Ask For Advice
Results 1 to 8 of 8

Thread: How to break the ice after argument

  1. #1
    LazyDaisy
    Silver Member LazyDaisy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Location
    New Jersey
    Posts
    1,048
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    1

    How to break the ice after argument

    So my BF and I used to fight a lot. Past few months there have been no fights. Sat night we had a little fight, not a big deal, but now we are not speaking. I don't really know who was at fault so I don't know who should apologize. I feel like if neither one of us apologizes we will never speak again. Does someone always have to apologize? How can I break the ice?

    Little bit about the fight - he was 45 mins late picking me up and when he arrived I said "You are late" he said "don't start with me, whats the big deal" I said the big deal is that I rushed to get ready so that you wouldn't have to wait for me and then I had to wait 45 mins for you" he said "what am I, punching a time clock" there was some back and forth bickering. I felt he should have apologized for being late. Anyway, we went out but I think this kind of set the tone for the evening.

    We went out and ran into a lot of people we knew and it ended up turning into a really late night and we both had too much to drink. All I remember is on the way home he kept talking about a girl that was at the bar that he had met at the laundramatt. He kept talking about her on and on, so by the time we got to my house I was so mad - I told him to go out with her. I don't remember the specifics of what was said.

    Like I said, it was a stupid argument but we are not speaking. We speak every day, several times a day. I feel so worried when we don't speak, I can't eat, can't sleep, can't concentrate at work. If I apologize it will be like I am admitting guilt, and I am not sure I was wrong. How else can I break the ice?

  2. #2
    livinginsbi

    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    oHIo
    Age
    53
    Posts
    1,494
    Gender
    Female
    Ask yourself do you want to be right, or do you want to be happy? An apology can go a long way and you don't have to take blame. You break the ice, tell him that you are sorry that you two had an argument and go from there.

  3. #3
    Maroney555
    Gold Member Maroney555's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Posts
    896
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    1
    My boyfriend and I just verbally call truce, kiss and throw peace signs to eachother. Neither has to apologize and we both can move on. You can't call truce and bring it up later though. All has to be dropped. Works like a charm

  4. #4
    LazyDaisy
    Silver Member LazyDaisy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Location
    New Jersey
    Posts
    1,048
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    1
    Quote Originally Posted by Maroney555 [Register to see the link]
    My boyfriend and I just verbally call truce, kiss and throw peace signs to eachother. Neither has to apologize and we both can move on. You can't call truce and bring it up later though. All has to be dropped. Works like a charm
    I guess I can try this. Is it ok if I send it by a text? I mean the fight happened on Sat, so I can't say it to him personally. He works midnights this week and I work during the day so I probably won't be able to see him in person for a while.

    I don't know why i am getting so upset over this. I guess because I haven't slept. I don't feel good. I mean every couple fights now and then right? Its just that we were doing so good with the fights. Its been about 3 months since we had one which is really good for us.

  5. #5
    FathomFear
    Platinum Member FathomFear's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    Canada
    Age
    36
    Posts
    4,647
    Gender
    Male
    Thanked
    3
    How often does this happen? Your story gives the impression that you're generally confrontational towards each other.

    For example, instead of starting with "You're late" you might want to try expressing your frustration in a more even way. Perhaps "Look, honey, I appreciate you picking me up but I was expecting you here earlier. I know that we all run late sometimes but I need you to give me a head's up when it happens..." -- This might be a skill you both need to work on to better improve how you communicate.

  6. #6
    LazyDaisy
    Silver Member LazyDaisy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Location
    New Jersey
    Posts
    1,048
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    1
    Quote Originally Posted by FathomFear [Register to see the link]
    How often does this happen? Your story gives the impression that you're generally confrontational towards each other.

    For example, instead of starting with "You're late" you might want to try expressing your frustration in a more even way. Perhaps "Look, honey, I appreciate you picking me up but I was expecting you here earlier. I know that we all run late sometimes but I need you to give me a head's up when it happens..." -- This might be a skill you both need to work on to better improve how you communicate.
    In the past we had a lot of confrontational arguments. We have been working on it and have not had any arguments lately. I guess I shouldn't have said it the way I did, but I was sitting there fuming for 45 minutes.

