My girlfriend said she is not horny anymore

My girlfriend and I have been dating for about 2 months now. At first the sex was great, we did it about 2-3 times per week. She would text me a lot saying she wants me and such. On my birthday we had sex and that was about the last time we had good sex. The day after my birthday she slept over but she didn't want to have sex at all. Since then she has not wanted to have sex with me and claims that she is not horny anymore. This was about 3 weeks ago. Also at this time she took plan b but was after the first signs of her not being horny anymore.

I don't understand how she could not be horny anymore. Does she not want me anymore? Is it the birth control? I asked her if its because she doesn't want me anymore and she said no its not that she is just not horny at all. She is 18.

Now I was over her house today and we kissed a bit and she touched me down there but wouldn't let me touch her, even just on her jeans. Why is this?

It is really starting to take a toll on my relationship, I believe sex is a very important part of a relationship. I feel like it is me, that im not attractive to her anymore. I don't know what to do I'm like going insane and everytime I see her and she doesn't want to do it, it only makes it worse, makes me feel like im not wanted.

Question. She took the Plan B pill, correct? Was there a pregnancy scare?

If a condom busted or something like that and she had to take Plan B, I would imagine that it's really gotten to her head. I'm not sure about other girls, but sex for me can make me really stressed and anxious, always just counting down the days til my period for some relief in knowing I'm not pregnant. She might be dealing with a similar anxiety. When we're terrified of getting pregnant...the last thing we want near us is a penis lol.

Its been two months. Almost a month has been without sex. And she already had to to take the morning after pill?

I think there could be alot going on.

Fear of pregnancy?

Birth control - yes can kill your sex drive quite easily.

Pressure - you're already complaining about lack of sex after being together a month?

Those would be my guesses.

Plus many other things can affect sex drive, such as stress [pregnancy scare stress?] for example.

Sex drives can also go in cycles.

Some months my guy and I do it daily, and other times we can do it twice a month. And these have fluctuated over the years.

Its only been two months, its hard to say if this a problem yet, because the relationship is very new. Its hard to say if it was initial excitment, and this is her.

Give it more time, back off a little and let the relationship develop.

If sex is that important and your relationship is suffering and you're more concerned about sex then building a relationship, then just cut the ties.

yea I know and she took the plan B because there was a few missing pills so she took it to be safe. I could easily be ok without sex, before this relationship I didnt have sex for almost a year. Its more so the fact that we were doing it and now it stopped and it feels like I am the reason. That she doesn't like me as much anymore, and it hurts. She used to say she misses me all the time too and today I had to like kind of fight with her to see her today when we havent seen each other for 3 days which normally we see each other every other day. Should I just back off for a bit? make her want me?

How long has she been on birth control? Has she been stressed or depressed lately? But sometimes there are just people out there who only really enjoy sex while the relationship is new. Once things start settling down they aren't into it anymore.

Well.....ask her what's up. I've said that on this site recently, and I'll say it again. A lot of people on here need to speak up and go straight to the source. In this case, you just need to ask your girlfriend what's bothering her or what's changed.

Sounds like you two started having sex right away.... it's probably too fast for her and she's backing off.... taking plan b will scare a lot of 18 yr olds.

yea I talked to her today about it and she said she just isnt horny. Last weekend we had sex for like the last 15 mins she was over and it sucked, no connection and felt like she didnt even want it. Today I asked her about it and told her it seemed like she just did it to make me happy and I asked her if I am right and she said I made a pretty good guess.

I understand that maybe it is just the birth control so I'm gonna wait it out but it has almost been a month. Maybe she just needs to be thrown against a wall that will help her haha

Noooo no no. lol Don't do that. You asked her if she just did it to make you happy, and she said yes (correct?). That means she just doesn't want it. And if she doesn't want it, she definitely doesn't want it rough.

I'm not sure why the sudden change, but that's besides the point. The point is, she doesn't want sex, and she's only doing it to make you happy. So, if you need sex to be happy, I suggest you find another girlfriend. If you want to be with her, you need to sacrifice your sexual needs.

yea I talked to her today about it and she said she just isnt horny. Last weekend we had sex for like the last 15 mins she was over and it sucked, no connection and felt like she didnt even want it. Today I asked her about it and told her it seemed like she just did it to make me happy and I asked her if I am right and she said I made a pretty good guess.

 

I understand that maybe it is just the birth control so I'm gonna wait it out but it has almost been a month. Maybe she just needs to be thrown against a wall that will help her haha

A month on bc? It takes more like 3 months for the body to start getting used to it.

well she always says she wants it rough so I would be giving her what she wants. I don't need sex to make me happy, its just really tough when I'm at college parties and I see girls everywhere and my own girlfriend doesn't even want me. I'm gonna see what happens during her period because thats when she is always horny so if she doesn't want me then I will assume she doesnt really like me or there is someone else.

She has been on the pill for a few months but she missed a few in a row so she had to start over.

