All I really care about in life is to lose my virginity

Pertaining to the whole love/lust thing.

I'm 16, male, nearing 17, and I can't picture myself in a relationship, simply because I'm much too shy. I've never had luck with women, and I'm the only one out of my group of friends who has never had any sort of romantic contact with a member of the opposite sex. The thing is, I don't care that much. I'm realizing that it may never happen, and I can live with that. My fear, however, is dying a virgin. I can tolerate living alone; as an only child I'm use to it, but to never lose my virginity in my life, well, that concept scares me. I will resort to prostitution if that's the only way, which realistically it probably is. I wouldn't call myself "happy," but rather content with being alone. Anyway, I guess I'm not cut out for the whole mutual attraction thing.

Your only 16. With the way some young girls are, you might lose it next week. haha

Don't worry about until you get a little bit older.

I'm 26 and still one and I doubt i'll die a virgin. So I doubt you will either.

Why not wait until you meet an amazing woman and save your virginity for her and your marriage? It is much more attractive to know that a guy had the ablility to wait...at least that's my view.

Why not wait until you meet an amazing woman and save your virginity for her and your marriage? It is much more attractive to know that a guy had the ablility to wait...at least that's my view.

Here's the thing about that: I don't see that ever happening to me. I'm much too shy to meet women.

Oh you'll lose it. Trust me. You are shy now but you are only 16. Your personality is still developing and you will probably eventually get over your shyness. I'm not saying you won't be shy sometimes but the more you experience in life, the more comfortable you will become with who you are. And just remember that as shy as you are, a lot of the girls your age feel the same way. They are shy too. They might not seem that way (I probably seemed more confident than I was back then) but trust me, they are. Relax and give yourself a more realistic deadline for this to occur. Why not just try to smile or say hi to a girl. Just start slow. You'll do great!

Once you you'll lose it, you'll be able to set new goals =)

Why not wait until you meet an amazing woman and save your virginity for her and your marriage? It is much more attractive to know that a guy had the ablility to wait...at least that's my view.

What if that amazing person doesn't come?

I don't get what is so attractive about waiting.

You are only 16, dude. I'm 22 and am still virgin and am also shy. (And I am sure that sentence has bad grammar in it Don't resort to a hooker (or legal one in Nevada) until at least 25 and still a virgin.

Men are more horny. That is one. Although I probably die a virgin, oh well, least I won't get a STD, I guess.

You are only 16, and already you are convinced that something in your life will remain the same forever. If you approach a goal with a negative outlook, I fear that you will have damaged your chances of success. Everyone seems to hold sex as this big massive goal that will make or break your entire life. It's not. It's just one of many things humans enjoy doing. That's all. If you want sex I would suggest that you need to reduce your negative thinking (why can you not change?) and be prepared to change what you do (you may have to get into many more situations where you can meet women). Of course I can't speak for everyone and for all situations, but I am sure sex is much better in a relationship. You are also very young. At 16 you really have a long way to go and a lot of time to have sex, why rush? There is so much you have not experienced and haven't done yet and so many things that might change in your life that you can't say oh I am sure this will or won't happen ever.

Why not wait until you meet an amazing woman and save your virginity for her and your marriage? It is much more attractive to know that a guy had the ablility to wait...at least that's my view.

I so agree, men who haven't been around are more appealing to some women. To me it shows an incredible amount of restraint and manhood if a man can resist sleeping around and wait to have sex until he's married.

I so agree, men who haven't been around are more appealing to some women. To me it shows an incredible amount of restraint and manhood if a man can resist sleeping around and wait to have sex until he's married.

That doesn't really show restraint.

That doesn't really show restraint.

I expected an argument against that. Call it what you will but in my opinion a man who sets out to save himself for marriage has to have an incredible amount of restraint. Especially when you consider how rampant casual sex is. I've met quite a few of these men and have great respect for them. I mean good looking and highly educated men who haven't beeen around are miracles to me. I have serious issues dating men who have been, I don't have too much respect for them personally. True manhood is almost dead in so many ways (but that's another thread) so this is important to me.

I expected an argument against that. Call it what you will but in my opinion a man who sets out to save himself for marriage has to have an incredible amount of restraint. Especially when you consider how rampant casual sex is. I've met quite a few of these men and have great respect for them. I mean good looking and highly educated men who haven't beeen around are miracles to me. I have serious issues dating men who have been, I don't have too much respect for them personally. True manhood is almost dead in so many ways (but that's another thread) so this is important to me.

I don't recall the OP saying anything about saving himself for marriage.

Being a virgin has nothing to do with restraint. It has to do with not having sex.

Not everyone has women throwing themselves at them.

That doesn't really show restraint.

True, but depends on the person.

I expected an argument against that. Call it what you will but in my opinion a man who sets out to save himself for marriage has to have an incredible amount of restraint. Especially when you consider how rampant casual sex is. I've met quite a few of these men and have great respect for them. I mean good looking and highly educated men who haven't beeen around are miracles to me. I have serious issues dating men who have been, I don't have too much respect for them personally. True manhood is almost dead in so many ways (but that's another thread) so this is important to me.

