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Thread: Realistic Ways of Thinking of How to Get Back Together - SuperDave71

  1. #21
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    sadchitownguy,

    I had something similar happen to me. What drives you crazy is when you think about how wonderful you and your ex were together...how the fun, sex, communication, trust, etc all was there and continually ask yourself...Why did she throw it all away? Many times you will never know...many times they can't even tell you. I still think about how good things were with my ex and am disappointed about my relationship ending, but am out dating again and know I will find another person to share my life with. Your ex made the decision to end what seemed to you a wonderful relationship, and as hard as it is, you must move on. Actions speak louder than words...if she wanted to be with you, she would be. Everyone here advocates improving yourself, etc. It is all true, and you will be better off in the future, its just the present that is so hard to get through. We all have been there. Good luck.

  2. #22
    Bronze Member Ashsun87's Avatar
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    Superdave,

    I once emailed you years ago asking for advice on how to get my ex-girlfriend back. You gave me the perfect advice, and I followed it... for a while. I told you that she had came back, and that she had told me that she made a mistake. We got back together. You warned me that I let my guard down too soon, and that it was in my best interest to stay strong, and to make her work for it. I did not do that.

    You were right, and I'm finally taking your advice to heart.

    You are a real inspiration to me as well, and I'm glad that you took the time to write this post.

  3. #23
    Silver Member adviseseeker's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Ashsun87
    Superdave,

    I once emailed you years ago asking for advice on how to get my ex-girlfriend back. You gave me the perfect advice, and I followed it... for a while. I told you that she had came back, and that she had told me that she made a mistake. We got back together. You warned me that I let my guard down too soon, and that it was in my best interest to stay strong, and to make her work for it. I did not do that.

    You were right, and I'm finally taking your advice to heart.

    You are a real inspiration to me as well, and I'm glad that you took the time to write this post.
    I feel like I'm doing that right now!! I think I let my guard down too soon, he barely had to work for it. How do I reverse this? I don't want to be taken advantage of or used...and I'm sort of getting that feeling. I feel like he has all the power now and I'm the needy one (I'm not calling all the time, I just feel that way when we're together) so how do I get my power back as well?

    What do I do?!?!

  4. #24
    Platinum Member SuperDave71's Avatar
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    Ashsun,


    Thank you so much. Sometimes it takes the experience of others to truly understand the advice they advocate.


    Thank you again for the post.



    -SuperDave71

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  6. #25
    Platinum Member SuperDave71's Avatar
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    Nauum,


    A week to realize what you lost is NOTHING but distance. It's what's in the heart that matters. No one fades away...they walk away because they don't see the positive. People need to own up for their own behavior rather than make excuses why something can't or isn't working.

    If you are the one doing all the work and expect them to change, who is the bigger fool?


    Actions speak louder than words....


    In order to get someone to understand the loss of what they once had....heart and soul...

    They must lose it COMPLETELY to feel the regret (if any)


    It takes a stronger person to walk away rather than stand around and accept the "good enough" mentality from those that can't make up their minds.


    Love is a two way street.....if they can't walk with you, kick them to the curb. You have better things to do than sit and wait.



    -Your Friend,



    SuperDave71

  7. #26
    Very good wisdom!

    there is NO LOGIC in LOVE. NONE! As a simple example, have you ever seen your ex’s new companion? What was one of the first things out of your mouth? “Are you kidding me….THAT is who they left me for!?” is usually high up on the reaction meter.


    The art of comparison can be one of your worst enemies. You must understand that though looks are important to some, others are more emotional. If you are an attractive person and can’t seem to understand why your ex left, maybe it was because their emotional needs were met before but slacked in time or they were never met in the first place. It is not rocket science really. No matter what happened, they left you for some reason whether you understand what it is on the front in or not. It also means you may not agree with it once you find the answer but you must accept it.


    There are so many that want to argue why someone left and for the very reason why? Ask yourself this, what positive affect does arguing bring to the relationship? What positive reaction do you expect to get from a negative action? This may seem like common sense, yet in the heat of a “if you will just listen, I will explain” discussion…it typically flies right out the window.



    Another misconception is that your ex may run into the arms of another yet you have the idea that they are “just confused” and this is just a phase. To put it another way, they were so confused that they ran into the arms of another because their arms are better than yours? NO!

    They ASSUMED that someone different will bring newer and better circumstances.


    In our minds, newer is better. A new TV is bigger and looks better yet only lasts for a few months compared to an older set that has lasted for YEARS. The difference is QUALITY….not the way it appears.

  8. 02-02-2010, 09:04 PM

  9. #27
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    Originally Posted by inDenial
    I still want him back.. but I'm going to wait till I'm stable before ever talking to him again.
    Patience is your friend. If you really want a good relationship you will take the time to work on you before entertaining the thought of getting back together.

  10. #28
    Platinum Member SuperDave71's Avatar
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    inDenial,


    Thank you for your kind words


    -SuperDave71

  11. #29
    Silver Member TSandullo's Avatar
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    Gonna bump this too.

    TS

  12. #30
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    Bump for whoever needs this.

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