You're giving her what she wants? Apparently not, cuz you just said that she doesn't want sex. When she wants it rough, give it to her rough. But when she doesn't want sex, back off. We're not tricky creatures. We'll make it known what we want

yea well today she said to me that it seems like I never want sex or that I never show it. I was actually shocked by this. I mean what are ways that I can show I want sex because I don't want to seem too overeager

.....lol what??

Your situation seems to be changing by the minute. So...yeah, it'll prob change if I offer advice again lol so I'm just gonna say good luck with it.

haha yea true I think i may have lost myself in my own post...i remember things as i go..but thanks for the help though

No problem. Sorry I couldn't help more. I think it's more of a communication issue than a her-being-weird issue.

Sounds like theres someone else...

First she says she isn't horny and doesn't want sex. And won't let you touch her(first sign I realized I missed when my ex was cheating on me).

Then when you confront her on it, she acknowledges that you're right. And then later pushes the blame on you?

First of all when someones bringing up a lack of sex, its a good indication that they want more. So why would she think you didn't want it?

Sounds like you and her have horrible communication problems and aren't opening up to each other.

Most likely she got freaked out from the pregnancy scare and is withdrawing.

Question. She took the Plan B pill, correct? Was there a pregnancy scare?

 

If a condom busted or something like that and she had to take Plan B, I would imagine that it's really gotten to her head. I'm not sure about other girls, but sex for me can make me really stressed and anxious, always just counting down the days til my period for some relief in knowing I'm not pregnant. She might be dealing with a similar anxiety. When we're terrified of getting pregnant...the last thing we want near us is a penis lol.

I totally agree. After going through scare after scare, i got turned off from sex totally. I was attracted to my man but the stress and anguish of taking home pregnancy tests and taking Plan B (which made me feel like crap) made it feel so not worth it. Give her time then talk to her in a calm, understanding fashion. You have to understand being a woman sucks sometimes.

Birth control explains not wanting sex, but it doesn't explain distancing yourself from your partner. Birth control affects your hormones, which is a logical explanation why she may not be horny lately, but you mentioned you haven't seen her for a few days, & she's been emotionally distant, too.

I'm not trying to suggest anything, but there could be a lot of things going on. Maybe something is going on in her life, or the relationship isn't the same anymore.

Have a serious talk with her, and explain to her that although sex isn't a priority to you, it's important for your relationship, & you don't want the lack of sex to affect other areas of your relationship. Ask her what the real problem is, and make her feel comfortable about being honest with you. Don't turn it into an argument.

yea I know and she took the plan B because there was a few missing pills so she took it to be safe. I could easily be ok without sex, before this relationship I didnt have sex for almost a year. Its more so the fact that we were doing it and now it stopped and it feels like I am the reason. That she doesn't like me as much anymore, and it hurts. She used to say she misses me all the time too and today I had to like kind of fight with her to see her today when we havent seen each other for 3 days which normally we see each other every other day. Should I just back off for a bit? make her want me?

yes. back off and start doing some stuff to better yourself, let her miss you dont be so readily available all the time.

Hey man don't feel bad im going through the same * * * * ... Me and my girl have been together for about 4 months and we use to have sex all the time but we had 1 fight and everything changed from then. i apoligized to her and let her know that i was sorry, and she took the apoligy but has been acting totally different with me. she still tells me that she loves me but its just not the same anymore. I also feel like i've changed, like im not in control of the relationship any more, like im walking on egg shells not to get her pissed off so she won't leave me when before i wouldn't care if she did or not i guess i fell in love with her and i just don't wana lose her but it seems like we're growing more distant every week.. she use to tell me how much she misses me and now she doesn't. i've tried to talk to her about whats wrong and whats going on.. she says sometimes im just to much for her... i feel lke i lost my swag... like what ever i say doesn't mean anything anymore... and i've thought about her seeing someone else but i don't want to make her think i don't trust her and have her do something because of that... we use to also cuddle in bed and we don't even hold each other anymore... she just says she doesn't like being touched.... I kinda feel like she's just waiting for the next best thing sometimes.. i just don't know what to do or how to act. also when i feel like im done with her and im gona take a break or end it she tells me something that makes me wana stay with her. so I think she still does love me but things just have changed a little and im actually seeing the true person that she is... never the less i want things to be back to the way they use to be. I want my freak back

I want my freak back

hahahahahahaha! sorry, i found that hilarious

anyway. ahem.

Okay men. I've said this in a few forums and I'll say it again here.

Men + sex = happiness

Women + emotional connection = happiness = sex

That's in most scenarios. I won't say all men, and all women, but I will say most are that way. Just back off a bit and let your women catch their breath after the elephant hoof has been lifted off their chest.

Haven't you ever heard the saying? That when the woman in your life is happy, then you are happy? haha

I think 2 months is too early to not be horny anymore, and I also think your problem is not sex but COMMUNICATION. TALK to her.

I think 2 months is too early to not be horny anymore, and I also think your problem is not sex but COMMUNICATION. TALK to her.

Bella is right everytime I see her say something about "communication." Communication is the key to happiness!