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Thread: doing all the work in our relationship

  1. #1
    Scarlet 1
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    Unhappy doing all the work in our relationship

    Please help me! me an my bf have been going out for 7 months now and i do all the work in our relationship! like when we have a fight i go to him and say sorry even if he said hurtfull things to me. i have to ask him if i can go along when he works and i ask him if i can see him! i hate doing all the work but i have no idea how to stop! i get frustrated sometimes and then just stop calling him or asking him if i can see him but sometimes if i don't do this then nothing happens. there are other times that he calls out of his own but this doesn't happen alot! what do i do! please help anyone!

  2. #2
    vaporleak
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    I've personally been in your shoes before and the relationship inevitably ended up not working out. If you are truly looking for a long term relationship, then his laziness, or lack of effort will drive you insane. This will lead you to the two of you fighting all the time and at that point it won't work out. Tell him exactly how you feel, and if he still doesn't seem to acknowledge your effort or emotions, I would flat out walk away... it's only been 7 months, you don't want to waste years.

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    Scarlet 1
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    So you think i should tell him that i feel i'm doing all the work? i guess i can do that. i just actually want him to start doing some of the work on his own you know without me feeding it to him like a baby!

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    quirky
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    You could speak to him but he already knows deep down what he's doing. I would just back off a little, tone it down, don't do much, see how he acts. Why would you apologise if he's the one in the wrong? That gives off a vibe that you're desperate for his approval..No need to please him all the time, most of the time it backfires.

  5. #5
    riley123
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    Can I ask how old you are? And how old he is? Has he ever been in a relationship before?

  6. #6
    vaporleak
    Bronze Member vaporleak's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Scarlet 1 [Register to see the link]
    So you think i should tell him that i feel i'm doing all the work? i guess i can do that. i just actually want him to start doing some of the work on his own you know without me feeding it to him like a baby!

    Unless you tell a guy what you want, he will Never know how you feel. It sounds like he may have zero clue how you feel, if that is the case, talking to him may do wonders.

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