Ok here's the thing, yes, I am extremely self conscious! I think I'm attractive but a lot of times I doubt myself! (And please don't ask me to post my photo cos I can't, sorry).
Anyway, back to the real business. I just had dinner with a friend and we were discussing why we are still single and people can get boyfriends so easily. And then she said something that struck me, "maybe it's cos we're not ugly, but not exactly attractive either, we're stuck in between". Well her advice doesn't matter, it's the comment that struck me. It's not that I think I'm a drop dead gorgeous girl, but I thought I'm quite pretty so hence, rather attractive. But she just shoved me into the 'average' category.
And then I think back at the times I've gotten compliments, they're usually from people I don't really know of. Some of them will give me bizarre compliments like I look like a tv star, or that I have the face of an angel, or tell me that I'm pretty etc. I don't get it many times but I get them, occasionally.
But then my friends never said so about me though. For example, my friend would say something like "I never known anyone who has good grades and is pretty" (I am a 4.0 student), or the other would say things like "well we will never be in his list cos we don't fit the bill" (this is when I mentioned a professor in my uni who gives out high grades to pretty girls).
So, I don't know what to believe. I am plain to my friends.. but to some people I'm really pretty? The thing is, I have an illusion that pretty girls get chased and hit on all the time but that never happened to me, I've only ever had one boyfriend. But there's always some random guy at school staring at me, or someone on the train looking at me (not always, but I'd say sometimes).
So how do you know if you're attractive or not? On the basis of the compliments from other people? Or what? Cos I am really self conscious!