm literally spilling out of those..so 34DD, here I come...and i'm sure they'll get bigger than that.

 

Anyway, the reasoning of my jealousy is that you can wear those cute freakin' tube tops without care..those adorable backless tops..strapless dresses..without having to worry if 'the girls' are spilling out or if the top is making them look saggy or even worse like a 'uni-boob'..some of the tops I won't even ATTEMPT to wear because I just can't. Bikini tops hurt my neck because of how much my ta ta's weigh..okay, end to my whine fest.

 

If some jerk turns you down just because of your boobs..who cares, he obviously wasn't the one anyway. I know plenty of guys who welcome boobs of all shapes and sizes.

Link to comment

...About 10 years ago I was working out at the gym on a Saturday afternoon. The gym was almost empty, but at the far end of the room I saw this young woman that had the body of a boy. ( she was completely flat chested) Beside her were these two very handsome young men, who were chatting with her while she did her workout. Something seemed very strange, because I could see that both of these guys were just drooling over her, but I could not figure out why? If I saw this woman in a photograph, I would have probably mistaken her for somebody's brother.

 

I kept doing my workout, and eventually got close enough to hear the conversation between this "boyish" woman and the two handsome men, and I suddenly realized why these guys were drooling over her. ( in fact even though I was in a committed relationship at the time, I started to drool over her a little too )

 

...Her voice was soft and bubbly, and she was incredibly cute and funny. I immediately thought of the actress Holly Hunter ( from the film Always ), because it almost felt like we were on a movie set. This "boyish" woman was just mesmerizing, and I kept thinking to myself: her boyfriend must be the luckiest guy in the world, because she was just breathtaking.

 

If I showed any guy this woman's picture, they would probably think I was nuts for fawning over her, but once you met her, you instantly realized that for some people the picture is meaningless.

 

I can imagine this "boyish" woman going to a party, and pretty much having her pick of almost any man in the room...

Link to comment
Sometimeshy, you've posted that exact same story before. lol

 

Yes, I have. I thought it was appropriate here, because so many women with boyish bodies think that they aren't attractive, when they might be worrying about nothing. ( the woman from the gym was one of the most gorgeous women I've ever experienced, and you would never guess this from her appearance )

Link to comment

Thanks everyone for the confidence boost. I am a really confident person, but sometimes it helps to hear nice things. I think I am just anxious about getting "back out there" again, and it is causing me to focus on my flaws and insecurities, when I should focus on my good points.

 

I don't think I'll give up the padded bras anytime soon though, it is hard to wear cute scoop neck shirts without them. Hopefully by the time someone sees me naked, they know me well enough to like me for more than my figure.

Link to comment

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...