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Thread: My girlfriend is an ex <> slept with 15 guys

  1. #11
    Platinum Member sophie274's Avatar
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    I think it's fine not to want to date someone because you have different values about sex, as long as you are consistent - for example, if you don't have casual sex, not wanting to date someone who has casual sex.

    You have to decide how much this matters to you - and especially if you are willing to give up an otherwise good (?) relationship because of this. If you decide you want to continue a relationship with her, you can't hold this against her, and should do your best to just put it out of your mind.

  2. #12

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    ^Get that outta your head.

  3. #13
    Platinum Member Sanesoul's Avatar
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    You need to get over it and stop calling your girlfriend horrible names. She is with you now, but honestly, if you were saying those things about me, I would have dumped you.

  4. #14
    Platinum Member Seymore's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Catdancer
    Wow...only 15?? That's nothing. Why in the world would she stay with a person who calls her a "ho"??
    While I don't agree with the OP in calling a girl a "ho", calling 15 nothing without knowing her age is kind of jumping the gun, don't you think? If she slept with 15 guys at once I might be inclined to say the girl isn't exactly relationship material to a lot of guys.

    Either way, don't play the numbers game. Some people want someone who shares their sexual values/morals, and that's fine.

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  6. #15
    Platinum Member Ms Darcy's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by ivinsjames
    Well thanks guys but my insecurity IS the problem and that's what I need help with cause I do really love my girl.All the other advice given for this is stuff I already realize. So GET OVER IT doesnt actually help me at all.
    Advice is just advice. We can't change you, so I hope that's not what you are expecting.

    To improve your relationship with her, you should start by not calling her a "ho." What is it that you love about her? Would it hurt you to lose her?

    If you can't get over this, your relationship will not work out. Will calling her names have been worth it then?

  7. #16
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    Um, I never said I call her horrible names.I said ho just so everyone who wants to help me can understand what Im dealing with.Nothing more.

  8. #17
    Platinum Member sophie274's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by ivinsjames
    Well thanks guys but my insecurity IS the problem and that's what I need help with cause I do really love my girl.All the other advice given for this is stuff I already realize. So GET OVER IT doesnt actually help me at all.
    Well, you need to figure out what exactly about it makes you feel insecure, and then address each of those issues with yourself.
    - fears about performance?
    - fears about her not being faithful to you?
    - fears about losing respect/admiration for her?

    I think this is the sort of thing that can be helpful for you to talk through with someone you trust, but not your girlfriend, as it's not her job to alleviate your insecurities. I have a therapist, and would talk to him, but failing that hopefully you have a good friend whom you can be candid with and who doesn't gossip, probably preferably without bringing up specific numbers out of respect for your girlfriend's privacy.

  9. #18
    Bronze Member turnaroundmyway's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by ivinsjames
    I said "ex ho" because that's what she was.
    Well, her past experiences are part of who she is today. If you can't accept it, then you need to move on.

  10. #19
    Platinum Member hockeyboy's Avatar
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    Agree with the others and learn from this....in the future, don't talk about "numbers." There really is no point, and regardless of the answer, you won't like it.

  11. #20
    Platinum Member Jd1983's Avatar
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    If you truly want to make things work out with her, you will have to accept her as she is. Honestly, calling her names is not helping at all.

    Everyone makes wrong choices at one point in their lives. She is with you now, and if she's not out there sleeping with other people - then you will have to get over her past.

    I know it's going to take some time, but it's definitely doable. I admit that at one point, I was bothered by my bf's promiscuous past. However, I also realize that there is nothing that I can do to change it now, but to accept it.

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