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Thread: "He who cares the least, has the power."

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    anya85
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    "He who cares the least, has the power."

    How do you feel about this statement? Do you think it's true? Does the person in the relationship, be them male or female, who cares the least--do they have the most power and essentially control the relationship?

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    jettison

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    Although it's in some ways true, in reality it's kind of sad if someone is so protected from their feelings that they aren't allowed to show that they care. Usually, this is the little game that people play with each other, and in the end, no one ever wins.

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    Crazyaboutdogs
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    Quote Originally Posted by jettison [Register to see the link]
    Although it's in some ways true, in reality it's kind of sad if someone is so protected from their feelings that they aren't allowed to show that they care. Usually, this is the little game that people play with each other, and in the end, no one ever wins.
    I agree. Whenever people in relationships think of them in terms of "who has more power and control" ultimately it spells an unhealthy relationship and an unhealthy mindset towards relationships. Relationships should not be about power and control, they should be about equality..EVEN if one person cares more.

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    DropToZero
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    Quote Originally Posted by anya85 [Register to see the link]
    How do you feel about this statement? Do you think it's true? Does the person in the relationship, be them male or female, who cares the least--do they have the most power and essentially control the relationship?
    It's true--but saddening, I went from one extreme of that to the other(weakest to strongest and not caring) in a matter of a year or so... and it's not something I recommend, it hurts people--and it's also empowering to not feel as much and feel protected--so it's hard to let go of once you get into it.

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    thebluest
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    Simply put, if you don't care about something, what happens to it doesn't have the capacity to affect your feelings. That inability to be affected by things that happen may make you feel like you have the upper hand in a relationship, but it also shields you from the ability to enjoy the happy things that occur in the relationship. If you don't care about it, then when it works well, you still don't care and can't enjoy it.

    A sad, sorry existence.

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    lostandhurt
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    I think you will find if you care the least that your S/O will one day not care for you or the relationship.
    Relationships should not be about the upper hand, they should be an equal partnership. After all they are hard enough without that kind of crap.

    Lost

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    SapphireNoir10
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    Its true in that, if you don't care, you can't be hurt...therefore you have the power over the person who DOES care.

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    Crazyaboutdogs
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    Quote Originally Posted by lostandhurt [Register to see the link]
    I think you will find if you care the least that your S/O will one day not care for you or the relationship.
    Relationships should not be about the upper hand, they should be an equal partnership. After all they are hard enough without that kind of crap.

    Lost
    Exactly. Very well said. I have also seen plenty of posts on here where someone is heartbroken about losing their partner due to their own initial lack of caring. By the time they figured out that they do care, the partner was so fed up and couldn't care less anymore.

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    mandellin
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    Sad but very true.

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    itsallgrand
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    Quote Originally Posted by anya85 [Register to see the link]
    How do you feel about this statement? Do you think it's true? Does the person in the relationship, be them male or female, who cares the least--do they have the most power and essentially control the relationship?
    I don't believe it because....we each have equal say over what we want to do all the time.

    So while I see some bits of truth in it, like how when you fall in love with someone this tendency to get drunk on hormones and start to make some dumb decisions even if they don't care about you the same way, I think at a deeper level neither has more control unless one person decides to hand over some to the other guy. And caring about someone doesn't necessarily mean doing that!

    I agree tho with the others who are saying that relationships take enough work without that crap, and it's not healthy or really helpful to think of things that way.

    What a perfect way to see if someone is capable and worth going more of the distance tho - - what kind of relationship can a person have with someone who would use something against the ones who care about them for their own advantage? Someone I wouldn't want to be with, that's who. I wouldn't even want to work with someone like that.

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