Ask For Advice
Results 1 to 10 of 10

Thread: He loves to get my attention....then disappears

  1. #1
    tspo28
    Member
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Posts
    26

    He loves to get my attention....then disappears

    So I've known this guy for almost a year and I see him a few times a month when we cross paths at work (my company is his client)

    I am so attracted to him but I feel like he sends mixed signals.
    He always calls me on his way home from work, we went on a date which was so much fun.

    Recently we went to a sporting event and we stayed so close the whole night always hugging and playing.

    I would catch him staring at me and then he'd smile....

    The only problem is his personality is sarcastic sometimes and i can't tell if he legitimately has feelings for me or if he can see i REALLY like him and he's using me to boost his ego...

    We'll talk on the phone all the time and text but then bam he disappears....then i won't hear from him for like 2-3 days

    it really hurts my feelings b/c i like him so much. and i find myself constantly checking my cell at work to see if he tried to text or call and then when there's no message on there i get so sad....

    i always try to let him come to me first...but usually if i don't hear from him for awhile then i'll initiate it.

    ugh...

    i don't want to look like a stalker or anything which is why i don't text/call often...but i think about him ALL the time and I love the way i feel when he's around me and when he touches me....

    what can i do?

  2. #2
    JohnnyDynamic

    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Posts
    212
    Whether he's playing with you consciously or sending mixed signals just because thats what he does it doesn't matter...mixed signals are the essence of seduction.

    Right now he is controlling the rythym...if you want more control in the relationship you are going to have to break that rythym...you are reacting to him...you need to respond to him.

    Start by not returning his texts/communications right away. When you do respond keep the responses short and sound pre-occupied...maybe hint that there is someone else involved...put the heat on him...

    Draw boundaries when you get all touchy-feely...calling you on the way home from work...no...don't respond to calls/texts cause he has nothing better to do...if you want to be gf material you are going to have to teach him...otherwise you'll wind up a FB, one night stand, or something similiar.

  3. #3
    tspo28
    Member
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Posts
    26
    wow that is a GREAT response!!! thank you SO much!

  4. 01-21-2010, 09:46 PM
    Reason
    Too jaded

  5. #4
    JohnnyDynamic

    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Posts
    212
    Quote Originally Posted by Dako [Register to see the link]
    You could ask him if he's interested in you romantically.

    Maybe it's my age, but I prefer women who say what's on their mind. Winks and giggles only go so far.
    I disagree. He'll run if you call him out. Let the process take its course naturally. Try to get verbal definitions of the relationship/intentions and you reek of insecurity and kill all excitement.

  6. #5
    Dako
    Platinum Member Dako's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    SoCal
    Age
    63
    Posts
    9,175
    Gender
    Male
    Thanked
    1
    Probably right.

  7. #6
    generaldiscord
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Posts
    1,327
    Gender
    Female
    I totally recommend the direct approach. That's, of course, because I'm too chicken to use it myself, and because I know for a fact that pretending not to be interested makes the chances of something materializing even smaller.

  8. #7
    PureGrace
    Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Posts
    43
    I would also consider his actions, if he is playin mind games? isnt that a red flag? to me if a guy is messing around now how serious or how much effort will he put into a relationship later?

  9. #8
    Clarity
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Age
    34
    Posts
    2,135
    Gender
    Male
    Quote Originally Posted by JohnnyDynamic [Register to see the link]
    Whether he's playing with you consciously or sending mixed signals just because thats what he does it doesn't matter...mixed signals are the essence of seduction.

    Right now he is controlling the rythym...if you want more control in the relationship you are going to have to break that rythym...you are reacting to him...you need to respond to him.

    Start by not returning his texts/communications right away. When you do respond keep the responses short and sound pre-occupied...maybe hint that there is someone else involved...put the heat on him...

    Draw boundaries when you get all touchy-feely...calling you on the way home from work...no...don't respond to calls/texts cause he has nothing better to do...if you want to be gf material you are going to have to teach him...otherwise you'll wind up a FB, one night stand, or something similiar.
    Ugh, welcome to game-playing 101...

  10. #9
    YakasJourney
    Gold Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Posts
    570
    Don't play games. Ask him if he wants a relationship!

  11. 01-24-2010, 11:52 AM
    Reason
    Off the mark

  12. #10
    BriarRose
    Platinum Member BriarRose's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Posts
    7,570
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    3
    2-3 days isn't ideal, but I don't think he's blowing you off. He is still calling and wanting to see you. If the most you don't hear from him is 2-3 days, I wouldn't worry too much.

  13.  

Top Threads
Has he lost interest after two days? Help!
So, i met this guy in this club on Thursday. I was just having fun dancing with my girls when he all of the sudden came from the back and started
I met an awesome guy in college but I don't know what to do!
So it's my second day at college, which is away from my home. For the first few days, the Freshmen are divided up into several small groups to do
Out of the dating scene too long
I need help, i was at a wedding last week and got chatting to a guy, we chatted all night and it was clear there was a vibe between us. he said he
Flirting or no?
My buddy and I were hanging out in a local jacuzzi after hitting the beach. Two very attractive girls walk toward the pool area loudly talking
Should I try to still pursue this guy??
I met this guy back in February, at the time I wasn't really looking for something serious, just wanted to find some people to chat with on this chat
Girls, do you find shy guys attractive?
I'm quite a shy person and going into high school and wondering if girls are maybe at all slightly attracted to that. I'm not very popular and don't
Does she like me?
Okay so I've been seeing this foreign girl for about a month now, we work together and she asked me to take her hiking about a month ago, she's

Expert Advice
Featured Threads
Weird crazy breakup
Here goes. We was together 4 and a half years, lived together for the most of that with her grandparents, yeah moved in pretty quick because of
is my bf racist? is there a future?
I am a bit dumbfounded and confused.. pls comment.. I have been dating my bf for 3 years. I look asian and he looks european. Things have not always
Great conversation but she Ghosted me?!
When I asked for her phone number, she kinda looked at me (the really dude? face). I knew it was over, but seriously it bothers me that we had a
My Girlfriend's Extreme Anger and Dramatic Behavior Are Ruining Our Relationship
This is gonna be a long one. Bear with me.. Okay, so this is my absolute first post on any forum ever. I am a 21 year old male, and I am currently in
Wrapping your head around an incurable condition
How does one do that ? While my condition is not fatal it is incurable and my life quality will steadily deteriorate over time. Most possible will
My mom kept a secret for 28 years
I'm 28 years old, my mom always told me to not sleep around, said she never slept w anyone till she got married, etc. well randomly tonight she tells
Confusing relationship with ex
So my ex and I broke up about 3 months ago. There was a lot of hurt, I was really depressed for the first weeks until I got back on my feet and
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •