Ask For Advice
Results 1 to 10 of 10

Thread: He loves to get my attention....then disappears

  1. #1
    tspo28
    Member
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Posts
    26

    He loves to get my attention....then disappears

    So I've known this guy for almost a year and I see him a few times a month when we cross paths at work (my company is his client)

    I am so attracted to him but I feel like he sends mixed signals.
    He always calls me on his way home from work, we went on a date which was so much fun.

    Recently we went to a sporting event and we stayed so close the whole night always hugging and playing.

    I would catch him staring at me and then he'd smile....

    The only problem is his personality is sarcastic sometimes and i can't tell if he legitimately has feelings for me or if he can see i REALLY like him and he's using me to boost his ego...

    We'll talk on the phone all the time and text but then bam he disappears....then i won't hear from him for like 2-3 days

    it really hurts my feelings b/c i like him so much. and i find myself constantly checking my cell at work to see if he tried to text or call and then when there's no message on there i get so sad....

    i always try to let him come to me first...but usually if i don't hear from him for awhile then i'll initiate it.

    ugh...

    i don't want to look like a stalker or anything which is why i don't text/call often...but i think about him ALL the time and I love the way i feel when he's around me and when he touches me....

    what can i do?

  2. #2
    JohnnyDynamic

    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Posts
    212
    Whether he's playing with you consciously or sending mixed signals just because thats what he does it doesn't matter...mixed signals are the essence of seduction.

    Right now he is controlling the rythym...if you want more control in the relationship you are going to have to break that rythym...you are reacting to him...you need to respond to him.

    Start by not returning his texts/communications right away. When you do respond keep the responses short and sound pre-occupied...maybe hint that there is someone else involved...put the heat on him...

    Draw boundaries when you get all touchy-feely...calling you on the way home from work...no...don't respond to calls/texts cause he has nothing better to do...if you want to be gf material you are going to have to teach him...otherwise you'll wind up a FB, one night stand, or something similiar.

  3. #3
    tspo28
    Member
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Posts
    26
    wow that is a GREAT response!!! thank you SO much!

  4. 01-21-2010, 09:46 PM
    Reason
    Too jaded

  5. #4
    JohnnyDynamic

    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Posts
    212
    Quote Originally Posted by Dako [Register to see the link]
    You could ask him if he's interested in you romantically.

    Maybe it's my age, but I prefer women who say what's on their mind. Winks and giggles only go so far.
    I disagree. He'll run if you call him out. Let the process take its course naturally. Try to get verbal definitions of the relationship/intentions and you reek of insecurity and kill all excitement.

  6. #5
    Dako
    Platinum Member Dako's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    SoCal
    Age
    63
    Posts
    9,175
    Gender
    Male
    Thanked
    1
    Probably right.

  7. #6
    generaldiscord
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Posts
    1,327
    Gender
    Female
    I totally recommend the direct approach. That's, of course, because I'm too chicken to use it myself, and because I know for a fact that pretending not to be interested makes the chances of something materializing even smaller.

  8. #7
    PureGrace
    Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Posts
    43
    I would also consider his actions, if he is playin mind games? isnt that a red flag? to me if a guy is messing around now how serious or how much effort will he put into a relationship later?

  9. #8
    Clarity
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Age
    34
    Posts
    2,135
    Gender
    Male
    Quote Originally Posted by JohnnyDynamic [Register to see the link]
    Whether he's playing with you consciously or sending mixed signals just because thats what he does it doesn't matter...mixed signals are the essence of seduction.

    Right now he is controlling the rythym...if you want more control in the relationship you are going to have to break that rythym...you are reacting to him...you need to respond to him.

    Start by not returning his texts/communications right away. When you do respond keep the responses short and sound pre-occupied...maybe hint that there is someone else involved...put the heat on him...

    Draw boundaries when you get all touchy-feely...calling you on the way home from work...no...don't respond to calls/texts cause he has nothing better to do...if you want to be gf material you are going to have to teach him...otherwise you'll wind up a FB, one night stand, or something similiar.
    Ugh, welcome to game-playing 101...

  10. #9
    YakasJourney
    Gold Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Posts
    570
    Don't play games. Ask him if he wants a relationship!

  11. 01-24-2010, 11:52 AM
    Reason
    Off the mark

  12. #10
    BriarRose
    Platinum Member BriarRose's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Posts
    7,570
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    2
    2-3 days isn't ideal, but I don't think he's blowing you off. He is still calling and wanting to see you. If the most you don't hear from him is 2-3 days, I wouldn't worry too much.

  13.  

Top Threads
Current boyfriend/girlfriend
Are they taller than you?
male friend likes me....not recipicated
So I have this male friend (as the title says) who likes me a lot. He wants a relationship. I however I did tell him a while ago my feelings are
Having crush with coworker
Dear All, I got this crush that is hindering my life. This new colleague just joined my company 1 month ago. Currently she is attached to my
I turned him down once and I regret it
So I've known this guy - let's call him J - for two years now. We met in a dog park and formed our little group which contains us two, J's roommate T
I need some opinions
So I've had this male friend for years now, close to a decade. Recently things got a bit weird, and he asked me if we could have some "fun" and
Does this girl like me ?
Hey guys , there is a girl I work with that I like a lot, we have a lot in common and I think we share a bit of attraction for eachother. she flirts
I need help
I recently broke up with my ex of three years. It was a very abusive relationship, not physically but emotionally and mentally. I was controlled and

Featured Threads
Parent and relationships problems
So clearly i need help sooo i will get right into the story.....sorry its so long I am a 25 year old male who is in a relationship with my 19
My boyfriend is trying to date other woman on online dating site.
I really need help. I am so confused. My boyfriend is on online dating site. He said he wants to date other women. We were on and off relationship
My wife left me without having even a talk
Hi everybody, I wonder if this is normal just to leave a marriage of 7 years without having a proper talk before moving on? It happened to me that
Confused about FWB
Last weekend my FWB and I made plans to meet up. He drove down from his place to go to a party with friends, afterwards he was coming to spend the
Everything is just JUMBLED
I have an extremely, EXTREMELY screwed up life. At least from my point of view it is. At least I think I'm the only one that knows my own
Getting over someone to be with them again later?
Long story short, my ex broke up with me after 4 years because he said he was immature and needed to grow up without me and part of that was meeting
Need Advice - it's urgent for me
Hello Everyone, I meesed up my life and I take full responsibilty. I ned advice and what to do to remedy the situation immediately and prevent it
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •