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Thread: "Because I'm a guy"

  1. #11
    Super Moderator annie24's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by pinkrobot
    Haven't you ever studied genetics? The Y chromosome makes it impossible for a guy to call when he says he will.

    Gender has NOTHING to do with something like that. It's a poor excuse, and he's only giving it because he knows he has no justifiable excuse for not making good on his promises.
    oh yeah, i remember that chapter in the book!!!!!

    my goodness. i think he just doesn't want to deal with you. blah. have you tried not expecting his call and seeing what happens if you don't call him?

  2. #12
    Gold Member Kaiser_Soze's Avatar
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    He's doing it because you let him. The only time I've used that excuse is to change the radio station when we were driving. I can't listen to Nelly Furtado, I'm a guy. Other than that... call him on it. Tell him "sweetheart I think your mistaken, that rule only applies to SINGLE guys."

  3. #13
    Platinum Member _Asti_'s Avatar
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    This isn't a gender thing.
    This is a HIM thing. Its about him, as a person. It has nothing to do with his sex. Because there are many men out there who don't do these things he claim that 'men do' So its complete BS.

  4. #14
    Platinum Member JeckyllNHyde's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by konstantine
    That is a really terrible excuse and a cop out. It seems like he doesn't even care if he's not pulling his weight and that's the best excuse he can come up with. Maybe he's a little too comfortable in the relationship? There are many many guys who can keep up their end of a relationship and show tons of affection, so we know it's not that!

    True, some men are different than others and it's harder for them, but I think from what you are saying he already proved he could do these things and now he is taking them away from you. That's really not fair.
    Exactly!!

    I feel like it's just not fair to be all attentive and caring. And then when the relationship progresses you just stop putting in as much effort.
    And I've been feeling for quite some time that he's just not as interested as before/too comfortable which he keeps denying. But come on.. action say it all right?
    He was busy with work and trying to make extra cash.. Fine, I put up with less phone calls and less time together.

    Yesterday I came up with a fun idea - or so I think - that we should both take up a fun hobby together. He likes drawing and I do too. Anything to do with art/crafts. He just said "hmm.. I already have hobbies". Then he said "j/k... we'll see". Yea right.

    Originally Posted by annie24
    oh yeah, i remember that chapter in the book!!!!!

    my goodness. i think he just doesn't want to deal with you. blah. have you tried not expecting his call and seeing what happens if you don't call him?
    I have tried not calling but in the end I give in and call anyways. Like someone just commented... it may be happening b/c I'm letting it?
    I was going to just not call today but I really wanted to see if his flu had gotten as bad as mine, etc. I need to stop and I think I have enough reason to now.

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  6. #15
    Platinum Member oldenoughtoknow's Avatar
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    Awesome response from lostandhurt. There isn't a legitimate excuse for this. He's either taking you for granted, or he's losing interest.

    I would definitely choose an appropriate time and have a talk with him about this. Tell him how these things make you feel. You're obviously not happy...what is there to lose?

  7. #16
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    I know your first reaction is to just pull away from him to "teach him a lesson". But honestly, it's not the way to go. You really need to have a serious talk with him about this. Find out why this is happening. Maybe he doesn't realize how lame he is being. Maybe he does and he doesn't care. Either way, make it clear that you expect decent treatment or it's time to end the relationship.

  8. #17
    Platinum Member WomanWriter's Avatar
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    I'd go running. Anyone like that sounds too sexist/into traditional gender roles for me. HUGE red flag. Also, seems to make excuses for not doing the right thing. Definitely not a keeper, IMO.

  9. #18
    Platinum Member FreedomRing's Avatar
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    There seems to be a significant gap in maturity between you two.

  10. #19
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    The "because I'm a guy line" is used when he wants to lower the bar of what you can expect from him. He's kind of saying, well, all guys are slack, so what do you expect from me? Every other guy out there is going to treat you the same.

    It's a cop out and shows that he's lazy.

    The reality is that there ARE guys out there who will step up to the plate.

  11. #20
    Platinum Member JeckyllNHyde's Avatar
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    I fully agree.
    Today I tried talking to him about it. We ended up in an argument and I just blanked bc he just seemed sooo frustrated.
    Apparently I make him feel like he's a bad bf when I try and explain this stuff.
    Bah.

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