    But to answer your question, generally we are very loving toward eachother. It was a bad night I guess, full moon, PMS and too much alcohol.

  7. #7
    1guygirl
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Age
    39
    Posts
    1,588
    Gender
    Female
    Quote Originally Posted by LazyDaisy [Register to see the link]

    But to answer your question, generally we are very loving toward eachother. It was a bad night I guess, full moon, PMS and too much alcohol.
    yeah i had them 3 ingredients in my recent tiff and we're not speaking

    i get how you would be mad at him bangin on about that girl...makes for uncomfortable listening doesnt it!! *funny my tiff was about him going on about beautiful girls alot*

    im doin no contact mind...i said sorry and he ignored me so letting him stew and cool off. if they dont come back, what can we do but set up a "I hate pms/full moons/alcohol all at the same time" facebook group

  8. #8
    LazyDaisy
    Silver Member LazyDaisy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Location
    New Jersey
    Posts
    1,048
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    1
    Quote Originally Posted by 1guygirl [Register to see the link]
    yeah i had them 3 ingredients in my recent tiff and we're not speaking

    i get how you would be mad at him bangin on about that girl...makes for uncomfortable listening doesnt it!! *funny my tiff was about him going on about beautiful girls alot*

    im doin no contact mind...i said sorry and he ignored me so letting him stew and cool off. if they dont come back, what can we do but set up a "I hate pms/full moons/alcohol all at the same time" facebook group
    LOL! I used to get mad at guys when they blamed things on PMS - but for me as I am getting older it is definitely a real problem. Add the full moon and some alcohol and it is a recipe for disaster. Next time I am just going to stay in!

  9.  

Top Threads
what should i do
I am 56 being in a relationship with my bf for 5 years. Its been up down up down all the time. First he cheated on me several times. Then over
My girlfriends sexual frustration is causing an uproar between us
Okay so my girlfriend has told me time after time how badly she needs me sexually and physically even though I told her we don't have time within our
My GF is not letting go
Ok long story short, I have been with my current GF for a year and a couple of months. We recently planned a trip abroad, that we have since gone on
Issue with Girlfriend's Ex BF: A multi-dimensional issue and at a standoff!
I'm looking for some guidance here and some external perspective from those who may have experienced this issue or have done research on it, or
I called my mother a B*tch
So my mother was going through my little brotherís phone and saw a text that I had sent to him last year calling her a . What had led to that text is
How can my boyfriend get over my past through a practical solution?
I had been physcl in my past bt he did not break my virgnty i said everything to my boyfrnd bt he is not geetin it out of his head he is alwys saying
Gf visiting ex bf at the hospital
From the very beginning.... I met a girl in January and talked to her here and there for a few weeks. Towards the end of February she broke up with

Expert Advice
Featured Threads
Don Juan President
I'm the president of Don Juans. I know all the top moves to make with females and I've had sex so many times. If a man needs advice ask right here.
Talk Dirty to Me!
OMGosh this is rampant. I have been serial dating in hopes of finding a long term relationship. BTW, nn the past two weeks I have been doing really
Is it wrong that I don't drive my parent's car to drive myself places as of now?
I am 20 and I have my driver's license but I don't have my own car yet so I have to rely on my parents and the bus to get me places but my parents
Friendship changes, how to deal?
Hello All, My friend and I are close. We consider our friendship like a brother & sister type. Lately, I've been noticing he has been treating me
Online Dating Descripton Sets Off Red Flags For Me, But Maybe Not for Others?
I have someone who has been giving me attention with Online Dating (yes, I thought I'd give it a gentle go. Dip my toe in the water even though I was
Help
Hi, I'm 37 and I have been with my partner for about 5 years and we have been married just under a year. About 5 months ago my now wife had an
Did you ever get over your first love? Post your stories!
Hello, I've been feeling kind of down lately because I always hear people saying that you never get over your first love, or you'll always compare
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •