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Thread: Extreme mood changes

  1. #1
    Bronze Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2009

    Extreme mood changes

    It's a very long text i guess,, so sorry for that ;s
    Some background first:
    So it's about a friend of mine that I know for years, we also used to date sometime ago. However it would have ended up in being a LDR, so she stopped the thing but wanted to stay friends.. We were like best friends before.
    The friends again thing didn't work that good at first since we both still had feeligns for each other.. however she got over me after some months but I didn't get over her.. she knows this.

    After a while we wanted to spend days together again but work was in the way, just planed things for the future then. Now she started dating someone else.. the guy is from the same place as she is but he's always just there for a week then he gotta go for 1-2 months before he's back again ect.
    So I felt just pissed off, she knew this before she dated him. When I confronted her and asked why she didn't try with me while he is barely there either, she just said "well he actually lives here". It's just nonsense, I did alot of things to possibly move there.. while as long as he works he will never really be much there at all, jsut that he has an appartment there and grew up in the city.
    You could say she just sees him more worthy but even her friends told me she was way more into me ect.

    I was really down on a day then for other reasons, and she let me completely down.. she was about to leave to date him but still had some time left. I told her I really need someone to talk just a few minutes, cause I felt horrible.. and noone else took time for me. Know what she said? "I'm happy right now and can't bother with other peoples problems". That just pierced right through me, she always said that she would always be there for me and that I'm so special to her.. and that was just a few days before this happened.

    I didn't talk to her anymore then, but she heard how I acted during NC. She didn't say sorry, but that no matter what next time I need to talk I should just tell her.

    Now I've always been someone who gives everyone a few chances.. but her extreme mood changes towards me are killing me inside, it's already hard enough to cope with the fact that she dates someone else.
    One day she's totaly sweet to me.. says things like she refuses to die before she knows everything about me or that the best way to make her smile is just to let her know that I'm fine.
    The next day I just have to ask how she is and she's freaks out about it, screaming at me.. that I should know better if I listened better to her the past days. I looked through chat logs, since we didn't talk on the phone for a week. And everytime she said she was okay or alright ! no hint at all that there might be something wrong. sigh.

    Also I seem to have such a huge impact on her mood, like if I bring something up she doesn't want to talk about. Whenever that happens her friends tell me she yells at everyone for the next few days. On the other hand I'm also able to make her feel great again. I sometimes wonder if she really is over me.

    I asked her some days ago to spend some days together since we never fought when being together.. the arguements just happen on phone/chat. I said that it might be really good for our friendship. And just a few weeks ago she kept talking about things we could do. But she said she doesn't want to, she just doesn't feel like it and wants to keep our relationship like it is right now. So just some talk on phone/chat forever without seeing each other anymore.

    But she still wants to talk to me everyday alltho she barely initates the talk.. and if I don't message her, then I know for sure that the next time she will be in a bad mood. when I'm not online or when I don't call her she always checks if I'm there and she waits offline modus on msn. I know this from a close friend of hers. Last time that I was away for a few days she screamed at all mutual friends if they know where I am.

    If I try to talk to her about all she would just go mad and scream again.
    I don't want to lose her, she's always been such a great help in the past and I also helped her out of problems were noone else seemed to get throug her at all.

    The guy she dates is back in january and I'm already afraid of it. She probably starts to barely talk to me again, until he has to go again.. ;/
    I don't know what to do anymore, I just feel horrible. I even start to think it's all my fault when she's mad.. even if I know it's not and I blame myself.

  2. #2
    Bronze Member furiouspsych's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Northwest Indiana
    Fortunately for you, I have nothing to do this evening except sit and think about my ex...so I read all that.

    But wow...if I said anything other than "GET HER OUT OF YOUR LIFE" then I'd be b.s.ing the both of us. What's with her yelling and screaming? Is there any legitimate reason? I doubt it. The fact that she's using u for a safety net is painfully obvious. If you cut off ties with her, let her know that you're fed up with being "2nd," u'd have a better chance of her coming back. It's easy for us to tell u to not take her back, cuz that would be the right thing for YOU, but for now the only thing constructive I can say is to tell her exactly why and then cut her off. Then you'll have said what u need to (b/c after a split there's always things u wish u would've said) and made it very clear that although you care about her, you have to move on. Don't be 2nd anymore...especially 2nd to yourself.

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