If the man wants to wait until marriage, that is fine. But not every man wants to wait until marriage or get married. I for one rather not get married.

I don't recall the OP saying anything about saving himself for marriage.

 

Being a virgin has nothing to do with restraint. It has to do with not having sex.

 

Not everyone has women throwing themselves at them.

Yep. I'm shy and anti-social. Although *technical* I'm suppose to wait until marriage...but I no longer wear my purity ring. But the ring came with this card and I signed it. My head wasn't straight back then though.

What if that amazing person doesn't come?

 

I don't get what is so attractive about waiting.

Soooooooooooooooooooooo you resorting to disperation is the answer?.

Pertaining to the whole love/lust thing.

 

I'm 16, male, nearing 17, and I can't picture myself in a relationship, simply because I'm much too shy. I've never had luck with women, and I'm the only one out of my group of friends who has never had any sort of romantic contact with a member of the opposite sex. The thing is, I don't care that much. I'm realizing that it may never happen, and I can live with that. My fear, however, is dying a virgin. I can tolerate living alone; as an only child I'm use to it, but to never lose my virginity in my life, well, that concept scares me. I will resort to prostitution if that's the only way, which realistically it probably is. I wouldn't call myself "happy," but rather content with being alone. Anyway, I guess I'm not cut out for the whole mutual attraction thing.

If all you want to do is lose your virginity it will happen but I cannot garentee the quailty of the girl that you will have sex with.

I had a goal like that years ago and it really made it hard to meet girls in fact I wasn't meeting anyone it only made things harder because I wanted to have sex. Girls pick up on this very quickly, I guess they where designed to notice guys and there diseres on what they want to do to them so they will run at first sight most of the time.

Yep. I'm shy and anti-social. Although *technical* I'm suppose to wait until marriage...but I no longer wear my purity ring. But the ring came with this card and I signed it. My head wasn't straight back then though.

Signed a card?

No way could I sign something that says i'd stay a virgin.

5 minutes after I sign it, the one female on earth that would want to have sex with me would probably show up butt naked and say "Do me baby".

Probably not, but you never know.

Soooooooooooooooooooooo you resorting to disperation is the answer?.

You mean desperation?

Not everyone has women throwing themselves at them.

True that.

If you want it, you have to go get it. Waiting for it to come to you can result in a lot of waiting.

That having been said, my honest advice to someone 16 years old is to not worry about it. At 46, I can tell you that its really not that big of a deal. Easy for me to say, I suppose, but don't fall into the trap of putting sex up on a pedestal. Sure, its fun. And in the right relationship, it can be really special. But its "just" sex. There is soooo much more to life than getting laid.

I expected an argument against that. Call it what you will but in my opinion a man who sets out to save himself for marriage has to have an incredible amount of restraint. Especially when you consider how rampant casual sex is. I've met quite a few of these men and have great respect for them. I mean good looking and highly educated men who haven't beeen around are miracles to me. I have serious issues dating men who have been, I don't have too much respect for them personally. True manhood is almost dead in so many ways (but that's another thread) so this is important to me.

What about men who are involuntary virgins? As in they have no chance to get sex. I know personally I wanna wait for the right person before I do but I'm one of those people are an involuntary virgin. Also a lot of men who are in their 20's and still virgins are usually unattractive(not all) and are not choosing to wait but they are in this predicament because they can't find anyone to lose it with.

As for the OP, why resort to a hooker? It seems so immoral on so many levels and disgusting. You would be losing it with someone who only wants your money and nothing else. I know its a quick way to lose one's virginity but you are better than that. Like everyone has been saying you're only 16 and have plenty of time to lose it with maybe someone you care about or someone who finds you attractive. It seems much better to lose it that way.

Signed a card?

 

No way could I sign something that says i'd stay a virgin.

 

5 minutes after I sign it, the one female on earth that would want to have sex with me would probably show up butt naked and say "Do me baby".

 

Probably not, but you never know.

Got the ring online...and it came with paperwork. So to speak.

I ended up destroying the ring in a fit of rage later on.

You mean desperation?

 

Yes. Thats what I mean.

The right person to lose your virginity to doesn't necessarily mean you'll get married to them. I agree with waiting until you find someone you care about, and not some random, but waiting until you've married them seems ridiculous in my opinion.

Okay so I'm getting a disconnect here. What's with the whole "I'll never meet a woman in my whole life because I'm shy" thing? Have you asked a girl out ever, OP? Just talked with one in order to get to know her as a person?

Believe me, I understand that at your age, everything seems SO BIG AND IMPORTANT AND SERIOUS AND LIFE ALTERING AND FOREVER AND EVER...

It's not. Your hormones are lying to you. Just re-lax. Get to know some girls! They're not monsters! (mostly)

Yes. Thats what I mean.

Well......not getting laid can cause desperation.

I don't support anyone using a hooker.

I sure wouldn't. I want to lose it to someone who actually wants to have sex with me.

That and the right person might never come along.

Don't wait. Get busy.

I took the boy I feel in love with his virginity away while he's ten years older than you ! That's soooooooooooooo nice a boy who's shy and wants to be alone a big part of the time. Please stay away from prostitutes.