Ask For Advice
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 19

Thread: "He who cares the least, has the power."

  1. #1
    anya85
    Bronze Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Posts
    247

    "He who cares the least, has the power."

    How do you feel about this statement? Do you think it's true? Does the person in the relationship, be them male or female, who cares the least--do they have the most power and essentially control the relationship?

  2. #2
    jettison

    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    West Bay
    Posts
    5,708
    Thanked
    3
    Although it's in some ways true, in reality it's kind of sad if someone is so protected from their feelings that they aren't allowed to show that they care. Usually, this is the little game that people play with each other, and in the end, no one ever wins.

  3. #3
    Crazyaboutdogs
    Platinum Member Crazyaboutdogs's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    Canada
    Age
    53
    Posts
    25,673
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    22
    Quote Originally Posted by jettison [Register to see the link]
    Although it's in some ways true, in reality it's kind of sad if someone is so protected from their feelings that they aren't allowed to show that they care. Usually, this is the little game that people play with each other, and in the end, no one ever wins.
    I agree. Whenever people in relationships think of them in terms of "who has more power and control" ultimately it spells an unhealthy relationship and an unhealthy mindset towards relationships. Relationships should not be about power and control, they should be about equality..EVEN if one person cares more.

  4. #4
    DropToZero
    Platinum Member DropToZero's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Posts
    1,628
    Gender
    Male
    Quote Originally Posted by anya85 [Register to see the link]
    How do you feel about this statement? Do you think it's true? Does the person in the relationship, be them male or female, who cares the least--do they have the most power and essentially control the relationship?
    It's true--but saddening, I went from one extreme of that to the other(weakest to strongest and not caring) in a matter of a year or so... and it's not something I recommend, it hurts people--and it's also empowering to not feel as much and feel protected--so it's hard to let go of once you get into it.

  5. #5
    thebluest
    Silver Member thebluest's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Australia
    Age
    30
    Posts
    423
    Gender
    Female
    Simply put, if you don't care about something, what happens to it doesn't have the capacity to affect your feelings. That inability to be affected by things that happen may make you feel like you have the upper hand in a relationship, but it also shields you from the ability to enjoy the happy things that occur in the relationship. If you don't care about it, then when it works well, you still don't care and can't enjoy it.

    A sad, sorry existence.

  6. #6
    lostandhurt
    Platinum Member lostandhurt's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    California
    Age
    53
    Posts
    6,855
    Gender
    Male
    Thanked
    2446
    I think you will find if you care the least that your S/O will one day not care for you or the relationship.
    Relationships should not be about the upper hand, they should be an equal partnership. After all they are hard enough without that kind of crap.

    Lost

  7. #7
    SapphireNoir10
    Member SapphireNoir10's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Posts
    12,018
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    169
    Its true in that, if you don't care, you can't be hurt...therefore you have the power over the person who DOES care.

  8. #8
    Crazyaboutdogs
    Platinum Member Crazyaboutdogs's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    Canada
    Age
    53
    Posts
    25,673
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    22
    Quote Originally Posted by lostandhurt [Register to see the link]
    I think you will find if you care the least that your S/O will one day not care for you or the relationship.
    Relationships should not be about the upper hand, they should be an equal partnership. After all they are hard enough without that kind of crap.

    Lost
    Exactly. Very well said. I have also seen plenty of posts on here where someone is heartbroken about losing their partner due to their own initial lack of caring. By the time they figured out that they do care, the partner was so fed up and couldn't care less anymore.

  9. #9
    mandellin
    Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Location
    middle of nowhere,arkansas
    Posts
    164
    Gender
    Female
    Sad but very true.

  10. #10
    itsallgrand
    Platinum Member itsallgrand's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Posts
    14,482
    Thanked
    1719
    Quote Originally Posted by anya85 [Register to see the link]
    How do you feel about this statement? Do you think it's true? Does the person in the relationship, be them male or female, who cares the least--do they have the most power and essentially control the relationship?
    I don't believe it because....we each have equal say over what we want to do all the time.

    So while I see some bits of truth in it, like how when you fall in love with someone this tendency to get drunk on hormones and start to make some dumb decisions even if they don't care about you the same way, I think at a deeper level neither has more control unless one person decides to hand over some to the other guy. And caring about someone doesn't necessarily mean doing that!

    I agree tho with the others who are saying that relationships take enough work without that crap, and it's not healthy or really helpful to think of things that way.

    What a perfect way to see if someone is capable and worth going more of the distance tho - - what kind of relationship can a person have with someone who would use something against the ones who care about them for their own advantage? Someone I wouldn't want to be with, that's who. I wouldn't even want to work with someone like that.

  11.  

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Top Threads
Boyfriend gets very angry if I mention his ex, is this normal?
Hi everyone! My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 5months. He broke up with his ex and a year and a half ago. 7 months after they
Travelling to meet the family - who pays?
My bf of almost 6 mos recently asked me if I would join him on his annual summer trip to visit his family. He takes his child every year and I would
How to make my girlfriend miss me
Need advice on how to make my girlfriend miss me...
Am I just crazy ?
My boyfriend has never done anything to disrespect me and we have been together for 5 years. Neither has his child's mother. Well they're going to
Found a bikini pic of a girl on his phone
Me and my partner have been together for 3 years. He is a little older than me, but I prefer that. He says he is madly in love with me, and I can
Am I being fair...
When it comes to someone I am dating, I love planning things, booking things in advance I can look forward to and I'm good at hunting fun events etc
Need to make a decision today---HELP! :)
Hi eNotAlone Friends, Thank you for taking the time to read this. I will make this short and sweet. I am a 29 year old female in a relationship

Expert Advice
Featured Threads
Dating younger guy 24 years difference
I am 50 yrs old dating a 26 yrs old guy. We been dating each other for a couple months things are great between us. He told me he will always be
Boyfriend gets very angry if I mention his ex, is this normal?
Hi everyone! My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 5months. He broke up with his ex and a year and a half ago. 7 months after they
Should I let my boyfriend stay overnight with his friends?
Hi there. Firstly thank you for reading this post. I am a new member to this forum, and also will soon be new immigrant of the UK so basically there
Is this abuse?
Iím desperate for some advice. Iíve been with my partner for nearly 2 years and everything has been ok, except from when he drinks. I really do not
Is there hope for me?
Me and my girlfriend of two years had been talking about moving in together lately. We didn't actually go look at any place in person, but browsed a
Bringing up trust issues at the start of a new relationship? My situation...
Haven't been on these boards since my last break up a couple years ago, and here I am about to begin a new relationship with feelings from the last
Whats my next move - Dating a girl fresh out of a relationship
Hey guys, So heres the deal. Met a girl in class and I asked her out. Her answer was "maybe" because she didn't want to say no to me but just
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •