Karma is a myth

There is no Karma is there? I see so many good people struggling while their ex's go about their merry way with their new partners and often never look back.

The way this guy cut all contact with me while I was in chemo and never looked back, never contacted me, ignored my one attempt to break NC - and he has not a care in the world (or so it seemed), and probably a new gf (or else he most likely wouldn't have cut contact so suddenly - he always wanted to be "friends" before)...it just PISSES me off that I could hurt so bad and he probably forgot my face by now.

People just dispose of people like they are garbage - GOOD people who stood by them. And they just sometimes never even look back (sorry, but they don't always come back).

I am ashamed I feel this way right now, but I can't help it. So many good people here whose ex's don't seem to give a crap. And I don't believe that nonsense about "oh, they could be thinking of you", or "it's not easy for them, either"....pffft....

I wish all of you strength and happiness and I hope you all meet someone who deserves you! So many good people here....

Its all about the choices WE make...

Miss K you can choose to be pissed off and spend what energy you have on being angry rather than getting healthier... or you can realize this guy wasn't much of a friend and certainly not worth getting pissed about.

We've all met people in our lives who for whatever reason don't live up to our expectations of them.

Its your choice... let go of someone who wasn't a good friend or keep being so bitter about it you aren't able to open the door to better friendships.

I know you are stuggling... but remember its about you and no one else.

What goes around really does come around, but probably not as soon as you'd like. I met up with a friend over the weekend and we were discussing her ex and the girl he's been seeing on and off over the past 2 years or so. My friend used to be the clingy and needy one while they were in a relationship and he was the one who wouldn't care as much. The girl he's on and off with now is the partner who couldn't give two hoots about him and he is now the clingy, needy partner. Taste of his own medicine.

So yea, karma works in unexpected ways.

Ehh I wouldnt worry too much if I was you about it. Some people believe in it and others dont.

One thing I will say though is this, maybe him leaving was your good karma. Sure it feels terrible, but i bet you couldnt honestly say that after the things he did you arent better off now.

But I know what you mean. I feel the same way about my situation as yours, its not as severe, but my ex cheated many times, hurt me incredibly badly and has the "good" fortune to fall in love and be in what would seem to be a happy relationship while I, a good person who never hurt her like that, wallows in misery? Doesnt seem fair.

But, I will get what I deserve, which are good things, and she will get what she deserves too. Its all about how we choose to live our lives.

Try to keep your chin up!

Its all about the choices WE make...

 

Miss K you can choose to be pissed off and spend what energy you have on being angry rather than getting healthier... or you can realize this guy wasn't much of a friend and certainly not worth getting pissed about.

 

We've all met people in our lives who for whatever reason don't live up to our expectations of them.

 

Its your choice... let go of someone who wasn't a good friend or keep being so bitter about it you aren't able to open the door to better friendships.

 

I know you are stuggling... but remember its about you and no one else.

I agree, and I HATE feeling this way. But I can't shut my emotions off and I am so angry some days. It's just so unfair that some people can hurt so badly while the ones who hurt them remain unaffected.

You have every right to feel the way you do.

You faced someone you loved not showing any care.

Not being there at all when you needed him.

Deep seated resentment is understandable.

Nothing to feel ashamed about at all.

Karma......is like hope and Faith to me.

Can't guarantee anything which will set you free of the hurt you feel.

You Misskitty16 just have to see it for what it is.

Like I have to as well.

And like yourself if the break up was to happen you would have recovered a long time ago if there was valid reason for him to leave you.

Not leave you because you were sick.

Not leave me because I was nice and she was tired of nice.

Wanting the sleeze of the night life giving herself away to people who don't truly love her.

Yeah I don't give into that "they are hurting too" ****. They made their decisions to leave, and being broken up with is almost infinitely more painful than doing the deed yourself. I am sure in some cases it hurts them too but is that supposed to make me feel better?!

Its all about the choices WE make...

 

Miss K you can choose to be pissed off and spend what energy you have on being angry rather than getting healthier... or you can realize this guy wasn't much of a friend and certainly not worth getting pissed about.

 

We've all met people in our lives who for whatever reason don't live up to our expectations of them.

 

Its your choice... let go of someone who wasn't a good friend or keep being so bitter about it you aren't able to open the door to better friendships.

 

I know you are stuggling... but remember its about you and no one else.

This is the logical choice but emotions are not logical.

We can not say "I decide that I should not hurt over what he/she has done" regardless of what we already know we should be doing.

Yeah I don't give into that "they are hurting too" ****. They made their decisions to leave, and being broken up with is almost infinitely more painful than doing the deed yourself. I am sure in some cases it hurts them too but is that supposed to make me feel better?!

I don't even think it hurts them. I think they may feel some guilt, but that's not the same thing as pain.

This is the logical choice but emotions are not logical.

We can not say "I decide that I should not hurt over what he/she has done" regardless of what we already know we should be doing.

Exactly. Maybe if I were a Star Trek character and had no emotion....

Okay, I'm going to give a dose of hopefully well-intentioned tough love here. MissKitty16, it's clear from your posts that you've had a truly rough time in the last year, especially. You truly have. I couldn't imagine having to go through what you have. I mean that. I'm one seemingly indestructible dude, and that would scare me. But you got through it. And you did it yourself.

Now, having said that. No one owes you being there if they don't want to be. Boyfriend or husband or partner alike. You can't guilt/bribe/cheat/coerce/force/cajole or manipulate anyone to be there just because you want him to be there. He is an independent human being and he's free to go where he wishes.

Now, could he have handled himself better? Absolutely. But he didn't. There's no sense in giving any more emotion or energy to thinking about it. You need to remember that you are strong, and able to move on in life away from this confidently and with purpose. Until you do, you will be miserable. You will be unhappy. And you will never find someone to whom to give your heart.

Remember your strength, MK16. There's a new sheriff in Whisker City, and she's you! So own it!

Misskitty, you are angry because you feel your time was wasted on this man for 10 months. But think about it. You might have met a man in this time and fell in love. There was nothing stopping you, was there? You just didn't happen to. If you had, though, I have a feeling you wouldn't think of this guy for a minute. I think you are angry more at yourself than at him and that he is just something you can reflect the anger onto.

Or maybe if we could just have the certain things erased from our memories which leave us hurting for so long without anyone really knowing how much we do hurt.

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind style.

Hex, I agree. I know no one owes anyone anything in this world. It just would be nice if people wanted to be there for you, especially during hard times.

Misskitty, you are angry because you feel your time was wasted on this man for 10 months. But think about it. You might have met a man in this time and fell in love. There was nothing stopping you, was there? You just didn't happen to. If you had, though, I have a feeling you wouldn't think of this guy for a minute. I think you are angry more at yourself than at him and that he is just something you can reflect the anger onto.

Hmm. No, I'm pretty angry at him, specifically. I think he was a callous individual in the end. I wouldn't have to be in love with someone to be there for them during an illness.

Hex, I agree. I know no one owes anyone anything in this world. It just would be nice if people wanted to be there for you, especially during hard times.

I understand. But we can't force that either. It's like when you WANT to find your keys, and you look and look and look and cannot find them. As soon as you stop looking for them, you usually find them. Same in life with relationships.

Well, you are a better person than he is. No doubt.

If you think karma means the universe being your own personal vengeance machine, then yes, it is a myth.

Karma is the ripple effect from your actions. Only yours.

Hex, I agree. I know no one owes anyone anything in this world. It just would be nice if people wanted to be there for you, especially during hard times.

It does hit so much harder when you are going through a tough time and the one you loved and expected care from does the opposite of what you expected.

I remember reading your posts which gave a bit about how you behave in a relationship.

I can only wish to find someone like yourself in a relationship.

So that is one positive towards moving on.

There are men out there who do want someone for who you are.

It does hit so much harder when you are going through a tough time and the one you loved and expected care from does the opposite of what you expected.

 

I remember reading your posts which gave a bit about how you behave in a relationship.

 

I can only wish to find someone like yourself in a relationship.

So that is one positive towards moving on.

There are men out there who do want someone for who you are.

Thank you, I hope so. I know I won't feel this way forever, I just have a lot of anger right now - but I'm not normally like that, as many people know.

If you think karma means the universe being your own personal vengeance machine, then yes, it is a myth.

 

Karma is the ripple effect from your actions. Only yours.

Bad things happen to good people and good things happen to bad people - how is that ripple?

I appreciate everyone's responses. I HATE feeling this way, I know it's ugly. I'm just so hurt and angry. I must let it go.

Only you can control your happiness. When you are feeling this way, try analyzing yourself. Sometimes I ask myself the same questions I would imagine a therapist would ask me, when I have weak moments.

I write the questions, then i write my honest answers... It seems to help.

Hope you are feeling better soon!

Only you can control your happiness. When you are feeling this way, try analyzing yourself. Sometimes I ask myself the same questions I would imagine a therapist would ask me, when I have weak moments.

 

I write the questions, then i write my honest answers... It seems to help.

 

Hope you are feeling better soon!

Thanks - I know I am overreacting. I need to step back and see things more clearly. Some days I just have so much anger at how I have been treated and things that have happened to me.

I understand... emotions can be so hard to deal with.